School has labeled my child as a “problem child”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The most surprising thing in this thread is how many different posters are casually familiar with the term elopement. How do you all know that? I worked in education for years, including as a para to a kid who ran out of the classroom on a regular basis, and I never once heard the term elopement to mean anything other than a runaway wedding.

Its been in the news recently because a child died after eloping from school (which had been an ongoing problem)

OP I agree with those saying its a CYA but if you do nothing else make it clear to your daughter she cannot leave the classroom. Silence? Whatever. But running away is truly dangerous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I fault any school that resorts to in-school suspension for a kindergartener. Shame on them.

I'm sorry, OP!! I agree. This kid is 5 or 6..Two suspensions seems over the top to me, too.

If the child is leaving the classroom and having tantrums, then the classroom is not the right space for her. She needs a different placement.

Remember, Teachers are not allowed to physically restrain a child or prevent a child from leaving the classroom. The Teacher can send an aide with the child or call the front office to let them know that the child left the office. The school then needs to find a place for the child and that might not be in the classroom which clearly overwhelmed the child enough that they left it.

That is why there needs to be a formal evaluation. The parents have a way to ask for that, they need to email the school and request an evaluation, that puts the school on the clock. The parents are aware that there are issues because they are already working with a therapist. They could have requested an evaluation before school started so that there was an IEP in place before kindergarten started, but they didn't.

Mom has said that she is being treated for a mental health condition and is aware that these things can be passed on. The child was in therapy for behaviors before K started. I have no clue why the parents did not start the IEP process early on or that they have not started them now. I don't think that the school can start the process without gathering enough data to do so, they have to have the parents consent or the data to back up evaluation without the parents consent. It sounds to me like that is what the school is doing. They are telling parents there are issues. They are documenting the issues. They are looking for an environment to de-escalate the problems when they happen, removing the child from the classroom.

The parents' response is to be upset that the child has been pulled from the class after eloping and meltdowns but has not called for a conference to discuss the issue or request an evaluation. That is on the parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The most surprising thing in this thread is how many different posters are casually familiar with the term elopement. How do you all know that? I worked in education for years, including as a para to a kid who ran out of the classroom on a regular basis, and I never once heard the term elopement to mean anything other than a runaway wedding.

Definitely because of the news and social media. It is either reported on more frequently or it’s happening more frequently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The most surprising thing in this thread is how many different posters are casually familiar with the term elopement. How do you all know that? I worked in education for years, including as a para to a kid who ran out of the classroom on a regular basis, and I never once heard the term elopement to mean anything other than a runaway wedding.

I’ve worked in a few schools over the years. That’s been the term in all of them for students leaving the classroom or school.

+1. I learned it through work as well, and it's been the standard term for probably fifteen years. It probably depends on when you were working in education. Technical terms eventually filter out to the general public, and I guess elopement has.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think that any poster is doing the OP -- who says she herself has a well documented mental health problem -- any favors in suggesting the school might be the issue.

I could not disagree more. Schools absolutely flail with kids who diverge from the norm in behavior. OP seems clear that her child needs supports- but the school is literally not doing a single thing to help the kid, and likely a lot of things to make it worse.

OP you have gotten a surprising amount of good advice on this thread - I expected it to be more like PP here. You could also try posting on the SN forum.

My opinion is that you should move schools to a public (if you are not there) or a different public. Privates generally cannot handle defiant behavior or eloping. This teacher and principal have showed you that they have zero understanding or care for your daughter’s challenges. I can’t tell you how much we suffered from the same when my kiddo was younger and had similar issues.

I think that elementary schools struggle with kids that don’t fit a mold. For reasons I don’t totally understand, teachers and administrators never seemed to understand my DS until middle school. Not all of them do, but there are a significant number that really get him now, and the ones that don’t are still more capable of rolling with it. I think maybe that’s because people who choose to work in MS don’t have some illusion that kids are all little rays of sunshine, so they are less thrown off by “bad” behavior.

That said schools and teachers absolutely differ even in elementary. This school is not working for your kid, so you should leave sooner rather than later. That’s hard to do when kids are older but easy in K.

It also sounds like she will need a diagnosis to access more supports eventually. So get going on that. The key to getting an IEP is documenting that her behavior is the issue so this is an easier lift than some other kids. But you still need a disability (or a “developmental delay”) in some school systems. when my child’s main issue was behavioral health got an IEP under the developmental delay code with no diagnosis at all (just severely delayed fine motor). I am a very adamant plaintiff’s lawyer so I was able to make that happen on my own but you may need an advocate. GL! You are not alone.

Sounds like you had a terrible experience. But, generalizing your experience to say that all schools flail with kids who don't follow the mold is crazy. And to minimize OP's daughter's behaviors is not helpful. Her daughter is eloping. Her daughter is being defiant. Her daughter is throwing fits. Her daughter needs interventions. And, while you talk about the need to document, you fail to realize that this is what the school is actually doing so they are way ahead of your advice. Your anger stands in the way of your ability to be really helpful.

Not the Lawyer poster here but if the school has noted the issue of elopement and shutting down in class and has suspended the student but has not called for a meeting to discuss the need for testing then the school is not handling the situation well.

A child who is eloping should lead to the school initiating meetings with the parents to get permission to test for issues. If the school has reached out to the parents and the parents have not agreed to a meeting, that is a different scenario. OPs post doesn't say how the school has discussed this with the parents or if they have requested, in writing, a meeting to discuss testing and evaluation for their kid. The OPs post does not mention conversations with their pediatrician about their kids' issues. I assume that there has been some type of evaluation because of the play therapy but that has not been stated.

I wouldn't jump straight to needing an advocate but I would not count on the school to be doing the right thing either. The OP needs to start the process with the school. If the school has been reaching out and the parents have not agreed to a meeting or an evaluation, then I can see that the school is gathering data to force the issue.

PP to which you were responding. I see this completely in a different light. OP’s child is a problem child. She displays dangerous behaviors (eloping, throwing fits and being defiant) and is demonstrating that she can’t perform in that environment (shutting down).

She has not been suspended. Instead she is on ISS, which can be their way of removing her from a situation causing her great distress and providing her with time to decompress before returning g to what is likely a chaotic classroom.

The school is trying to involve parents by regular contact but they seem to be burying their heads in the sand until now.

By both of these actions, the school is creating the documentation for potential interventions - kind of like an FBA.

I do agree that OP needs to look into evaluations and also, if this is public school, looking into special education services through either a 504 or an IEP. Personally even with the little information we know, I’d guess an IEP is the more appropriate because of the elopement and possibly the throwing fits. And at that age, the shutting down and need for decompression time might also need an IEP.

Nope. You are incredibly naive if you believe the school is doing anything proactive or helpful here. There is very little OP can do from home to solve school problems - so the school simply calling her to tell her does zero to actually help.

You are just wrong. As a parent who had a seriously mentally ill child at school that frequently eloped by both leaving class and leaving the building and who got frequent calls due to this and so many other problems, I do understand the level of stress that these calls invoke. But, as a parent you need to know. And, it's a no win for the school. If the school waits, the parent complains they weren't notified early enough. If the school calls too much they stress the parent. If the school calls too little, they don't convey the seriousness of the problem. There is always a reason to find fault with the school, when in truth there is no perfect pipeline to convey all of the information everyone needs to know.

That being said, notifying a parent lets them know they may need to take their child for a medical evaluation. Or they may need to let their child's therapist (here a play therapist) know there are serious problems at school so the therapist can do their part. Or they may need a different educational program for their child. Or they may need to partner with their school in a different way than is happening now. Parents are not spectators in the process. But to know where they fit in, they need information, which happens when the school calls to share problems.

I don’t think you understand OP’s situation. The school isn’t doing anything but punishing the child and calling OP to complain/report. There is very little OP can do from home to help the school with elopement. She already has the child in therapy so it’s far from the situation where a parent is in denial. The school is failing here because they are not starting the evaluation process or even doing basic behavioral management.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I fault any school that resorts to in-school suspension for a kindergartener. Shame on them.

I'm sorry, OP!! I agree. This kid is 5 or 6..Two suspensions seems over the top to me, too.

If the child is leaving the classroom and having tantrums, then the classroom is not the right space for her. She needs a different placement.

Remember, Teachers are not allowed to physically restrain a child or prevent a child from leaving the classroom. The Teacher can send an aide with the child or call the front office to let them know that the child left the office. The school then needs to find a place for the child and that might not be in the classroom which clearly overwhelmed the child enough that they left it.

That is why there needs to be a formal evaluation. The parents have a way to ask for that, they need to email the school and request an evaluation, that puts the school on the clock. The parents are aware that there are issues because they are already working with a therapist. They could have requested an evaluation before school started so that there was an IEP in place before kindergarten started, but they didn't.

Mom has said that she is being treated for a mental health condition and is aware that these things can be passed on. The child was in therapy for behaviors before K started. I have no clue why the parents did not start the IEP process early on or that they have not started them now. I don't think that the school can start the process without gathering enough data to do so, they have to have the parents consent or the data to back up evaluation without the parents consent. It sounds to me like that is what the school is doing. They are telling parents there are issues. They are documenting the issues. They are looking for an environment to de-escalate the problems when they happen, removing the child from the classroom.

The parents' response is to be upset that the child has been pulled from the class after eloping and meltdowns but has not called for a conference to discuss the issue or request an evaluation. That is on the parents.

It is literally not on the parents to initiate the IEP process. It is supposed to be the school that does it proactively. Also, I have never understood why schools don’t put into place basic behavioral modification techniques as soon as a child’s behavior becomes disruptive. They are pretty simple but schools like to just ignore the solutions and seem to think that making alarmed calls to parents is going to solve the in-school issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I fault any school that resorts to in-school suspension for a kindergartener. Shame on them.

I'm sorry, OP!! I agree. This kid is 5 or 6..Two suspensions seems over the top to me, too.

If the child is leaving the classroom and having tantrums, then the classroom is not the right space for her. She needs a different placement.

Remember, Teachers are not allowed to physically restrain a child or prevent a child from leaving the classroom. The Teacher can send an aide with the child or call the front office to let them know that the child left the office. The school then needs to find a place for the child and that might not be in the classroom which clearly overwhelmed the child enough that they left it.

That is why there needs to be a formal evaluation. The parents have a way to ask for that, they need to email the school and request an evaluation, that puts the school on the clock. The parents are aware that there are issues because they are already working with a therapist. They could have requested an evaluation before school started so that there was an IEP in place before kindergarten started, but they didn't.

Mom has said that she is being treated for a mental health condition and is aware that these things can be passed on. The child was in therapy for behaviors before K started. I have no clue why the parents did not start the IEP process early on or that they have not started them now. I don't think that the school can start the process without gathering enough data to do so, they have to have the parents consent or the data to back up evaluation without the parents consent. It sounds to me like that is what the school is doing. They are telling parents there are issues. They are documenting the issues. They are looking for an environment to de-escalate the problems when they happen, removing the child from the classroom.

The parents' response is to be upset that the child has been pulled from the class after eloping and meltdowns but has not called for a conference to discuss the issue or request an evaluation. That is on the parents.

It is literally not on the parents to initiate the IEP process. It is supposed to be the school that does it proactively. Also, I have never understood why schools don’t put into place basic behavioral modification techniques as soon as a child’s behavior becomes disruptive. They are pretty simple but schools like to just ignore the solutions and seem to think that making alarmed calls to parents is going to solve the in-school issue.

Wrong. Both parents and school can initiate. A parent has the right to ask for a formal meeting in which an IEP or a 504 is requested, and a school has the right to invite the parent to such a meeting. The parent can decline the invitation, but the public school cannot refuse to hold a meeting that a parent requests. I have LIVED this in MCPS, so I know what happens in public. I don't know about private schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I fault any school that resorts to in-school suspension for a kindergartener. Shame on them.

I'm sorry, OP!! I agree. This kid is 5 or 6..Two suspensions seems over the top to me, too.

If the child is leaving the classroom and having tantrums, then the classroom is not the right space for her. She needs a different placement.

Remember, Teachers are not allowed to physically restrain a child or prevent a child from leaving the classroom. The Teacher can send an aide with the child or call the front office to let them know that the child left the office. The school then needs to find a place for the child and that might not be in the classroom which clearly overwhelmed the child enough that they left it.

That is why there needs to be a formal evaluation. The parents have a way to ask for that, they need to email the school and request an evaluation, that puts the school on the clock. The parents are aware that there are issues because they are already working with a therapist. They could have requested an evaluation before school started so that there was an IEP in place before kindergarten started, but they didn't.

Mom has said that she is being treated for a mental health condition and is aware that these things can be passed on. The child was in therapy for behaviors before K started. I have no clue why the parents did not start the IEP process early on or that they have not started them now. I don't think that the school can start the process without gathering enough data to do so, they have to have the parents consent or the data to back up evaluation without the parents consent. It sounds to me like that is what the school is doing. They are telling parents there are issues. They are documenting the issues. They are looking for an environment to de-escalate the problems when they happen, removing the child from the classroom.

The parents' response is to be upset that the child has been pulled from the class after eloping and meltdowns but has not called for a conference to discuss the issue or request an evaluation. That is on the parents.

It is literally not on the parents to initiate the IEP process. It is supposed to be the school that does it proactively. Also, I have never understood why schools don’t put into place basic behavioral modification techniques as soon as a child’s behavior becomes disruptive. They are pretty simple but schools like to just ignore the solutions and seem to think that making alarmed calls to parents is going to solve the in-school issue.

The school needs enough data points to initiate the conversation, and the parents need to be willing to attend. The school has been reaching out to the OP about issues, and the OPs response is to lament that the child is labeled as a problem child. The OP did not mention asking for a conference to discuss the issues or asking the school to meet to discuss having the child evaluated.

A different scenario but DS had speech issues. His K teacher did not approach us until the second month when she had a long list of examples. We talked with her and agreed that a meeting to discuss evaluation was needed. She started the process that day. But she needed more then one or two data points to justify starting the process and we agreed to the conversation.

All OP has told us is that there are regular calls and that the school has used ISS twice. The OP did not say "we asked for a meeting with the Teacher to discuss what is happening." or "We emailed asking for an evaluation." This is not all on the school. It is clear that the school is gathering data points but that the parents have not reached out to talk to the school.

We have no idea what the school might be trying in the classroom, they might be trying interventions. The OP doesn't know because they have not meet with the school to discuss what is happening. I don't think schools do a great job with IEPs and helping kids with SPED/ED issues. I think schools try hard to not give IEPs because of the expense. I think there are a lot of times that schools are hoping that parents don't pursue IEPs because of the expense. I also think that there are parents who willingly ignore issues at school and say the school needs to address what happens at school. I think there are parents who want the school to do far more then is reasonable. But I am not going to blame the school for not starting a process when the parents are barely responding to what the school is telling them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I fault any school that resorts to in-school suspension for a kindergartener. Shame on them.

I'm sorry, OP!! I agree. This kid is 5 or 6..Two suspensions seems over the top to me, too.

If the child is leaving the classroom and having tantrums, then the classroom is not the right space for her. She needs a different placement.

Remember, Teachers are not allowed to physically restrain a child or prevent a child from leaving the classroom. The Teacher can send an aide with the child or call the front office to let them know that the child left the office. The school then needs to find a place for the child and that might not be in the classroom which clearly overwhelmed the child enough that they left it.

That is why there needs to be a formal evaluation. The parents have a way to ask for that, they need to email the school and request an evaluation, that puts the school on the clock. The parents are aware that there are issues because they are already working with a therapist. They could have requested an evaluation before school started so that there was an IEP in place before kindergarten started, but they didn't.

Mom has said that she is being treated for a mental health condition and is aware that these things can be passed on. The child was in therapy for behaviors before K started. I have no clue why the parents did not start the IEP process early on or that they have not started them now. I don't think that the school can start the process without gathering enough data to do so, they have to have the parents consent or the data to back up evaluation without the parents consent. It sounds to me like that is what the school is doing. They are telling parents there are issues. They are documenting the issues. They are looking for an environment to de-escalate the problems when they happen, removing the child from the classroom.

The parents' response is to be upset that the child has been pulled from the class after eloping and meltdowns but has not called for a conference to discuss the issue or request an evaluation. That is on the parents.

It is literally not on the parents to initiate the IEP process. It is supposed to be the school that does it proactively. Also, I have never understood why schools don’t put into place basic behavioral modification techniques as soon as a child’s behavior becomes disruptive. They are pretty simple but schools like to just ignore the solutions and seem to think that making alarmed calls to parents is going to solve the in-school issue.

This is false. Schools hate and will do everything to avoid them . They are not your friend when it comes to getting and IEP and will usually fight them. It us the parents who need to get the psych evaluation testing done - which is what I think the school is trying to tell the parents here - that their kid needs help - but the mother isn’t getting the message and wants to complain about the school. I, too, see hints of Selective Mutusm, which must be caught early for treatment. The burden is on the parents to get testing done. Their pediatrician can make recommendations. Often the school has a list too. You the. Have the testing done, learn about the issues the child may have and what the tester recommends - the. You go back to the school and say “Larla needs a 504 or an IEP, here’s why”. Then the school sets up a meeting at which it will deny or give the lesser of the options (the 504). That’s why at that meeting you bring in your big guns. For our DD, we brought in her therapist, the tester, the pediatrician eval, and her tutor. Langley didn’t want to give an IEP - the school board overruled and we got it.

A few publics will offer their own testing but it is never as thorough as the multi-day neuropsych and often administered by new college grads who don’t know what they are doing or what they are seeing in the child’s because they are too inexperienced . You should always go to an outside professional tester if you can afford it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I fault any school that resorts to in-school suspension for a kindergartener. Shame on them.

I'm sorry, OP!! I agree. This kid is 5 or 6..Two suspensions seems over the top to me, too.

If the child is leaving the classroom and having tantrums, then the classroom is not the right space for her. She needs a different placement.

Remember, Teachers are not allowed to physically restrain a child or prevent a child from leaving the classroom. The Teacher can send an aide with the child or call the front office to let them know that the child left the office. The school then needs to find a place for the child and that might not be in the classroom which clearly overwhelmed the child enough that they left it.

That is why there needs to be a formal evaluation. The parents have a way to ask for that, they need to email the school and request an evaluation, that puts the school on the clock. The parents are aware that there are issues because they are already working with a therapist. They could have requested an evaluation before school started so that there was an IEP in place before kindergarten started, but they didn't.

Mom has said that she is being treated for a mental health condition and is aware that these things can be passed on. The child was in therapy for behaviors before K started. I have no clue why the parents did not start the IEP process early on or that they have not started them now. I don't think that the school can start the process without gathering enough data to do so, they have to have the parents consent or the data to back up evaluation without the parents consent. It sounds to me like that is what the school is doing. They are telling parents there are issues. They are documenting the issues. They are looking for an environment to de-escalate the problems when they happen, removing the child from the classroom.

The parents' response is to be upset that the child has been pulled from the class after eloping and meltdowns but has not called for a conference to discuss the issue or request an evaluation. That is on the parents.

It is literally not on the parents to initiate the IEP process. It is supposed to be the school that does it proactively. Also, I have never understood why schools don’t put into place basic behavioral modification techniques as soon as a child’s behavior becomes disruptive. They are pretty simple but schools like to just ignore the solutions and seem to think that making alarmed calls to parents is going to solve the in-school issue.

This is false. Schools hate and will do everything to avoid them . They are not your friend when it comes to getting and IEP and will usually fight them. It us the parents who need to get the psych evaluation testing done - which is what I think the school is trying to tell the parents here - that their kid needs help - but the mother isn’t getting the message and wants to complain about the school. I, too, see hints of Selective Mutusm, which must be caught early for treatment. The burden is on the parents to get testing done. Their pediatrician can make recommendations. Often the school has a list too. You the. Have the testing done, learn about the issues the child may have and what the tester recommends - the. You go back to the school and say “Larla needs a 504 or an IEP, here’s why”. Then the school sets up a meeting at which it will deny or give the lesser of the options (the 504). That’s why at that meeting you bring in your big guns. For our DD, we brought in her therapist, the tester, the pediatrician eval, and her tutor. Langley didn’t want to give an IEP - the school board overruled and we got it.

A few publics will offer their own testing but it is never as thorough as the multi-day neuropsych and often administered by new college grads who don’t know what they are doing or what they are seeing in the child’s because they are too inexperienced . You should always go to an outside professional tester if you can afford it.

Schools will eventually initiate if there is enough data AND the parents have not come into meet with them. But those are going to be your extreme cases, which this K student sounds like.

I don't think schools are allowed to say "we think that there is a problem with whatever the issue is" because teachers and admin are not Doctors and not licensed to make diagnoses. The most they can do is pass on information, document, and let parents know what is happening.

Parents can choose to go for outside evaluation, based on what they have seen or heard from the school, request an evaluation through the school, or do both. The school is not going to conduct an evaluation without parents permission until the school has a lot of data and can force the issue without parental consent.

The school is reaching out. The OPs post does not make it sound like the parents have asked for a meeting to discuss what is happening or requested a meeting for evlauation.

[Anonymous]

I think the school cannot officially request an evaluation of the child but they are basically sending a clear message to the family. There is a problem (elopement, tantrums etc) and school is documenting it just in case something will happen in the future and to push the family to take action before the situation gets completely out of control

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I fault any school that resorts to in-school suspension for a kindergartener. Shame on them.

I'm sorry, OP!! I agree. This kid is 5 or 6..Two suspensions seems over the top to me, too.

If the child is leaving the classroom and having tantrums, then the classroom is not the right space for her. She needs a different placement.

Remember, Teachers are not allowed to physically restrain a child or prevent a child from leaving the classroom. The Teacher can send an aide with the child or call the front office to let them know that the child left the office. The school then needs to find a place for the child and that might not be in the classroom which clearly overwhelmed the child enough that they left it.

That is why there needs to be a formal evaluation. The parents have a way to ask for that, they need to email the school and request an evaluation, that puts the school on the clock. The parents are aware that there are issues because they are already working with a therapist. They could have requested an evaluation before school started so that there was an IEP in place before kindergarten started, but they didn't.

Mom has said that she is being treated for a mental health condition and is aware that these things can be passed on. The child was in therapy for behaviors before K started. I have no clue why the parents did not start the IEP process early on or that they have not started them now. I don't think that the school can start the process without gathering enough data to do so, they have to have the parents consent or the data to back up evaluation without the parents consent. It sounds to me like that is what the school is doing. They are telling parents there are issues. They are documenting the issues. They are looking for an environment to de-escalate the problems when they happen, removing the child from the classroom.

The parents' response is to be upset that the child has been pulled from the class after eloping and meltdowns but has not called for a conference to discuss the issue or request an evaluation. That is on the parents.

It is literally not on the parents to initiate the IEP process. It is supposed to be the school that does it proactively. Also, I have never understood why schools don’t put into place basic behavioral modification techniques as soon as a child’s behavior becomes disruptive. They are pretty simple but schools like to just ignore the solutions and seem to think that making alarmed calls to parents is going to solve the in-school issue.

Wrong. Both parents and school can initiate. A parent has the right to ask for a formal meeting in which an IEP or a 504 is requested, and a school has the right to invite the parent to such a meeting. The parent can decline the invitation, but the public school cannot refuse to hold a meeting that a parent requests. I have LIVED this in MCPS, so I know what happens in public. I don't know about private schools.

A parent can initiate; the school has a legal obligation to do so. But the school would rather do nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I fault any school that resorts to in-school suspension for a kindergartener. Shame on them.

I'm sorry, OP!! I agree. This kid is 5 or 6..Two suspensions seems over the top to me, too.

If the child is leaving the classroom and having tantrums, then the classroom is not the right space for her. She needs a different placement.

Remember, Teachers are not allowed to physically restrain a child or prevent a child from leaving the classroom. The Teacher can send an aide with the child or call the front office to let them know that the child left the office. The school then needs to find a place for the child and that might not be in the classroom which clearly overwhelmed the child enough that they left it.

That is why there needs to be a formal evaluation. The parents have a way to ask for that, they need to email the school and request an evaluation, that puts the school on the clock. The parents are aware that there are issues because they are already working with a therapist. They could have requested an evaluation before school started so that there was an IEP in place before kindergarten started, but they didn't.

Mom has said that she is being treated for a mental health condition and is aware that these things can be passed on. The child was in therapy for behaviors before K started. I have no clue why the parents did not start the IEP process early on or that they have not started them now. I don't think that the school can start the process without gathering enough data to do so, they have to have the parents consent or the data to back up evaluation without the parents consent. It sounds to me like that is what the school is doing. They are telling parents there are issues. They are documenting the issues. They are looking for an environment to de-escalate the problems when they happen, removing the child from the classroom.

The parents' response is to be upset that the child has been pulled from the class after eloping and meltdowns but has not called for a conference to discuss the issue or request an evaluation. That is on the parents.

It is literally not on the parents to initiate the IEP process. It is supposed to be the school that does it proactively. Also, I have never understood why schools don’t put into place basic behavioral modification techniques as soon as a child’s behavior becomes disruptive. They are pretty simple but schools like to just ignore the solutions and seem to think that making alarmed calls to parents is going to solve the in-school issue.

This is false. Schools hate and will do everything to avoid them . They are not your friend when it comes to getting and IEP and will usually fight them. It us the parents who need to get the psych evaluation testing done - which is what I think the school is trying to tell the parents here - that their kid needs help - but the mother isn’t getting the message and wants to complain about the school. I, too, see hints of Selective Mutusm, which must be caught early for treatment. The burden is on the parents to get testing done. Their pediatrician can make recommendations. Often the school has a list too. You the. Have the testing done, learn about the issues the child may have and what the tester recommends - the. You go back to the school and say “Larla needs a 504 or an IEP, here’s why”. Then the school sets up a meeting at which it will deny or give the lesser of the options (the 504). That’s why at that meeting you bring in your big guns. For our DD, we brought in her therapist, the tester, the pediatrician eval, and her tutor. Langley didn’t want to give an IEP - the school board overruled and we got it.

A few publics will offer their own testing but it is never as thorough as the multi-day neuropsych and often administered by new college grads who don’t know what they are doing or what they are seeing in the child’s because they are too inexperienced . You should always go to an outside professional tester if you can afford it.

PP here. ITA that this is how it works out in practice! OP may not know this yet. It is an extremely confusing situation to be in as a parent when the school is sending messages that your child has a big issue but isn’t offering any support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the school cannot officially request an evaluation of the child but they are basically sending a clear message to the family. There is a problem (elopement, tantrums etc) and school is documenting it just in case something will happen in the future and to push the family to take action before the situation gets completely out of control

No. The school has a legal obligation to identify and evaluate children with suspected disabilities. The law is quite clear on this. But 9/10 they don’t.

[Anonymous]

A child does not get suspended for not participating. She probably acted out after being pushed because child did not want to participate.

I would switch schools. This does not sound like the right school for your child.

I have three kids. One of my kids is quiet and shy. Quiet shy kids are left alone. It must be a lot more than being quiet and not participating. The school is documenting because they suspect something is wrong with the child.