Can we have a rational discussion about going Greek?

[Anonymous]

That is what happens on campus, generalizing. They dress alike for videos and such for branding. Houses are very much generalized, fair or not, “party girls ahem”, “studious”, “rich”, “not cool but nice” and on an on. Doesn’t matter that all girls won’t live up to house stereotype, but the generalizations are alive and well by the Greeks themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in one, very active on Panhellenic board, husband was also in IFC. There are many pros and cons. I think it elicits strong reactions due to the immaturity of “sorry you didn’t get a bid” type of comments. Some Greeks don’t seem to comprehend that it is very unappealing for very valid reasons to some people. I am glad mine aren’t interested despite having an overall positive experience. I do understand why others are excited about it, it can be a lot of fun and friends for a lifetime.

See, I get all of that, but it doesn't justify nasty parents jumping on any thread that relates to going Greek to rip apart and generalize against any kid who wants to do it or any parent who supports it. And the reasons they give often do make them sound jealous because mostly they didn't go Greek themselves and their kids don't want to so why bother saying anything at all? I'm just wondering why they feel the need to.

The same reason you feel the need to come on here and call them jealous. Why did you feel the need to post?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two of my girls were in sororities at UVA. They had a nice time, made some good friends, the girls all seemed very nice and put together, and now everyone is just fine and happy and gainfully employed. If you met my girls today you’d never peg them as “sorority types” — you’d think the opposite in fact. And that’s the point. You all are stereotyping to the extreme. Everyone is an individual and deserves to be treated and viewed as one.

I’m not gonna say you’re “just jealous” — but there’s definitely something living in your head on this issue.

If this is the case, why do we always see herds of sorority girls dressed almost identically? Your argument is making me laugh, because the point of Greek life appears to be conformity.

And there you go generalizing again.

Why do I feel like you're not actually interested in a "rational discussion?"

[Anonymous]

I have a few cousins who were in sororities and as far as I can tell it did not benefit their lives in any way past college. It didn't get them jobs, they're not close with any of their "sisters" - none of that. So to my eye, they paid for temporary friends for four years, which seems silly since they're both outgoing and bubbly and friendly and could have made friends without that crutch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two of my girls were in sororities at UVA. They had a nice time, made some good friends, the girls all seemed very nice and put together, and now everyone is just fine and happy and gainfully employed. If you met my girls today you’d never peg them as “sorority types” — you’d think the opposite in fact. And that’s the point. You all are stereotyping to the extreme. Everyone is an individual and deserves to be treated and viewed as one.

I’m not gonna say you’re “just jealous” — but there’s definitely something living in your head on this issue.

If this is the case, why do we always see herds of sorority girls dressed almost identically? Your argument is making me laugh, because the point of Greek life appears to be conformity.

And there you go generalizing again.

I mean, the Greeks invented the term "GDI." So they call people who are not part of the Greek system "independent," thus implying that those within the Greek system are NOT independent. Greeks want to be part of a herd. That's okay! But let's not trumpet them as brave iconoclasts.

[Anonymous]

What I find hilarious are the posters calling southern sorority girls “hoes, slutty,” etc when they see those dance videos… but when MIT sorority girls put out exact the same kind of dance videos, they’re praised. DCUM’s finest never disappoint.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a few cousins who were in sororities and as far as I can tell it did not benefit their lives in any way past college. It didn't get them jobs, they're not close with any of their "sisters" - none of that. So to my eye, they paid for temporary friends for four years, which seems silly since they're both outgoing and bubbly and friendly and could have made friends without that crutch.

how close are you to your cousins? how much do you REALLY know about who their friends are?

[Anonymous]

I wonder what OP thinks a rational discussion on this topic looks like.

[Anonymous]

You mean back door stuff?

The Greek influence lives on in Afghanistan, etc. Extremely disturbing abuse of young men and boys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in one, very active on Panhellenic board, husband was also in IFC. There are many pros and cons. I think it elicits strong reactions due to the immaturity of “sorry you didn’t get a bid” type of comments. Some Greeks don’t seem to comprehend that it is very unappealing for very valid reasons to some people. I am glad mine aren’t interested despite having an overall positive experience. I do understand why others are excited about it, it can be a lot of fun and friends for a lifetime.

See, I get all of that, but it doesn't justify nasty parents jumping on any thread that relates to going Greek to rip apart and generalize against any kid who wants to do it or any parent who supports it. And the reasons they give often do make them sound jealous because mostly they didn't go Greek themselves and their kids don't want to so why bother saying anything at all? I'm just wondering why they feel the need to.

The same reason you feel the need to come on here and call them jealous. Why did you feel the need to post?

I come on and post "jealous" only AFTER a poster with no connection to the Greek system other than hating it shows up to bash it on threads having nothing to do with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here. My kids were in college to prepare for the adult world. Greek life seems juvenile, delaying adulthood. As a parent we looked closely at stats of Greek life on various campuses and were ok, with the college as a choice, if Greek participation didn't exceed 20%.

At my dd's college, the kids in greek life are called 2.0s as in high school 2.0

LOL. That's funny! Can you share which school?

(BTW, I'm not anti-Greek. I actually loved my low-key experience. Though my sorority wasn't A-list or especially cool on campus, we had a great time when we were together and many of us are still closely in touch 30 years later!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here. My kids were in college to prepare for the adult world. Greek life seems juvenile, delaying adulthood. As a parent we looked closely at stats of Greek life on various campuses and were ok, with the college as a choice, if Greek participation didn't exceed 20%.

At my dd's college, the kids in greek life are called 2.0s as in high school 2.0

LOL. That's funny! Can you share which school?

(BTW, I'm not anti-Greek. I actually loved my low-key experience. Though my sorority wasn't A-list or especially cool on campus, we had a great time when we were together and many of us are still closely in touch 30 years later!)

Oh please. They're not called that. The "dd" is just jealous

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As an immigrant kid in college I found it exclusionary as hell. I am glad my own kids aren't interested.

You were unfortunately at the wrong college then. Totally not the experience I had.

How can it be non-exclusionary if only a small percentage of people who rush are accepted?

It's not a small percentage that are accepted -it's the opposite. It's a small percentage that don't get bids. This, of course, does not include those who dropped out during the process bc they were cut from a favorite house.

[Anonymous]

My daughter who could possibly be interested, I’d rather she focus on more productive things than hair, makeup. clothing, parties and tik toks. Yes, they do good things too, but the outward appearances in all aspects of life is the focus. That just doesn’t jive with my adult sensibilities anymore. I do understand houses and campuses differ on norms.

Yeah. You're an adult - your "adult sensibilities" have zero to do with what teens and early twenty year olds want.

And your hair, makeup, clothing line really sells that you believe they do "good things too."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any mention of going Greek on this forum is always a trigger. Why is that? Why do people care so much? I mean, if it's not your thing, great, but why judge so harshly when somebody else does it?

I see the positive appeal in terms of networking and belonging to a ready-made social clique. My main concern is the hazing and cult-like rules and conditioning. The dysfunctional power dynamic seems to be priming kids for joining toxic relationships or toxic workplaces.

I wish frats/sororities would be more healthy social environments than they are designed to be. Our kids are leaving home at 18-ish and I want them to have nurturing mini homes away from home, but the power dynamic of rushing and them being forced to be loyal to the group at all costs seems problematic.

You were never in either I can tell.

+1