Can we have a rational discussion about going Greek?

[Anonymous]

Any mention of going Greek on this forum is always a trigger. Why is that? Why do people care so much? I mean, if it's not your thing, great, but why judge so harshly when somebody else does it?

[Anonymous]

I was in one, very active on Panhellenic board, husband was also in IFC. There are many pros and cons. I think it elicits strong reactions due to the immaturity of “sorry you didn’t get a bid” type of comments. Some Greeks don’t seem to comprehend that it is very unappealing for very valid reasons to some people. I am glad mine aren’t interested despite having an overall positive experience. I do understand why others are excited about it, it can be a lot of fun and friends for a lifetime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was in one, very active on Panhellenic board, husband was also in IFC. There are many pros and cons. I think it elicits strong reactions due to the immaturity of “sorry you didn’t get a bid” type of comments. Some Greeks don’t seem to comprehend that it is very unappealing for very valid reasons to some people. I am glad mine aren’t interested despite having an overall positive experience. I do understand why others are excited about it, it can be a lot of fun and friends for a lifetime.

Can you elaborate on this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was in one, very active on Panhellenic board, husband was also in IFC. There are many pros and cons. I think it elicits strong reactions due to the immaturity of “sorry you didn’t get a bid” type of comments. Some Greeks don’t seem to comprehend that it is very unappealing for very valid reasons to some people. I am glad mine aren’t interested despite having an overall positive experience. I do understand why others are excited about it, it can be a lot of fun and friends for a lifetime.

See, I get all of that, but it doesn't justify nasty parents jumping on any thread that relates to going Greek to rip apart and generalize against any kid who wants to do it or any parent who supports it. And the reasons they give often do make them sound jealous because mostly they didn't go Greek themselves and their kids don't want to so why bother saying anything at all? I'm just wondering why they feel the need to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Any mention of going Greek on this forum is always a trigger. Why is that? Why do people care so much? I mean, if it's not your thing, great, but why judge so harshly when somebody else does it?

I don’t see it this way at all.

What I do see here is reaction to other people who post absurdly about Greek life. Like fraternity bro troll. I can also see why it would seem absurd to some people that there are sorority consultants. I think these sorts of things are what people are reacting to, no Greek life in general.

This is coming from someone who went through rush and was in a sorority in an SEC school.

[Anonymous]

Personally I think there are good and bad aspects. Very good for my DS at a small college in a fraternity - they have parties but also do charity stuff, a structured social life with trips and formals and dated events, sports competitions and there are always guys around to play basketball and video games, which he likes.

It's a lot for sororities in the SEC and in other places and I can see why some kids would opt out.

My other DS chose not to go greek and he was very happy at his school without a fraternity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in one, very active on Panhellenic board, husband was also in IFC. There are many pros and cons. I think it elicits strong reactions due to the immaturity of “sorry you didn’t get a bid” type of comments. Some Greeks don’t seem to comprehend that it is very unappealing for very valid reasons to some people. I am glad mine aren’t interested despite having an overall positive experience. I do understand why others are excited about it, it can be a lot of fun and friends for a lifetime.

Can you elaborate on this?

I credit it with gaining confidence and leadership opportunities, but the day to day was not conducive to what I would want for kids. Rushing is vapid, focus was on partying many days of week, hazing, learning was secondary to Greek lifestyle and being a top house on campus. My son is way too academic and focused, wouldn’t appeal. My daughter who could possibly be interested, I’d rather she focus on more productive things than hair, makeup. clothing, parties and tik toks. Yes, they do good things too, but the outward appearances in all aspects of life is the focus. That just doesn’t jive with my adult sensibilities anymore. I do understand houses and campuses differ on norms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any mention of going Greek on this forum is always a trigger. Why is that? Why do people care so much? I mean, if it's not your thing, great, but why judge so harshly when somebody else does it?

I don’t see it this way at all.

What I do see here is reaction to other people who post absurdly about Greek life. Like fraternity bro troll. I can also see why it would seem absurd to some people that there are sorority consultants. I think these sorts of things are what people are reacting to, no Greek life in general.

This is coming from someone who went through rush and was in a sorority in an SEC school.

Nah, it goes deeper than that. There's a recent thread where a mom seeks advice on what to wear to a parents' sorority formal and the anti's are all over her. Why post if it has nothing to do with you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in one, very active on Panhellenic board, husband was also in IFC. There are many pros and cons. I think it elicits strong reactions due to the immaturity of “sorry you didn’t get a bid” type of comments. Some Greeks don’t seem to comprehend that it is very unappealing for very valid reasons to some people. I am glad mine aren’t interested despite having an overall positive experience. I do understand why others are excited about it, it can be a lot of fun and friends for a lifetime.

See, I get all of that, but it doesn't justify nasty parents jumping on any thread that relates to going Greek to rip apart and generalize against any kid who wants to do it or any parent who supports it. And the reasons they give often do make them sound jealous because mostly they didn't go Greek themselves and their kids don't want to so why bother saying anything at all? I'm just wondering why they feel the need to.

LOL. PP gave a very balanced response that included the insight that a lot of people are reacting to “sorry you didn’t get a bid” type comments, and then you make her point for her. Good lord.

If Greek life is so wonderful, enjoy it! Revel in it! Why would you let strangers on the internet you’re sure are just jealous bring you down?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Personally I think there are good and bad aspects. Very good for my DS at a small college in a fraternity - they have parties but also do charity stuff, a structured social life with trips and formals and dated events, sports competitions and there are always guys around to play basketball and video games, which he likes.

It's a lot for sororities in the SEC and in other places and I can see why some kids would opt out.

My other DS chose not to go greek and he was very happy at his school without a fraternity.

You're missing the point. Yes, it's not for everyone but why the vitriol against those who decide to do it?

[Anonymous]

I think the anti-folks are reacting partially to the "king of campus" "foine girls" troll. They are also concerned about pledging/hazing, unfortunately there are kids that die every single year at different schools because other 20 year olds are pressuring them to do something unhealthy. There is also a worry about endorsing superficiality, parading one's self for group judgement during rush, etc.

The flip side is obviously the strong bonds and community you build together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in one, very active on Panhellenic board, husband was also in IFC. There are many pros and cons. I think it elicits strong reactions due to the immaturity of “sorry you didn’t get a bid” type of comments. Some Greeks don’t seem to comprehend that it is very unappealing for very valid reasons to some people. I am glad mine aren’t interested despite having an overall positive experience. I do understand why others are excited about it, it can be a lot of fun and friends for a lifetime.

Can you elaborate on this?

I credit it with gaining confidence and leadership opportunities, but the day to day was not conducive to what I would want for kids. Rushing is vapid, focus was on partying many days of week, hazing, learning was secondary to Greek lifestyle and being a top house on campus. My son is way too academic and focused, wouldn’t appeal. My daughter who could possibly be interested, I’d rather she focus on more productive things than hair, makeup. clothing, parties and tik toks. Yes, they do good things too, but the outward appearances in all aspects of life is the focus. That just doesn’t jive with my adult sensibilities anymore. I do understand houses and campuses differ on norms.

It sure doesn't sound like you understand that at all. You're generalizing to the nth degree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in one, very active on Panhellenic board, husband was also in IFC. There are many pros and cons. I think it elicits strong reactions due to the immaturity of “sorry you didn’t get a bid” type of comments. Some Greeks don’t seem to comprehend that it is very unappealing for very valid reasons to some people. I am glad mine aren’t interested despite having an overall positive experience. I do understand why others are excited about it, it can be a lot of fun and friends for a lifetime.

Can you elaborate on this?

I credit it with gaining confidence and leadership opportunities, but the day to day was not conducive to what I would want for kids. Rushing is vapid, focus was on partying many days of week, hazing, learning was secondary to Greek lifestyle and being a top house on campus. My son is way too academic and focused, wouldn’t appeal. My daughter who could possibly be interested, I’d rather she focus on more productive things than hair, makeup. clothing, parties and tik toks. Yes, they do good things too, but the outward appearances in all aspects of life is the focus. That just doesn’t jive with my adult sensibilities anymore. I do understand houses and campuses differ on norms.

It sure doesn't sound like you understand that at all. You're generalizing to the nth degree.

The PP asked for my opinion based on my experience and I shared it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Any mention of going Greek on this forum is always a trigger. Why is that? Why do people care so much? I mean, if it's not your thing, great, but why judge so harshly when somebody else does it?

Why are you just asking a bunch of questions? I thought you wanted a rational discussion which would imply you had some unbiased, rational
Pros and cons to offer.

[Anonymous]

I was very anti-Greek in college (Big 10). I associated the scene with heavy drinking, obsession with sports and appearances, and general stupidity. I realize these are stereotypes but also based on people I knew and parties I occasionally went to. But now I have a kid who is potentially interested in rushing so I'm trying to keep an open mind.