Can we have a rational discussion about going Greek?

[Anonymous]

My husband and I went to a medium-sized public college and were both involved in Greek life. However, I feel like a lot has changed with addition of social media, especially when it comes to sororities. There just seems to be a lot more pressure to have a certain image to publicize that to the world on social media. My sorority in college was very low-key and we did our thing without concern about broadcasting it widely. That has been a huge shift and reason I am much more skeptical of these organizations in their current state.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in one, very active on Panhellenic board, husband was also in IFC. There are many pros and cons. I think it elicits strong reactions due to the immaturity of “sorry you didn’t get a bid” type of comments. Some Greeks don’t seem to comprehend that it is very unappealing for very valid reasons to some people. I am glad mine aren’t interested despite having an overall positive experience. I do understand why others are excited about it, it can be a lot of fun and friends for a lifetime.

Can you elaborate on this?

I credit it with gaining confidence and leadership opportunities, but the day to day was not conducive to what I would want for kids. Rushing is vapid, focus was on partying many days of week, hazing, learning was secondary to Greek lifestyle and being a top house on campus. My son is way too academic and focused, wouldn’t appeal. My daughter who could possibly be interested, I’d rather she focus on more productive things than hair, makeup. clothing, parties and tik toks. Yes, they do good things too, but the outward appearances in all aspects of life is the focus. That just doesn’t jive with my adult sensibilities anymore. I do understand houses and campuses differ on norms.

It sure doesn't sound like you understand that at all. You're generalizing to the nth degree.

The PP asked for my opinion based on my experience and I shared it.

Oh, really? They had tic tok back in your day? How remarkable!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any mention of going Greek on this forum is always a trigger. Why is that? Why do people care so much? I mean, if it's not your thing, great, but why judge so harshly when somebody else does it?

I don’t see it this way at all.

What I do see here is reaction to other people who post absurdly about Greek life. Like fraternity bro troll. I can also see why it would seem absurd to some people that there are sorority consultants. I think these sorts of things are what people are reacting to, no Greek life in general.

This is coming from someone who went through rush and was in a sorority in an SEC school.

Nah, it goes deeper than that. There's a recent thread where a mom seeks advice on what to wear to a parents' sorority formal and the anti's are all over her. Why post if it has nothing to do with you?

Well to be fair, that is also absurd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I went to a medium-sized public college and were both involved in Greek life. However, I feel like a lot has changed with addition of social media, especially when it comes to sororities. There just seems to be a lot more pressure to have a certain image to publicize that to the world on social media. My sorority in college was very low-key and we did our thing without concern about broadcasting it widely. That has been a huge shift and reason I am much more skeptical of these organizations in their current state.

It is interesting. In late 90’s at a Big 10, our version was dressing skimpy and changing lyrics to popular songs to go serenade at fraternities. The goal was to have them like you as a house and then invite you to a “mixer” where the two houses would have a party together at the fraternity. It was a big deal for your status which houses you had mixers with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in one, very active on Panhellenic board, husband was also in IFC. There are many pros and cons. I think it elicits strong reactions due to the immaturity of “sorry you didn’t get a bid” type of comments. Some Greeks don’t seem to comprehend that it is very unappealing for very valid reasons to some people. I am glad mine aren’t interested despite having an overall positive experience. I do understand why others are excited about it, it can be a lot of fun and friends for a lifetime.

Can you elaborate on this?

I credit it with gaining confidence and leadership opportunities, but the day to day was not conducive to what I would want for kids. Rushing is vapid, focus was on partying many days of week, hazing, learning was secondary to Greek lifestyle and being a top house on campus. My son is way too academic and focused, wouldn’t appeal. My daughter who could possibly be interested, I’d rather she focus on more productive things than hair, makeup. clothing, parties and tik toks. Yes, they do good things too, but the outward appearances in all aspects of life is the focus. That just doesn’t jive with my adult sensibilities anymore. I do understand houses and campuses differ on norms.

It sure doesn't sound like you understand that at all. You're generalizing to the nth degree.

The PP asked for my opinion based on my experience and I shared it.

Oh, really? They had tic tok back in your day? How remarkable!

I ma very confused by your responses? I am not seeking yo be combative. I stated it is superficial, showed in different ways then versus tik toks now. I am glad you are pro-Greek, I understand why many love it. I did too when I was in it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in one, very active on Panhellenic board, husband was also in IFC. There are many pros and cons. I think it elicits strong reactions due to the immaturity of “sorry you didn’t get a bid” type of comments. Some Greeks don’t seem to comprehend that it is very unappealing for very valid reasons to some people. I am glad mine aren’t interested despite having an overall positive experience. I do understand why others are excited about it, it can be a lot of fun and friends for a lifetime.

Can you elaborate on this?

I credit it with gaining confidence and leadership opportunities, but the day to day was not conducive to what I would want for kids. Rushing is vapid, focus was on partying many days of week, hazing, learning was secondary to Greek lifestyle and being a top house on campus. My son is way too academic and focused, wouldn’t appeal. My daughter who could possibly be interested, I’d rather she focus on more productive things than hair, makeup. clothing, parties and tik toks. Yes, they do good things too, but the outward appearances in all aspects of life is the focus. That just doesn’t jive with my adult sensibilities anymore. I do understand houses and campuses differ on norms.

It sure doesn't sound like you understand that at all. You're generalizing to the nth degree.

The PP asked for my opinion based on my experience and I shared it.

Oh, really? They had tic tok back in your day? How remarkable!

Damn, what is your problem, PP? The poster you are responding to gave a thoughtful opinion about the pros & cons of Greek life based on her own experience and what she’s observing. You seem hellbent on tearing it all down because it’s not in line with your thinking. Get a grip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I went to a medium-sized public college and were both involved in Greek life. However, I feel like a lot has changed with addition of social media, especially when it comes to sororities. There just seems to be a lot more pressure to have a certain image to publicize that to the world on social media. My sorority in college was very low-key and we did our thing without concern about broadcasting it widely. That has been a huge shift and reason I am much more skeptical of these organizations in their current state.

It is interesting. In late 90’s at a Big 10, our version was dressing skimpy and changing lyrics to popular songs to go serenade at fraternities. The goal was to have them like you as a house and then invite you to a “mixer” where the two houses would have a party together at the fraternity. It was a big deal for your status which houses you had mixers with.

That is still the main draw/benefit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in one, very active on Panhellenic board, husband was also in IFC. There are many pros and cons. I think it elicits strong reactions due to the immaturity of “sorry you didn’t get a bid” type of comments. Some Greeks don’t seem to comprehend that it is very unappealing for very valid reasons to some people. I am glad mine aren’t interested despite having an overall positive experience. I do understand why others are excited about it, it can be a lot of fun and friends for a lifetime.

Can you elaborate on this?

I credit it with gaining confidence and leadership opportunities, but the day to day was not conducive to what I would want for kids. Rushing is vapid, focus was on partying many days of week, hazing, learning was secondary to Greek lifestyle and being a top house on campus. My son is way too academic and focused, wouldn’t appeal. My daughter who could possibly be interested, I’d rather she focus on more productive things than hair, makeup. clothing, parties and tik toks. Yes, they do good things too, but the outward appearances in all aspects of life is the focus. That just doesn’t jive with my adult sensibilities anymore. I do understand houses and campuses differ on norms.

It sure doesn't sound like you understand that at all. You're generalizing to the nth degree.

The PP asked for my opinion based on my experience and I shared it.

Oh, really? They had tic tok back in your day? How remarkable!

I ma very confused by your responses? I am not seeking yo be combative. I stated it is superficial, showed in different ways then versus tik toks now. I am glad you are pro-Greek, I understand why many love it. I did too when I was in it.

Sorry for catching you in a lie. You basically bashed the entire system, then pretended you were only relaying your personal experience when I called you out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Any mention of going Greek on this forum is always a trigger. Why is that? Why do people care so much? I mean, if it's not your thing, great, but why judge so harshly when somebody else does it?

The ugly judgments I have observed going on in sororities is harsh. I think it's just mirroring that.

[Anonymous]

NP here. My kids were in college to prepare for the adult world. Greek life seems juvenile, delaying adulthood. As a parent we looked closely at stats of Greek life on various campuses and were ok, with the college as a choice, if Greek participation didn't exceed 20%.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in one, very active on Panhellenic board, husband was also in IFC. There are many pros and cons. I think it elicits strong reactions due to the immaturity of “sorry you didn’t get a bid” type of comments. Some Greeks don’t seem to comprehend that it is very unappealing for very valid reasons to some people. I am glad mine aren’t interested despite having an overall positive experience. I do understand why others are excited about it, it can be a lot of fun and friends for a lifetime.

Can you elaborate on this?

I credit it with gaining confidence and leadership opportunities, but the day to day was not conducive to what I would want for kids. Rushing is vapid, focus was on partying many days of week, hazing, learning was secondary to Greek lifestyle and being a top house on campus. My son is way too academic and focused, wouldn’t appeal. My daughter who could possibly be interested, I’d rather she focus on more productive things than hair, makeup. clothing, parties and tik toks. Yes, they do good things too, but the outward appearances in all aspects of life is the focus. That just doesn’t jive with my adult sensibilities anymore. I do understand houses and campuses differ on norms.

It sure doesn't sound like you understand that at all. You're generalizing to the nth degree.

The PP asked for my opinion based on my experience and I shared it.

Oh, really? They had tic tok back in your day? How remarkable!

I ma very confused by your responses? I am not seeking yo be combative. I stated it is superficial, showed in different ways then versus tik toks now. I am glad you are pro-Greek, I understand why many love it. I did too when I was in it.

Sorry for catching you in a lie. You basically bashed the entire system, then pretended you were only relaying your personal experience when I called you out.

Not going to even bother responding further. Perhaps you are young, a lie? Glad the other readers seemed to be able to grasp that I offered pros and cons based on my experiences, and everyone can take it for whatever it is worth to them.

[Anonymous]

Both my kids are in frats for primarily what I would call practical reasons.

Kid 1 is at a city school where you have to live off campus jr and sr year and the frat is much cheaper (and well located) than any other housing option by like 50%.

Kid 2 for fairly similar reasons but mainly that the frat house is equivalent price but so much nicer and with much better food than normal on campus housing.

They like the friends they are making and for one it is a “top” house which hopefully provides strong networking. They are at schools where the parties aren’t really exclusive for anyone or any house…literally anyone at the school can attend (except for their own formals) and do.

[Anonymous]

Kid pledging right now. Loves it!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in one, very active on Panhellenic board, husband was also in IFC. There are many pros and cons. I think it elicits strong reactions due to the immaturity of “sorry you didn’t get a bid” type of comments. Some Greeks don’t seem to comprehend that it is very unappealing for very valid reasons to some people. I am glad mine aren’t interested despite having an overall positive experience. I do understand why others are excited about it, it can be a lot of fun and friends for a lifetime.

Can you elaborate on this?

I credit it with gaining confidence and leadership opportunities, but the day to day was not conducive to what I would want for kids. Rushing is vapid, focus was on partying many days of week, hazing, learning was secondary to Greek lifestyle and being a top house on campus. My son is way too academic and focused, wouldn’t appeal. My daughter who could possibly be interested, I’d rather she focus on more productive things than hair, makeup. clothing, parties and tik toks. Yes, they do good things too, but the outward appearances in all aspects of life is the focus. That just doesn’t jive with my adult sensibilities anymore. I do understand houses and campuses differ on norms.

It sure doesn't sound like you understand that at all. You're generalizing to the nth degree.

The PP asked for my opinion based on my experience and I shared it.

Oh, really? They had tic tok back in your day? How remarkable!

I ma very confused by your responses? I am not seeking yo be combative. I stated it is superficial, showed in different ways then versus tik toks now. I am glad you are pro-Greek, I understand why many love it. I did too when I was in it.

Sorry for catching you in a lie. You basically bashed the entire system, then pretended you were only relaying your personal experience when I called you out.

Not going to even bother responding further. Perhaps you are young, a lie? Glad the other readers seemed to be able to grasp that I offered pros and cons based on my experiences, and everyone can take it for whatever it is worth to them.

NP. Classy response, and I have appreciated your perspective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in one, very active on Panhellenic board, husband was also in IFC. There are many pros and cons. I think it elicits strong reactions due to the immaturity of “sorry you didn’t get a bid” type of comments. Some Greeks don’t seem to comprehend that it is very unappealing for very valid reasons to some people. I am glad mine aren’t interested despite having an overall positive experience. I do understand why others are excited about it, it can be a lot of fun and friends for a lifetime.

Can you elaborate on this?

I credit it with gaining confidence and leadership opportunities, but the day to day was not conducive to what I would want for kids. Rushing is vapid, focus was on partying many days of week, hazing, learning was secondary to Greek lifestyle and being a top house on campus. My son is way too academic and focused, wouldn’t appeal. My daughter who could possibly be interested, I’d rather she focus on more productive things than hair, makeup. clothing, parties and tik toks. Yes, they do good things too, but the outward appearances in all aspects of life is the focus. That just doesn’t jive with my adult sensibilities anymore. I do understand houses and campuses differ on norms.

It sure doesn't sound like you understand that at all. You're generalizing to the nth degree.

The PP asked for my opinion based on my experience and I shared it.

Oh, really? They had tic tok back in your day? How remarkable!

I ma very confused by your responses? I am not seeking yo be combative. I stated it is superficial, showed in different ways then versus tik toks now. I am glad you are pro-Greek, I understand why many love it. I did too when I was in it.

Sorry for catching you in a lie. You basically bashed the entire system, then pretended you were only relaying your personal experience when I called you out.

Not going to even bother responding further. Perhaps you are young, a lie? Glad the other readers seemed to be able to grasp that I offered pros and cons based on my experiences, and everyone can take it for whatever it is worth to them.

NP. Classy response, and I have appreciated your perspective.

+1 You responded in good faith to OP’s request for rational discussion only for OP to offer unhinged responses. Clearly OP wasn’t actually looking for discussion but only wants to continue the “sorry you didn’t get a bid”-style responses.