PSA: No one wants you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:While some of this may be delusion/main character syndrome on OP's part, I've witnessed this behavior. Both types: the man who is obviously interested/staring, gets caught, and then does a "soft blame" and says some kind of "let's go find mom" to deflect from his rudeness and project it onto the person he was oogling, and the overprotective/overinvested wife who is on regular border patrol around her spouse at all times, assuming everyone in the vicinity wants a piece (probably because she knows he'll give it).

I dress to depress so it's rarely me being targeted for the attention. OP, you might try the same.

Yeah, doesn't really happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hear you OP. I introduced myself to a dad standing next to me at DD's class event, and the mom came out of nowhere and just stood between us. No hello, no smile. Dead.

No one wants you, and no one wants your husband.

He might have cheated before. Hence the wife’s insecurity

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:While some of this may be delusion/main character syndrome on OP's part, I've witnessed this behavior. Both types: the man who is obviously interested/staring, gets caught, and then does a "soft blame" and says some kind of "let's go find mom" to deflect from his rudeness and project it onto the person he was oogling, and the overprotective/overinvested wife who is on regular border patrol around her spouse at all times, assuming everyone in the vicinity wants a piece (probably because she knows he'll give it).

I dress to depress so it's rarely me being targeted for the attention. OP, you might try the same.

Just because a few of these people exist doesn't mean every 40-something male in the area is like that. I'm totally frumpy, so maybe it's just me, but I've never run into a guy like this. I have seen one woman in our social circles who was a total flirt - though she didn't mean anything by it - and seen the guys who ate it up (and thought less of them for doing so), but that behavior required both people to be interested in the casual flirtation. None of those guys were oogling any of the other moms, even some very attractive ones. And the flirtation fell flat with the guys who deflected it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's wrong with you???

You're projecting. The poor man wasn't thinking about you. You have main character syndrome, poor deluded one.

+1

[Anonymous]

OP, the part of your post that resonates with me is: socially, you can quickly tell, probably immediately, if a man is comfortable with women. Who aren't flirting with them. I'm guessing they likely had sisters. They can talk to a woman in an unimportant, insignificant, but friendly way. And be relaxed.

[Anonymous]

Man who goes shopping with his kids here. "Let's go find Mommy" I do use.. but it's so we can go find Mommy, not to ward off some supposed cougar in the same aisle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait till you are in your fifties and become completely invisible. Getting old is hard, but it has its perks. Try to focus on those. Like not giving sh!t what everyone thinks. They can't see you anyway

It's been awesome. I love being post menopausal and invisible to men, it's incredibly freeing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mid 40s woman here and I need to say this out loud. No one wants you. I’m not sure if it’s all the views you get of yourself on Zoom all day or that your marriage is strained so everyone seems like a fresh piece of meat, but why does every 40-50 something think we want them?

I’ve been in the grocery store walking down the aisles searching for cereal and then the dad with a kid in tow needs to loudly announce “let’s go find mommy”. I’m not following you, I don’t want you. I’m finding stuff on my list. And yes, sometimes I hug a male friend who is part of a couple we have known for 15 years. It’s doesn’t mean I want him.

I can joke and be friendly, doesn’t mean I want you. I can talk to a dad at a school event without my husband, I don’t want you.

Anyone else feel relationships at this age are so hyper sexualized? I seriously don’t get it. Everyone feels so insecure. End of rant.

You have issues. you’re sour because no one wants YOU!

[Anonymous]

Op, the question is why would you care? Are you insecure about being single? You seem to be into creating drama and that’s actually more likely why they are steering clear. Ask yourself why you might be seeking attention or affirmation. Everyone deserves self respect.

[Anonymous]

I’ve definitely experienced this one, but more so with the dads in sports team circles.

What I find works is to beat them to the punch by throwing “your wife” into the conversation a lot. Even though “the wife” and I are friends… so I know her name and could easily say “Jen told me. . . “

It really throws them off. They usually take a step or two back soon thereafter… which seems to support OPs hypothesis.

And yes the culprits are usually the less attractive Dads.

[Anonymous]

To think that OP is walking among us, getting entirely the wrong idea about everything.

Wow.

[Anonymous]

I hope your day gets better, op.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hear you OP. I introduced myself to a dad standing next to me at DD's class event, and the mom came out of nowhere and just stood between us. No hello, no smile. Dead.

No one wants you, and no one wants your husband.

He might have cheated before. Hence the wife’s insecurity

Or maybe he was rubbing his head and tugging his ear so his wife knew to come over and shut down the painfully boring and awkward conversation other Mom was attempting to start.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 45, my DH is 47. I have literally never gotten the impression that other men think I'm after them, or that my DH is looking at other women.

OP, it sounds like maybe you are the one hyper sexualizing these situations?

No she’s not. Most husbands hit on their wives attractive female friends. Men also hit on their own friends’ wives

You need to up the caliber of men that you spend time with. No, “most” husbands don’t do this. The fact that you think this is normal is alarming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hear you OP. I introduced myself to a dad standing next to me at DD's class event, and the mom came out of nowhere and just stood between us. No hello, no smile. Dead.

No one wants you, and no one wants your husband.

Omg yes this. Or like if you’re sitting and talking to a guy at some event and then his wife or whatever comes over, sits next to him, puts her hand on his leg. So insecure!!! It’s always women who (obviously) don’t know me, and I’m sure I’ll get gaslit for saying this, but it has happened more with Southern women who haven’t socially been around many people with my EXOTIC looks 🙄🙄🙄 Like just calm down