Parents of boys who became incels

[Anonymous]

I mean, we don't have to guess. There's plenty of research about this.

One unlocked study: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1077801220981154?icid=int.sj-abstract.similar-articles.1

Gender-based shooters are more likely to have experienced substance abuse, to have perpetrated DV, and to have children.

[Anonymous]

This is really just a question of "what factors contribute to radicalization" and the literature shows that the factors are similar whether the radicalization is religious extremism, white supremacy, or gender-based violence.

From the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry:

https://www.aacap.org/AACAP/Families_and_Youth/Facts_for_Families/FFF-Guide/Online_Radicalization-143.aspx#:~:text=Teen%20boys%20who%20spend%20large,through%20social%20media%20and%20forums.

Radicalization is based on the idea of “us” vs “them,” creating a sense of belonging to a specific group in contrast to outsiders. The “in group” is typically seen as right, righteous, and true, in direct contrast to the alien or deviant “out group.” Adolescents are at risk because they tend to question the status quo, experiment with points of view and identity, and place high value on social approval and relationships, including in online communities. Teen boys who spend large amounts of time socializing and discussing politics online are most vulnerable. Other risk factors include isolation, family separation, mental illness, bullying, and trauma.

Adolescents increasingly seek social connection through social media and forums. Online communities are often organized around shared beliefs, forming “echo chambers”, which are environments where a person only encounters opinions that are similar to their own. Social media algorithms often deliver progressively extreme content based on user interest. Relative anonymity afforded by the internet makes engagement seem less risky.

Recruiters for online radicalized groups have been known to preferentially target adolescents through video gaming and social media. They may start by using slurs or making radical statements during online gaming, forwarding links of propaganda videos or websites to those who respond. Such sites often initially appear harmless but feature hidden extremist rhetoric.

It is important for parents and caregivers to be able to identify youth and young adults who may be at risk for radicalization. Warning signs may include the following:

Social withdrawal
Increasing time spent socializing online
Development of new, strict, or radical beliefs
Use of “in-group” language, symbols, and images
Mental health issues including depression, suicidal thoughts, or substance use.

In order to prevent involvement with extremist groups, parents should:

Openly discuss social and political ideas with children and teens
Promote social contact with people of different backgrounds
Encourage regular in-person social connection with peers
Limit and monitor use of screen and social media
Discuss sources of bias, including racial and gender bias
Suggest movies, programs and stories featuring main characters of different backgrounds and groups
Maintain open conversations about online habits and experiences
Be familiar with the social media platforms your child uses

[Anonymous]

Boys are struggling more than girls in the US today. But, statistically that’s mostly because good blue collar jobs have gone away and more boys than girls are not cut out for four year college.

Everyone wants to talk about psychology, toxic masculinity and social media when, etc etc but in fact, ‘it’s the economy, stupid.’ So if your boy is going off the rails you need to give up on college and get him an apprenticeship at a great trade union. And we need to support union jobs and living wages.

In fact more colleges should have a practical model like they do with nursing where half time is spent apprenticing in a trade but for hvac, construction, electricians, etc. Every state school should offer that.

[Anonymous]

Get rid of smart phones and iPads and anything else that gives them unrestricted internet access.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get rid of smart phones and iPads and anything else that gives them unrestricted internet access.

Won't this also lead to social exclusion?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a problem that the entire discussion in this thread is premised on an assumption that boys are almost inherently at risk of going off the rails and becoming bad. That assumption, which unfortunately has becoming deeply rooted in culture and especially in schools due to liberal political preferences, is the key driver for the problem you are worried about. Right now, girls are boosted and treated like the future at every turn, even in implausible situations. Look at the Super Bowl ads for one example, where, among other things, there was an ad where a minority female implausibly bested the entire men's football team (who were portrayed as hateful ogres throughout). Until you all learn to respect and value boys, expect bad results. Toxic femininity is real and a problem.

Spoken like a true incel. Blaming it all on women with NO accountability for men and boys. I can't take you seriously.

What can parents do to help boys in this new world where women and minorities are rightfully represented. The answer isn't to diminish women or minorities. I want to learn how to help my son coexist and thrive in this new world. I want to avoid prevent him from becoming an incel and recluse.

I appreciate some of the suggestions here regarding chores, etc. Keep those coming.

You are toxic. You treat boys like criminals in waiting while doing everything you can to tell girls they are awesome and can do anything (especially since the world goes out of its way to support them). Then you blame boys for being put off. The problem is you.

PP was right. You do speak like a true incel. The moment you have to relinquish some power to women you feel threatened. For millennia women and girls have been treated like less than but that was all ok, right? Hell, we had to fight for a right to vote while you think that was just inherently yours. So forgive us while the pendulum swings our way for a change.

You're a lost cause, and you will reap what you sow. Look at the media today honestly. It is frankly rah-rah women and anti-male all the time. You can make the world fair and provide equal opportunity without tearing down boys. You don't want to do that, however.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a problem that the entire discussion in this thread is premised on an assumption that boys are almost inherently at risk of going off the rails and becoming bad. That assumption, which unfortunately has becoming deeply rooted in culture and especially in schools due to liberal political preferences, is the key driver for the problem you are worried about. Right now, girls are boosted and treated like the future at every turn, even in implausible situations. Look at the Super Bowl ads for one example, where, among other things, there was an ad where a minority female implausibly bested the entire men's football team (who were portrayed as hateful ogres throughout). Until you all learn to respect and value boys, expect bad results. Toxic femininity is real and a problem.

Spoken like a true incel. Blaming it all on women with NO accountability for men and boys. I can't take you seriously.

What can parents do to help boys in this new world where women and minorities are rightfully represented. The answer isn't to diminish women or minorities. I want to learn how to help my son coexist and thrive in this new world. I want to avoid prevent him from becoming an incel and recluse.

I appreciate some of the suggestions here regarding chores, etc. Keep those coming.

You are toxic. You treat boys like criminals in waiting while doing everything you can to tell girls they are awesome and can do anything (especially since the world goes out of its way to support them). Then you blame boys for being put off. The problem is you.

PP was right. You do speak like a true incel. The moment you have to relinquish some power to women you feel threatened. For millennia women and girls have been treated like less than but that was all ok, right? Hell, we had to fight for a right to vote while you think that was just inherently yours. So forgive us while the pendulum swings our way for a change.

You're a lost cause, and you will reap what you sow. Look at the media today honestly. It is frankly rah-rah women and anti-male all the time. You can make the world fair and provide equal opportunity without tearing down boys. You don't want to do that, however.

Just because we are championing girls in areas they've never been championed before, it doesn't mean we are tearing down boys. Your insecurity and hate for women is what's making you an incel. Men still hold most of the positions of power so cry me a river.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a problem that the entire discussion in this thread is premised on an assumption that boys are almost inherently at risk of going off the rails and becoming bad. That assumption, which unfortunately has becoming deeply rooted in culture and especially in schools due to liberal political preferences, is the key driver for the problem you are worried about. Right now, girls are boosted and treated like the future at every turn, even in implausible situations. Look at the Super Bowl ads for one example, where, among other things, there was an ad where a minority female implausibly bested the entire men's football team (who were portrayed as hateful ogres throughout). Until you all learn to respect and value boys, expect bad results. Toxic femininity is real and a problem.

Spoken like a true incel. Blaming it all on women with NO accountability for men and boys. I can't take you seriously.

What can parents do to help boys in this new world where women and minorities are rightfully represented. The answer isn't to diminish women or minorities. I want to learn how to help my son coexist and thrive in this new world. I want to avoid prevent him from becoming an incel and recluse.

I appreciate some of the suggestions here regarding chores, etc. Keep those coming.

You are toxic. You treat boys like criminals in waiting while doing everything you can to tell girls they are awesome and can do anything (especially since the world goes out of its way to support them). Then you blame boys for being put off. The problem is you.

PP was right. You do speak like a true incel. The moment you have to relinquish some power to women you feel threatened. For millennia women and girls have been treated like less than but that was all ok, right? Hell, we had to fight for a right to vote while you think that was just inherently yours. So forgive us while the pendulum swings our way for a change.

You're a lost cause, and you will reap what you sow. Look at the media today honestly. It is frankly rah-rah women and anti-male all the time. You can make the world fair and provide equal opportunity without tearing down boys. You don't want to do that, however.

Just because we are championing girls in areas they've never been championed before, it doesn't mean we are tearing down boys. Your insecurity and hate for women is what's making you an incel. Men still hold most of the positions of power so cry me a river.

It's nice that you think that. However, in reality, the messaging is distinctly anti-male, even in traditionally male places. Here is the ad from the Super Bowl I mentioned above. The girl is portrayed as an incredible hero. The boys are hateful cretins who aren't even good at what they claim to do.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GsqhcNnxfv4

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a problem that the entire discussion in this thread is premised on an assumption that boys are almost inherently at risk of going off the rails and becoming bad. That assumption, which unfortunately has becoming deeply rooted in culture and especially in schools due to liberal political preferences, is the key driver for the problem you are worried about. Right now, girls are boosted and treated like the future at every turn, even in implausible situations. Look at the Super Bowl ads for one example, where, among other things, there was an ad where a minority female implausibly bested the entire men's football team (who were portrayed as hateful ogres throughout). Until you all learn to respect and value boys, expect bad results. Toxic femininity is real and a problem.

Spoken like a true incel. Blaming it all on women with NO accountability for men and boys. I can't take you seriously.

What can parents do to help boys in this new world where women and minorities are rightfully represented. The answer isn't to diminish women or minorities. I want to learn how to help my son coexist and thrive in this new world. I want to avoid prevent him from becoming an incel and recluse.

I appreciate some of the suggestions here regarding chores, etc. Keep those coming.

You are toxic. You treat boys like criminals in waiting while doing everything you can to tell girls they are awesome and can do anything (especially since the world goes out of its way to support them). Then you blame boys for being put off. The problem is you.

PP was right. You do speak like a true incel. The moment you have to relinquish some power to women you feel threatened. For millennia women and girls have been treated like less than but that was all ok, right? Hell, we had to fight for a right to vote while you think that was just inherently yours. So forgive us while the pendulum swings our way for a change.

You're a lost cause, and you will reap what you sow. Look at the media today honestly. It is frankly rah-rah women and anti-male all the time. You can make the world fair and provide equal opportunity without tearing down boys. You don't want to do that, however.

Just because we are championing girls in areas they've never been championed before, it doesn't mean we are tearing down boys. Your insecurity and hate for women is what's making you an incel. Men still hold most of the positions of power so cry me a river.

It's nice that you think that. However, in reality, the messaging is distinctly anti-male, even in traditionally male places. Here is the ad from the Super Bowl I mentioned above. The girl is portrayed as an incredible hero. The boys are hateful cretins who aren't even good at what they claim to do.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GsqhcNnxfv4

Now please show me how many CEOs are men, how many politicians, scientists, law firm equity partners. What are you doing to make sure that women get equal representation and opportunities?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a problem that the entire discussion in this thread is premised on an assumption that boys are almost inherently at risk of going off the rails and becoming bad. That assumption, which unfortunately has becoming deeply rooted in culture and especially in schools due to liberal political preferences, is the key driver for the problem you are worried about. Right now, girls are boosted and treated like the future at every turn, even in implausible situations. Look at the Super Bowl ads for one example, where, among other things, there was an ad where a minority female implausibly bested the entire men's football team (who were portrayed as hateful ogres throughout). Until you all learn to respect and value boys, expect bad results. Toxic femininity is real and a problem.

Spoken like a true incel. Blaming it all on women with NO accountability for men and boys. I can't take you seriously.

What can parents do to help boys in this new world where women and minorities are rightfully represented. The answer isn't to diminish women or minorities. I want to learn how to help my son coexist and thrive in this new world. I want to avoid prevent him from becoming an incel and recluse.

I appreciate some of the suggestions here regarding chores, etc. Keep those coming.

You are toxic. You treat boys like criminals in waiting while doing everything you can to tell girls they are awesome and can do anything (especially since the world goes out of its way to support them). Then you blame boys for being put off. The problem is you.

PP was right. You do speak like a true incel. The moment you have to relinquish some power to women you feel threatened. For millennia women and girls have been treated like less than but that was all ok, right? Hell, we had to fight for a right to vote while you think that was just inherently yours. So forgive us while the pendulum swings our way for a change.

You're a lost cause, and you will reap what you sow. Look at the media today honestly. It is frankly rah-rah women and anti-male all the time. You can make the world fair and provide equal opportunity without tearing down boys. You don't want to do that, however.

Just because we are championing girls in areas they've never been championed before, it doesn't mean we are tearing down boys. Your insecurity and hate for women is what's making you an incel. Men still hold most of the positions of power so cry me a river.

It's nice that you think that. However, in reality, the messaging is distinctly anti-male, even in traditionally male places. Here is the ad from the Super Bowl I mentioned above. The girl is portrayed as an incredible hero. The boys are hateful cretins who aren't even good at what they claim to do.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GsqhcNnxfv4

Now please show me how many CEOs are men, how many politicians, scientists, law firm equity partners. What are you doing to make sure that women get equal representation and opportunities?

Non-responsive. You asked about incels. I told you it is problem of culture denigrating boys, and boys checking out because of it. You claimed that the culture does no such thing. I showed you an ad from one of the biggest media events of the year demonstrating otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Boys need
A mom at home.
Almost zero screen time.
Male and female friends, in real life.
A good education, either at home or in a private school.
Lots of fresh air every day.

If you're not doing that, you're gonna have a bad time. Bottom line.

What's the dad's role? You left that out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a problem that the entire discussion in this thread is premised on an assumption that boys are almost inherently at risk of going off the rails and becoming bad. That assumption, which unfortunately has becoming deeply rooted in culture and especially in schools due to liberal political preferences, is the key driver for the problem you are worried about. Right now, girls are boosted and treated like the future at every turn, even in implausible situations. Look at the Super Bowl ads for one example, where, among other things, there was an ad where a minority female implausibly bested the entire men's football team (who were portrayed as hateful ogres throughout). Until you all learn to respect and value boys, expect bad results. Toxic femininity is real and a problem.

Spoken like a true incel. Blaming it all on women with NO accountability for men and boys. I can't take you seriously.

What can parents do to help boys in this new world where women and minorities are rightfully represented. The answer isn't to diminish women or minorities. I want to learn how to help my son coexist and thrive in this new world. I want to avoid prevent him from becoming an incel and recluse.

I appreciate some of the suggestions here regarding chores, etc. Keep those coming.

You are toxic. You treat boys like criminals in waiting while doing everything you can to tell girls they are awesome and can do anything (especially since the world goes out of its way to support them). Then you blame boys for being put off. The problem is you.

PP was right. You do speak like a true incel. The moment you have to relinquish some power to women you feel threatened. For millennia women and girls have been treated like less than but that was all ok, right? Hell, we had to fight for a right to vote while you think that was just inherently yours. So forgive us while the pendulum swings our way for a change.

You're a lost cause, and you will reap what you sow. Look at the media today honestly. It is frankly rah-rah women and anti-male all the time. You can make the world fair and provide equal opportunity without tearing down boys. You don't want to do that, however.

Just because we are championing girls in areas they've never been championed before, it doesn't mean we are tearing down boys. Your insecurity and hate for women is what's making you an incel. Men still hold most of the positions of power so cry me a river.

It's nice that you think that. However, in reality, the messaging is distinctly anti-male, even in traditionally male places. Here is the ad from the Super Bowl I mentioned above. The girl is portrayed as an incredible hero. The boys are hateful cretins who aren't even good at what they claim to do.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GsqhcNnxfv4

Now please show me how many CEOs are men, how many politicians, scientists, law firm equity partners. What are you doing to make sure that women get equal representation and opportunities?

Non-responsive. You asked about incels. I told you it is problem of culture denigrating boys, and boys checking out because of it. You claimed that the culture does no such thing. I showed you an ad from one of the biggest media events of the year demonstrating otherwise.

No, it's very responsive. You just choose to feel like the victim and not see the reality of the situation. I can show you a million videos from Andrew Tate, Joe Rogan, and a million other men who feel just like you with no basis in reality. Men are not victims. Stop perpetuating the idea that you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a problem that the entire discussion in this thread is premised on an assumption that boys are almost inherently at risk of going off the rails and becoming bad. That assumption, which unfortunately has becoming deeply rooted in culture and especially in schools due to liberal political preferences, is the key driver for the problem you are worried about. Right now, girls are boosted and treated like the future at every turn, even in implausible situations. Look at the Super Bowl ads for one example, where, among other things, there was an ad where a minority female implausibly bested the entire men's football team (who were portrayed as hateful ogres throughout). Until you all learn to respect and value boys, expect bad results. Toxic femininity is real and a problem.

Spoken like a true incel. Blaming it all on women with NO accountability for men and boys. I can't take you seriously.

What can parents do to help boys in this new world where women and minorities are rightfully represented. The answer isn't to diminish women or minorities. I want to learn how to help my son coexist and thrive in this new world. I want to avoid prevent him from becoming an incel and recluse.

I appreciate some of the suggestions here regarding chores, etc. Keep those coming.

You are toxic. You treat boys like criminals in waiting while doing everything you can to tell girls they are awesome and can do anything (especially since the world goes out of its way to support them). Then you blame boys for being put off. The problem is you.

PP was right. You do speak like a true incel. The moment you have to relinquish some power to women you feel threatened. For millennia women and girls have been treated like less than but that was all ok, right? Hell, we had to fight for a right to vote while you think that was just inherently yours. So forgive us while the pendulum swings our way for a change.

You're a lost cause, and you will reap what you sow. Look at the media today honestly. It is frankly rah-rah women and anti-male all the time. You can make the world fair and provide equal opportunity without tearing down boys. You don't want to do that, however.

Just because we are championing girls in areas they've never been championed before, it doesn't mean we are tearing down boys. Your insecurity and hate for women is what's making you an incel. Men still hold most of the positions of power so cry me a river.

It's nice that you think that. However, in reality, the messaging is distinctly anti-male, even in traditionally male places. Here is the ad from the Super Bowl I mentioned above. The girl is portrayed as an incredible hero. The boys are hateful cretins who aren't even good at what they claim to do.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GsqhcNnxfv4

Now please show me how many CEOs are men, how many politicians, scientists, law firm equity partners. What are you doing to make sure that women get equal representation and opportunities?

+1 please. Stop blaming women. Our society is still is mostly controlled by men. What are they doing about it? Nothing because as long as the elite men have the power, money and women, they don't care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a problem that the entire discussion in this thread is premised on an assumption that boys are almost inherently at risk of going off the rails and becoming bad. That assumption, which unfortunately has becoming deeply rooted in culture and especially in schools due to liberal political preferences, is the key driver for the problem you are worried about. Right now, girls are boosted and treated like the future at every turn, even in implausible situations. Look at the Super Bowl ads for one example, where, among other things, there was an ad where a minority female implausibly bested the entire men's football team (who were portrayed as hateful ogres throughout). Until you all learn to respect and value boys, expect bad results. Toxic femininity is real and a problem.

Spoken like a true incel. Blaming it all on women with NO accountability for men and boys. I can't take you seriously.

What can parents do to help boys in this new world where women and minorities are rightfully represented. The answer isn't to diminish women or minorities. I want to learn how to help my son coexist and thrive in this new world. I want to avoid prevent him from becoming an incel and recluse.

I appreciate some of the suggestions here regarding chores, etc. Keep those coming.

You are toxic. You treat boys like criminals in waiting while doing everything you can to tell girls they are awesome and can do anything (especially since the world goes out of its way to support them). Then you blame boys for being put off. The problem is you.

PP was right. You do speak like a true incel. The moment you have to relinquish some power to women you feel threatened. For millennia women and girls have been treated like less than but that was all ok, right? Hell, we had to fight for a right to vote while you think that was just inherently yours. So forgive us while the pendulum swings our way for a change.

The point is that the pendulum should not be swinging back and forth. We should be well balanced n the middle where neither gender is boosted or torn down. Why is that so difficult to comprehend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a problem that the entire discussion in this thread is premised on an assumption that boys are almost inherently at risk of going off the rails and becoming bad. That assumption, which unfortunately has becoming deeply rooted in culture and especially in schools due to liberal political preferences, is the key driver for the problem you are worried about. Right now, girls are boosted and treated like the future at every turn, even in implausible situations. Look at the Super Bowl ads for one example, where, among other things, there was an ad where a minority female implausibly bested the entire men's football team (who were portrayed as hateful ogres throughout). Until you all learn to respect and value boys, expect bad results. Toxic femininity is real and a problem.

Spoken like a true incel. Blaming it all on women with NO accountability for men and boys. I can't take you seriously.

What can parents do to help boys in this new world where women and minorities are rightfully represented. The answer isn't to diminish women or minorities. I want to learn how to help my son coexist and thrive in this new world. I want to avoid prevent him from becoming an incel and recluse.

I appreciate some of the suggestions here regarding chores, etc. Keep those coming.

You are toxic. You treat boys like criminals in waiting while doing everything you can to tell girls they are awesome and can do anything (especially since the world goes out of its way to support them). Then you blame boys for being put off. The problem is you.

PP was right. You do speak like a true incel. The moment you have to relinquish some power to women you feel threatened. For millennia women and girls have been treated like less than but that was all ok, right? Hell, we had to fight for a right to vote while you think that was just inherently yours. So forgive us while the pendulum swings our way for a change.

The point is that the pendulum should not be swinging back and forth. We should be well balanced n the middle where neither gender is boosted or torn down. Why is that so difficult to comprehend?

True, so why do men still have most of the power? Why did we have to fight for a basic right to vote? Why do men still want to control women's bodies? Why is it so difficult to comprehend that the pendulum is swinging in response to what men have done for millennia?