Do you say anything if visiting family are dressed inappropriately?

[Anonymous]

Yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We hosted family and friends over the weekend for an annual party at our vacation home. Not a snooty affair, everyone comes dressed in cozy business casual attire. My niece was not the only 17 to 20 year old, however, she was the only one wearing essentially a mini skirt, so short that my elderly mother saw her underwear when she reached down to grab something. You could feel guests looking at her and side-eying. We didn't say anything but I sort of regret not saying anything to her parents. That said, our children are younger, so I acknowledge I don't know how difficult it is to veto clothing choices on technically adult kids when you attend an event together.

Sit down and shut up you Bible thumping garbage.

This is a hard NO and stop judging what she wore. None of your dam business.

Who made you fashion queen? Who made you morality queen?

The world has a ton of real problems this is not one of them

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:According to Emily Post, the error here is on the host. Dress codes should be communicated clearly to guests well in advance of an event. If you wanted to specify skirts be of a certain length, you should have done so on the invitation. You did send a formal invitation, yes?

Post also says that attire should be appropriate to the occasion and setting. However, she is mostly focused on attire that would be considered disrespectful in a house of worship (for instance while attending a wedding or baptism) -- I suspect clothing in a private home would be given more leeway. Particularly if the host failed to specify a dress code that would give guests guidance on what to wear.

So no, it is not appropriate to comment negatively on your guests clothing. Good manners dictate that a gracious host will overlook this kind of faux pas.

Come on. Anyone and everyone of class knows that "in a private home" the dress code is "cozy business casual attire." This does not need to be specified on the invitation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did the invite specify the dress code?

If not, this is a hosting fail.

Op of course you say nothing. Did you really need to ask that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 44 and I wear mini skirts, OP. I know not to bend down with very short skirts, and I choose pencil minis so that when I walk up and down stairs, people can't see my underwear. In winter I wear fun tights with my skirts.

But a teen has to learn all this. It's NOT your place to remind her in front of guests. She will learn it, don't worry. And accidents happen sometimes - they're not anyone's fault. When someone has a wardrobe malfunction, your job is to pretend it never happened.

And unless you're incredibly conservative, I can't imagine people side-eyeing a woman wearing a mini skirt. Heck, *I* come from a somewhat conservative culture (East Asian), and I get complimented on my outfits by my MIL.

WTH is this?

I haven't worn a dress or a skirt in over 15 years and even I know a pencil mini is a pencil skirt that's short. You know how an A-line skirt goes wide as it goes down from the waist? A pencil skirt does not do that - it stays straight as it goes down from the waist.

No, a pencil skirt is a bit tighter at the hem. What you are describing is simply a skirt. A pencil mini would be both short and quite tight--not exactly office wear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Next time you need to make sure that everyone, teenagers included, understand that the strict dress code is “cozy business casual attire.” And that any revelation of having an actual body will be considered something worthy of judgment.

Ffs.

All the guests have been there before, including my niece and her family. It's not a strict dress code, of course, everyone just comes dressed relatively polished. Nobody has ever dressed like they're headed to some college nightclub.

You sound incredibly uptight OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your guests are rude if they're side eyeing a kid's mini skirt.

Exactly. And maybe even worse. No one should be "eyeing" this teenager at all. OP needs to stop worrying about this kid's clothing and start worrying about being in a family of creepers.

If someone bends over and shows their butt to all….its not the adults being creepers, it’s her being an exhibitionist. A creeper is someone who upskorts or looks through the crack in the bathroom door. Not someone minding their own business at the chip and dip table who unexpectedly gets an eye full of underwear.
Look, we all make wardrobe mistakes and I think most women have been there with realizing something is more revealing than they thought it was gojng to be. I’m not saying put her in the stocks, or even to say anything to her about it. But blaming adults just for being in the room when she’s running around wearing a long shirt and calling it a dress is taking it too far the other way.

The adult doesn’t need to then gossip to everyone that they saw her underwear when she bent over. That is rude and demeaning. Shame on the grandmother.

[Anonymous]

What is cozy business casual attire??? Are you all in Ralph Lauren? I am so confused

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your guests are rude if they're side eyeing a kid's mini skirt.

Exactly. And maybe even worse. No one should be "eyeing" this teenager at all. OP needs to stop worrying about this kid's clothing and start worrying about being in a family of creepers.

If someone bends over and shows their butt to all….its not the adults being creepers, it’s her being an exhibitionist. A creeper is someone who upskorts or looks through the crack in the bathroom door. Not someone minding their own business at the chip and dip table who unexpectedly gets an eye full of underwear.
Look, we all make wardrobe mistakes and I think most women have been there with realizing something is more revealing than they thought it was gojng to be. I’m not saying put her in the stocks, or even to say anything to her about it. But blaming adults just for being in the room when she’s running around wearing a long shirt and calling it a dress is taking it too far the other way.

The adult doesn’t need to then gossip to everyone that they saw her underwear when she bent over. That is rude and demeaning. Shame on the grandmother.

There was no gossiping to everyone. Elderly grandmother mentioned it to her own adult daughter. Doesn't sound like either woman said word one to the niece either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 44 and I wear mini skirts, OP. I know not to bend down with very short skirts, and I choose pencil minis so that when I walk up and down stairs, people can't see my underwear. In winter I wear fun tights with my skirts.

But a teen has to learn all this. It's NOT your place to remind her in front of guests. She will learn it, don't worry. And accidents happen sometimes - they're not anyone's fault. When someone has a wardrobe malfunction, your job is to pretend it never happened.

And unless you're incredibly conservative, I can't imagine people side-eyeing a woman wearing a mini skirt. Heck, *I* come from a somewhat conservative culture (East Asian), and I get complimented on my outfits by my MIL.

WTH is this?

I haven't worn a dress or a skirt in over 15 years and even I know a pencil mini is a pencil skirt that's short. You know how an A-line skirt goes wide as it goes down from the waist? A pencil skirt does not do that - it stays straight as it goes down from the waist.

No, a pencil skirt is a bit tighter at the hem. What you are describing is simply a skirt. A pencil mini would be both short and quite tight--not exactly office wear.

I'm the PP who wears them. You can wear a pencil skirt, and pencil minis, looser or tighter. Stop getting hung up on words. We're just talking general shape. The point is that with a pencil mini it's a bit safer to walk up the stairs without flashing everyone. That's all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your guests are rude if they're side eyeing a kid's mini skirt.

Exactly. And maybe even worse. No one should be "eyeing" this teenager at all. OP needs to stop worrying about this kid's clothing and start worrying about being in a family of creepers.

If someone bends over and shows their butt to all….its not the adults being creepers, it’s her being an exhibitionist. A creeper is someone who upskorts or looks through the crack in the bathroom door. Not someone minding their own business at the chip and dip table who unexpectedly gets an eye full of underwear.
Look, we all make wardrobe mistakes and I think most women have been there with realizing something is more revealing than they thought it was gojng to be. I’m not saying put her in the stocks, or even to say anything to her about it. But blaming adults just for being in the room when she’s running around wearing a long shirt and calling it a dress is taking it too far the other way.

The adult doesn’t need to then gossip to everyone that they saw her underwear when she bent over. That is rude and demeaning. Shame on the grandmother.

There was no gossiping to everyone. Elderly grandmother mentioned it to her own adult daughter. Doesn't sound like either woman said word one to the niece either.

There was no need to tell anyone.

[Anonymous]

Your party sounds like it sucks OP. If you don’t want to specify attire on the invitation, you can always say “Choose your and your childrens’ outfits wisely! Your hosts WILL be silently judging you. May the odds be ever in your favor.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your guests are rude if they're side eyeing a kid's mini skirt.

Exactly. And maybe even worse. No one should be "eyeing" this teenager at all. OP needs to stop worrying about this kid's clothing and start worrying about being in a family of creepers.

If someone bends over and shows their butt to all….its not the adults being creepers, it’s her being an exhibitionist. A creeper is someone who upskorts or looks through the crack in the bathroom door. Not someone minding their own business at the chip and dip table who unexpectedly gets an eye full of underwear.
Look, we all make wardrobe mistakes and I think most women have been there with realizing something is more revealing than they thought it was gojng to be. I’m not saying put her in the stocks, or even to say anything to her about it. But blaming adults just for being in the room when she’s running around wearing a long shirt and calling it a dress is taking it too far the other way.

The adult doesn’t need to then gossip to everyone that they saw her underwear when she bent over. That is rude and demeaning. Shame on the grandmother.

There was no gossiping to everyone. Elderly grandmother mentioned it to her own adult daughter. Doesn't sound like either woman said word one to the niece either.

There was no need to tell anyone.

You are blowing this out of proportion. Grandma can make an aside comment to her daughter that her grandchild's skirt is short enough to not provide coverage when bending.

Next you'll call grandma a creep and pedo for even noticing.

[Anonymous]

I think next year the niece should arrive in oversized, sloppy sweat pants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your guests are rude if they're side eyeing a kid's mini skirt.

Exactly. And maybe even worse. No one should be "eyeing" this teenager at all. OP needs to stop worrying about this kid's clothing and start worrying about being in a family of creepers.

If someone bends over and shows their butt to all….its not the adults being creepers, it’s her being an exhibitionist. A creeper is someone who upskorts or looks through the crack in the bathroom door. Not someone minding their own business at the chip and dip table who unexpectedly gets an eye full of underwear.
Look, we all make wardrobe mistakes and I think most women have been there with realizing something is more revealing than they thought it was gojng to be. I’m not saying put her in the stocks, or even to say anything to her about it. But blaming adults just for being in the room when she’s running around wearing a long shirt and calling it a dress is taking it too far the other way.

The adult doesn’t need to then gossip to everyone that they saw her underwear when she bent over. That is rude and demeaning. Shame on the grandmother.

There was no gossiping to everyone. Elderly grandmother mentioned it to her own adult daughter. Doesn't sound like either woman said word one to the niece either.

There was no need to tell anyone.

You are blowing this out of proportion. Grandma can make an aside comment to her daughter that her grandchild's skirt is short enough to not provide coverage when bending.

Next you'll call grandma a creep and pedo for even noticing.

+1