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Do you say anything if visiting family are dressed inappropriately?
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Anonymous
| We hosted family and friends over the weekend for an annual party at our vacation home. Not a snooty affair, everyone comes dressed in cozy business casual attire. My niece was not the only 17 to 20 year old, however, she was the only one wearing essentially a mini skirt, so short that my elderly mother saw her underwear when she reached down to grab something. You could feel guests looking at her and side-eying. We didn't say anything but I sort of regret not saying anything to her parents. That said, our children are younger, so I acknowledge I don't know how difficult it is to veto clothing choices on technically adult kids when you attend an event together. |
Anonymous
| No, you definitely don't say anything about this. |
Anonymous
| If it’s snowing and they are wearing a bathing suit I tell them they might get pneumonia. That is inappropriate. Miniskirts are literally 80 years old. Your grandmother probably wore one. Also if the teen was a male wearing bike shorts would you still care so much? |
Anonymous
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Not every observation needs to be voiced. What would you have accomplished by saying something, other than putting a stink on the day and making them feel unwelcome and judged by their host? Do you suppose they had a spare "cozy business casual" outfit in the car for her to change into?
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Anonymous
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What is "cozy business casual"?
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Anonymous
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Next time you need to make sure that everyone, teenagers included, understand that the strict dress code is “cozy business casual attire.” And that any revelation of having an actual body will be considered something worthy of judgment.
Ffs. |
Anonymous
| It would have been incredibly rude to say something. Have you never seen an adult revealing something by accident, like bending and you can see down their shirt or similar? It happens. Imagine chastising them about it. |
Anonymous
| Of course not, are you nuts?? |
Anonymous
| This has to be a troll. |
Anonymous
| Oh boy. Just wait till your kids are that age. Of course its not your place. |
Anonymous
| Your guests are rude if they're side eyeing a kid's mini skirt. |
Anonymous
That's what I want to know. OP, are you always this uptight? |
Anonymous
NP and my kids are that age and yes I would tell them they need to dress appropriate to the situation. This is something we have discussed through their childhood dressing appropriately for a situation and I haven’t had to tell them how to dress appropriately since they were much younger. |
Anonymous
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According to Emily Post, the error here is on the host. Dress codes should be communicated clearly to guests well in advance of an event. If you wanted to specify skirts be of a certain length, you should have done so on the invitation. You did send a formal invitation, yes?
Post also says that attire should be appropriate to the occasion and setting. However, she is mostly focused on attire that would be considered disrespectful in a house of worship (for instance while attending a wedding or baptism) -- I suspect clothing in a private home would be given more leeway. Particularly if the host failed to specify a dress code that would give guests guidance on what to wear. So no, it is not appropriate to comment negatively on your guests clothing. Good manners dictate that a gracious host will overlook this kind of faux pas. |
Anonymous
| A short skirt is the norm for 17-20 year olds. |