Do you say anything if visiting family are dressed inappropriately?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your guests are rude if they're side eyeing a kid's mini skirt.

Mini skirts so short that underwear shows are worn to attract attention. Therefore there is no judgment for people who notice. Don’t be ridiculous.

She was wearing underwear. Nobody saw anything. If she was visibly commando, that’s the only time anyone should take her aside.

No need to “take her aside” in either case because she already knows what her outfit reveals and she chose it on purpose to show off what it shows off. And you’re just supposed to deal.

It’s 2024. This is no longer the era of “don’t dress like a slut—it degrades you and it’s disrespectful to the host and your elders””.” This is the era of “you are a perv for noticing I’m dressed like a slut—stop slut-shaming me”

+1

I know this guy is whining but OMG YES! YOU’RE JUST SUPPOSED TO DEAL!

It’s easy. Men are so, so fragile and whiny. It’s just incredible to me every day how they function.

[Anonymous]

Only if it’s not weather appropriate / has safety concerns, like wearing shorts to ski, or not warm enough for a cold hike or wearing flip flops to a hike. Otherwise, I’d just provide guidelines like formal attire, or business casual before the event if it matters.

In your situation, I wouldn’t say anything, cause you’re not the headmistress at a catholic all girls school who measures skirt length with a ruler.

[Anonymous]

It's never nice to comment to anyone what they're wearing. She is not hurting you.

[Anonymous]

I disagree with you, OP. It sounds like this WAS a snooty affair.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you are jealous that your niece looks so much younger and prettier than you in her mini-skirt and she is stealing the attention from the men at the gathering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"I can see your panties." when she bent down.

Who the hell are you people?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
But... a mini skirt is an appropriate choice for a friends and relatives casual party.

Are you part of a particular religious community, OP, that mini skirts shock you that much?!?!

I truly don't get it. Wardrobe malfunctions should be separated from the choice of wearing normal clothes, such as mini skirts.

No, it’s really not. And they’ve been to this party nearly ten years in a row. They and she knows nobody has worn such a skirt. People are dressed for the country club or church, not a Vegas nightclub.

So you’d already made up your mind that you were right, and you wasted everyone’s time with the post. Got it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a healthy body weight and wore leggings with a mid length sweater to a holiday dinner at my aunt’s house. My overweight cousins body-shamed me at the dinner table and the older one told me not to attend again because she thinks I am a bad influence on her 23 year old daughter. So I have not seen them since. I do still wear leggings when dressed casually.

This. The women who police attire need to work on their own insecurities.

Yeah and funny enough 99% of the bullsh&t attire rules in high school were directed at women. Never men.

Comments like this are either ridiculously naive or purposefully obtuse.
We either are required to believe that you don’t know that men’s bodies and women’s bodies are very different and the entire sex industry is based on titillating men with visual images of women’s body parts (not the reverse—which exists but is only 1/100th of the market) OR you want to pretend that high school girls are choosing to wear a low cut bra top and a mini skirt that hugs their ass simply because it’s more comfortable to wear than an entire shirt and pants or skirts that cover them.
But I suspect that you know why they choose the outfits they do, and the girls know it too.
And the fact that the rules are aimed overwhelmingly at girls is not coincidental or targeted for any other reason than because it’s the girls who choose to wear the revealing clothing that leaves nothing to the imagination.

Fine if you think they should be allowed to dress like they work in a strip club. But it’s silly to pretend that they aren’t dressing that way for attention and that grown-ups allowing them to dress that way has no impact on the biologically hard-wired visual stimulation of the biys and men who encounter girls dressed like that every day. Girls/women do not have that same reaction to the physical form whether they are gay or straight. They just don’t. And for boys/men, they literally have to look away and concentrate mental mental energy on not have a physical display of excitement that the whole world can see.
So yes. “Funny enough” the rules are overwhelmingly directed at women.

I’m so embarrassed for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it’s snowing and they are wearing a bathing suit I tell them they might get pneumonia. That is inappropriate. Miniskirts are literally 80 years old. Your grandmother probably wore one. Also if the teen was a male wearing bike shorts would you still care so much?

Ummm. I have boys, and there is no way in hell they would be allowed to go to a family party in bike shorts.

That’s just disrespectful.

I think the difficulty with women’s clothing is that a mini skirt is not necessarily disrespectful. One can be “dressed up” in a miniskirt. However, it’s pretty much impossible for a man to be “dressed up” in shorts.

Oh my actual God. Not ONLY in bike shorts. Wearing a tiny, form-fitting pair of shorts (colloquially called bike shorts) under her miniskirt so that if she happens to bend down without her ankles pressed so tightly together they’d smother a quarter, Puritan Granny won’t have to — gasp! — catch a one second glimpse of her underwear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a healthy body weight and wore leggings with a mid length sweater to a holiday dinner at my aunt’s house. My overweight cousins body-shamed me at the dinner table and the older one told me not to attend again because she thinks I am a bad influence on her 23 year old daughter. So I have not seen them since. I do still wear leggings when dressed casually.

This. The women who police attire need to work on their own insecurities.

Yeah and funny enough 99% of the bullsh&t attire rules in high school were directed at women. Never men.

Comments like this are either ridiculously naive or purposefully obtuse.
We either are required to believe that you don’t know that men’s bodies and women’s bodies are very different and the entire sex industry is based on titillating men with visual images of women’s body parts (not the reverse—which exists but is only 1/100th of the market) OR you want to pretend that high school girls are choosing to wear a low cut bra top and a mini skirt that hugs their ass simply because it’s more comfortable to wear than an entire shirt and pants or skirts that cover them.
But I suspect that you know why they choose the outfits they do, and the girls know it too.
And the fact that the rules are aimed overwhelmingly at girls is not coincidental or targeted for any other reason than because it’s the girls who choose to wear the revealing clothing that leaves nothing to the imagination.

Fine if you think they should be allowed to dress like they work in a strip club. But it’s silly to pretend that they aren’t dressing that way for attention and that grown-ups allowing them to dress that way has no impact on the biologically hard-wired visual stimulation of the biys and men who encounter girls dressed like that every day. Girls/women do not have that same reaction to the physical form whether they are gay or straight. They just don’t. And for boys/men, they literally have to look away and concentrate mental mental energy on not have a physical display of excitement that the whole world can see.
So yes. “Funny enough” the rules are overwhelmingly directed at women.

Sounds like boys/men should be working on better coping skills. You can't control women just because you aren't able to control your own gaze.

NP but you sound really stupid.

No, they sound correct. All this “but you’re tempting the hapless men!!!” garbage belongs in 1954. It’s 2025. Keep up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t invite them to one of my events again. If they can’t take the time to educate themselves about appropriate dress, then they aren’t worthy of being a guest. It’s offensive to all.

For the love of all that is holy, someone please explain what "cozy business casual" is! All I can come up with is tunic sweaters, leggings, and statement necklaces from Chico's.

And then one weirdo PP said leggings don’t count since they’re “pajamas.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your guests are rude if they're side eyeing a kid's mini skirt.

Mini skirts so short that underwear shows are worn to attract attention. Therefore there is no judgment for people who notice. Don’t be ridiculous.

She was wearing underwear. Nobody saw anything. If she was visibly commando, that’s the only time anyone should take her aside.

No need to “take her aside” in either case because she already knows what her outfit reveals and she chose it on purpose to show off what it shows off. And you’re just supposed to deal.

It’s 2024. This is no longer the era of “don’t dress like a slut—it degrades you and it’s disrespectful to the host and your elders””.” This is the era of “you are a perv for noticing I’m dressed like a slut—stop slut-shaming me”

It's normal for men to appreciate a young woman's mini-skirt. Nothing pervy happening there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your guests are rude if they're side eyeing a kid's mini skirt.

Mini skirts so short that underwear shows are worn to attract attention. Therefore there is no judgment for people who notice. Don’t be ridiculous.

She was wearing underwear. Nobody saw anything. If she was visibly commando, that’s the only time anyone should take her aside.

No need to “take her aside” in either case because she already knows what her outfit reveals and she chose it on purpose to show off what it shows off. And you’re just supposed to deal.

It’s 2024. This is no longer the era of “don’t dress like a slut—it degrades you and it’s disrespectful to the host and your elders””.” This is the era of “you are a perv for noticing I’m dressed like a slut—stop slut-shaming me”

It's normal for men to appreciate a young woman's mini-skirt. Nothing pervy happening there.

You’d be amazed how much of the behavior you probably think of as normal is experienced by others as pervy.

Congrats, you’re the gross creeper uncle the girls are talking about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your guests are rude if they're side eyeing a kid's mini skirt.

Mini skirts so short that underwear shows are worn to attract attention. Therefore there is no judgment for people who notice. Don’t be ridiculous.

She was wearing underwear. Nobody saw anything. If she was visibly commando, that’s the only time anyone should take her aside.

No need to “take her aside” in either case because she already knows what her outfit reveals and she chose it on purpose to show off what it shows off. And you’re just supposed to deal.

It’s 2024. This is no longer the era of “don’t dress like a slut—it degrades you and it’s disrespectful to the host and your elders””.” This is the era of “you are a perv for noticing I’m dressed like a slut—stop slut-shaming me”

It's normal for men to appreciate a young woman's mini-skirt. Nothing pervy happening there.

You’d be amazed how much of the behavior you probably think of as normal is experienced by others as pervy.

Congrats, you’re the gross creeper uncle the girls are talking about.

See, you can't have it both ways. Wearing something intentionally designed to draw attention to the body comes with.... attention.

If you think the honus is on men to over ride eons of evolution and not notice... exactly what nature has trained them to look at, then you are, simply wrong. You may wear whatever you want, but you don't get to decide what other people think about it.

I guarantee if I (48 M, very well endowed) rolled up to your house for Xmas sporting some lycra nut huggers and micro tank top you would most certainly call it offensive. And I kindly doubt you'd like me telling you to stuff it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"I can see your panties." when she bent down.

Who the hell are you people?

Apparently my family members.