Husband says the inheritance from his dad is his

[Anonymous]

Your husband is financially and emotionally abusive. Protect your savings, your kids, and start downsizing. Keep your “umbrella” handy and don’t allow this man to mistreat you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP- is this you?

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1193579.page

Maybe this one too?

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1201856.page

One of those says OP (of that thread) handles all finances, so I would doubt it. At least this OP doesnt seem to have any idea about family finances.

[Anonymous]

Why don't you contribute to the mortgage and household expenses?

You should be paying a proportional amount of all expenses involved in being an adult and raising a family.

He is right to keep it. You need to be an equal partner if you want to have joint access to family finances. It isn't about his money is yours and your money is yours.

Are you younger? Did you marry him for his income or his money?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op what do you pay around the house? Rent or utilities mostly?

Groceries, takeouts, eat outs, medical, vacations, my car payment, parking in dc, cleaner, gas, home improvement, broken appliance replacement, gardening, dog expenses, child extracurriculars - gets pricey, child outings - treating his friends, Amazon stuff for household, anything relating to household management.

I make 60% of what he makes with my two jobs.

So no mortgage or utilities? Why are things like gas for your car and gardening in your tit for tat list? This is all so petty. I know you are frustrated, but this kind of mentality is not healthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your husband is financially and emotionally abusive. Protect your savings, your kids, and start downsizing. Keep your “umbrella” handy and don’t allow this man to mistreat you.

How is he financially abusive? Following the law is not abusive, and the law says his inheritance is his.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our father in law passed away and left some money to his son, my husband.
DH states that money is for DH only. I asked for access, and he denies it. Is this legal?
We are a family but I’m tired of jerky financial situation. This breaking point really I have no clarity about joint financial and the future in terms of retirement funds. I work on two jobs and I am exhausted. He works on one job and makes more money than I do.

This is not about his inheritance, it’s about the resentment you feel over your family financial arrangements.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your husband is financially and emotionally abusive. Protect your savings, your kids, and start downsizing. Keep your “umbrella” handy and don’t allow this man to mistreat you.

That’s how I feel…. I’m tired feeling this way. Why simple clarity is so hard. It should not be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it’s legally his. But in most healthy marriages, assets are shared. Maybe you should be in counseling.

You have no basis for this statement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband is financially and emotionally abusive. Protect your savings, your kids, and start downsizing. Keep your “umbrella” handy and don’t allow this man to mistreat you.

That’s how I feel…. I’m tired feeling this way. Why simple clarity is so hard. It should not be.

There is clarity. You’re just not getting what you want. You agreed to this arrangement when you married him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op what do you pay around the house? Rent or utilities mostly?

Groceries, takeouts, eat outs, medical, vacations, my car payment, parking in dc, cleaner, gas, home improvement, broken appliance replacement, gardening, dog expenses, child extracurriculars - gets pricey, child outings - treating his friends, Amazon stuff for household, anything relating to household management.

I make 60% of what he makes with my two jobs.

So no mortgage or utilities? Why are things like gas for your car and gardening in your tit for tat list? This is all so petty. I know you are frustrated, but this kind of mentality is not healthy.

When the heater breaks and I am the one paying it it’s not so little. I mean - I just want clarity. And I just described the types of expenses I go ahead and pay. Removing the tree is a cost in $$$ as well by the way. I just pick it up as long as I have savings and then they go back to nothing….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op what do you pay around the house? Rent or utilities mostly?

Groceries, takeouts, eat outs, medical, vacations, my car payment, parking in dc, cleaner, gas, home improvement, broken appliance replacement, gardening, dog expenses, child extracurriculars - gets pricey, child outings - treating his friends, Amazon stuff for household, anything relating to household management.

I make 60% of what he makes with my two jobs.

So no mortgage or utilities? Why are things like gas for your car and gardening in your tit for tat list? This is all so petty. I know you are frustrated, but this kind of mentality is not healthy.

When the heater breaks and I am the one paying it it’s not so little. I mean - I just want clarity. And I just described the types of expenses I go ahead and pay. Removing the tree is a cost in $$$ as well by the way. I just pick it up as long as I have savings and then they go back to nothing….

You don’t know what clarity means. Stop using that word.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you contribute to the mortgage and household expenses?

You should be paying a proportional amount of all expenses involved in being an adult and raising a family.

He is right to keep it. You need to be an equal partner if you want to have joint access to family finances. It isn't about his money is yours and your money is yours.

Are you younger? Did you marry him for his income or his money?

This is exactly what I want -be proportional but everything is closed info - so I practically can’t…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The point is - I want a view of combined finances…. And I can’t get that so we have combined budget — for both income and expense flows….

I don’t want more of his money for just me… I never had it that way. I’m not that person.
Else - I could have easily married someone for money…

So why upthread were you mentioning jewelry and designer things?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op what do you pay around the house? Rent or utilities mostly?

Groceries, takeouts, eat outs, medical, vacations, my car payment, parking in dc, cleaner, gas, home improvement, broken appliance replacement, gardening, dog expenses, child extracurriculars - gets pricey, child outings - treating his friends, Amazon stuff for household, anything relating to household management.

I make 60% of what he makes with my two jobs.

So no mortgage or utilities? Why are things like gas for your car and gardening in your tit for tat list? This is all so petty. I know you are frustrated, but this kind of mentality is not healthy.

When the heater breaks and I am the one paying it it’s not so little. I mean - I just want clarity. And I just described the types of expenses I go ahead and pay. Removing the tree is a cost in $$$ as well by the way. I just pick it up as long as I have savings and then they go back to nothing….

You don’t know what clarity means. Stop using that word.

+1. There is nothing lacking clarity in your situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband is financially and emotionally abusive. Protect your savings, your kids, and start downsizing. Keep your “umbrella” handy and don’t allow this man to mistreat you.

How is he financially abusive? Following the law is not abusive, and the law says his inheritance is his.

He is abusive b/c he yells every time the wife suggests to combine finances and have combined family budget for income and expenses.

Op already agreed not to touch inheritance b/c by law that’s his and he decides to keep it that way or not.