Husband says the inheritance from his dad is his

[Anonymous]

how long have you been married and why are you having let's combine finances discussions now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In any case, I did not know my big weekend - bd and mother’s day was gonna be another man tantrum and disappointment. I don’t know what I did to deserve this. My entire life path is about family. I gave up at least two jobs that were paying more than his salary… So I gave up careers so that we could be a family at the same location and raise a child who has special needs… At this stage, I just want some clarity as to why we ended up owing taxes this year (as we pay max during the year)… I want to know a picture of our expenses altogether and also how does our retirement situation look? I’ve been in the gig economy so overtime it is on him… I don’t feel too good today.

Were finances not discussed before you married?

[Anonymous]

This guy is financially abusive and won’t change. Accept this fact and then decide what you want to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Our" Father in law? Who is the "our"?

I meant mine. I call him dad usually.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In any case, I did not know my big weekend - bd and mother’s day was gonna be another man tantrum and disappointment. I don’t know what I did to deserve this. My entire life path is about family. I gave up at least two jobs that were paying more than his salary… So I gave up careers so that we could be a family at the same location and raise a child who has special needs… At this stage, I just want some clarity as to why we ended up owing taxes this year (as we pay max during the year)… I want to know a picture of our expenses altogether and also how does our retirement situation look? I’ve been in the gig economy so overtime it is on him… I don’t feel too good today.

Were finances not discussed before you married?

No - we just kept separate. Nothing change in finance management.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is correct. But does he even like you?

Ok.
I don’t think so. Every time I try to have let’s combine income and have a family budget, he flips out. Gaslighting and name calling starts.
He says I don’t contribute towards any expense and I want vacations and I don’t pay for those vacations and I want to control his Dunkin’ breakfast…
Yeah - I’m such a monster.

It’s the same circle of conversation every time.

I bring up ‘let’s combine finances’ in a gentle way. It always blows up in my face… I brought it up today b/c I want to know which job it’s ok to quit. The one which pays a lot or the other one which doesn’t pay a lot, but I love it…

This tells me that he is right to keep the inheritance away from you.

Yeah he lost his father and she's seeing it as a way to make it all about her

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:how long have you been married and why are you having let's combine finances discussions now.

13 years. I need to plan retirement. It’s causing anxiety as it’s grey.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In any case, I did not know my big weekend - bd and mother’s day was gonna be another man tantrum and disappointment. I don’t know what I did to deserve this. My entire life path is about family. I gave up at least two jobs that were paying more than his salary… So I gave up careers so that we could be a family at the same location and raise a child who has special needs… At this stage, I just want some clarity as to why we ended up owing taxes this year (as we pay max during the year)… I want to know a picture of our expenses altogether and also how does our retirement situation look? I’ve been in the gig economy so overtime it is on him… I don’t feel too good today.

Were finances not discussed before you married?

No - we just kept separate. Nothing change in finance management.

You didn’t discuss it before getting married? What?

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry. You sound in a difficult situation. I suggest marriage counseling. Things do not sound in a good place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In any case, I did not know my big weekend - bd and mother’s day was gonna be another man tantrum and disappointment. I don’t know what I did to deserve this. My entire life path is about family. I gave up at least two jobs that were paying more than his salary… So I gave up careers so that we could be a family at the same location and raise a child who has special needs… At this stage, I just want some clarity as to why we ended up owing taxes this year (as we pay max during the year)… I want to know a picture of our expenses altogether and also how does our retirement situation look? I’ve been in the gig economy so overtime it is on him… I don’t feel too good today.

Were finances not discussed before you married?

No - we just kept separate. Nothing change in finance management.

Then you agreed to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is correct. But does he even like you?

Ok.
I don’t think so. Every time I try to have let’s combine income and have a family budget, he flips out. Gaslighting and name calling starts.
He says I don’t contribute towards any expense and I want vacations and I don’t pay for those vacations and I want to control his Dunkin’ breakfast…
Yeah - I’m such a monster.

It’s the same circle of conversation every time.

I bring up ‘let’s combine finances’ in a gentle way. It always blows up in my face… I brought it up today b/c I want to know which job it’s ok to quit. The one which pays a lot or the other one which doesn’t pay a lot, but I love it…

This tells me that he is right to keep the inheritance away from you.

Yeah he lost his father and she's seeing it as a way to make it all about her

I don’t even understand what you are saying.
We lost him both. My family lost him. The world lost him. And it’s the saddest thing that happened on Christmas with disconnecting on New Year’s Day. No I wouldn’t make that death about me. You have no idea what you’re talking about.

This thread is about married couples finance management and transparency.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In any case, I did not know my big weekend - bd and mother’s day was gonna be another man tantrum and disappointment. I don’t know what I did to deserve this. My entire life path is about family. I gave up at least two jobs that were paying more than his salary… So I gave up careers so that we could be a family at the same location and raise a child who has special needs… At this stage, I just want some clarity as to why we ended up owing taxes this year (as we pay max during the year)… I want to know a picture of our expenses altogether and also how does our retirement situation look? I’ve been in the gig economy so overtime it is on him… I don’t feel too good today.

Were finances not discussed before you married?

No - we just kept separate. Nothing change in finance management.

You didn’t discuss it before getting married? What?

No - we were just in love and both equal financial positions… but now we are family. And I’m more dependent on him — no own retirement plans…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This guy is financially abusive and won’t change. Accept this fact and then decide what you want to do.

No he isn't.

And this is piece of evidence #743 that all you women care about is money. Her husband's dad died and the first thing she thinks about is how she can cash in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In any case, I did not know my big weekend - bd and mother’s day was gonna be another man tantrum and disappointment. I don’t know what I did to deserve this. My entire life path is about family. I gave up at least two jobs that were paying more than his salary… So I gave up careers so that we could be a family at the same location and raise a child who has special needs… At this stage, I just want some clarity as to why we ended up owing taxes this year (as we pay max during the year)… I want to know a picture of our expenses altogether and also how does our retirement situation look? I’ve been in the gig economy so overtime it is on him… I don’t feel too good today.

Were finances not discussed before you married?

No - we just kept separate. Nothing change in finance management.

You didn’t discuss it before getting married? What?

No - we were just in love and both equal financial positions… but now we are family. And I’m more dependent on him — no own retirement plans…

That is your fault. Starting out as equal financially did it mean it would stay that way and you knew that. You agreed to this arrangement.

[Anonymous]

Our father in law? He’s your husband’s father. Yes, it’s legally his and if he keeps it in an account in just his name it’s shielded from you and you can never have any legal claim to it.
However, you can ask him to pay more of the household bills.