Husband says the inheritance from his dad is his

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The point is - I want a view of combined finances…. And I can’t get that so we have combined budget — for both income and expense flows….

I don’t want more of his money for just me… I never had it that way. I’m not that person.
Else - I could have easily married someone for money…

So why upthread were you mentioning jewelry and designer things?

I’m mentioning - I don’t have those… that’s not the type I am.

[Anonymous]

It absolutely is his

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It absolutely is his

You can keep it - please. Just don’t yell on your wife any more and let me go this time.
Don’t try and behave as if nothing happened - your usual trick.

Let me go and have peace and quiet. I will not block you and you will have access to your child and dog.

I just don’t want to be yelled any more, especially not on the special weekend.

I am tired of forgiving repeatedly.

I have nothing left - no strength - to get through this conflict.

I’d rather be alone than with a tantrum man.

Good bye

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband is financially and emotionally abusive. Protect your savings, your kids, and start downsizing. Keep your “umbrella” handy and don’t allow this man to mistreat you.

How is he financially abusive? Following the law is not abusive, and the law says his inheritance is his.

He is abusive b/c he yells every time the wife suggests to combine finances and have combined family budget for income and expenses.

Op already agreed not to touch inheritance b/c by law that’s his and he decides to keep it that way or not.

That's not financially abusive. Why did you call him financially abusive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In any case, I did not know my big weekend - bd and mother’s day was gonna be another man tantrum and disappointment. I don’t know what I did to deserve this. My entire life path is about family. I gave up at least two jobs that were paying more than his salary… So I gave up careers so that we could be a family at the same location and raise a child who has special needs… At this stage, I just want some clarity as to why we ended up owing taxes this year (as we pay max during the year)… I want to know a picture of our expenses altogether and also how does our retirement situation look? I’ve been in the gig economy so overtime it is on him… I don’t feel too good today.

Are you the poster that made a small amount of money but DH wants you to pay all the taxes?

No - but this year we ended up owing - I can’t understand it unless I have access to his money picture…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband is financially and emotionally abusive. Protect your savings, your kids, and start downsizing. Keep your “umbrella” handy and don’t allow this man to mistreat you.

How is he financially abusive? Following the law is not abusive, and the law says his inheritance is his.

He is abusive b/c he yells every time the wife suggests to combine finances and have combined family budget for income and expenses.

Op already agreed not to touch inheritance b/c by law that’s his and he decides to keep it that way or not.

That's not financially abusive. Why did you call him financially abusive?

Because he keeps his wife in the dark about the financial expenditures of his own. She is walled off. And she makes less.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband is financially and emotionally abusive. Protect your savings, your kids, and start downsizing. Keep your “umbrella” handy and don’t allow this man to mistreat you.

How is he financially abusive? Following the law is not abusive, and the law says his inheritance is his.

He is abusive b/c he yells every time the wife suggests to combine finances and have combined family budget for income and expenses.

Op already agreed not to touch inheritance b/c by law that’s his and he decides to keep it that way or not.

That's not financially abusive. Why did you call him financially abusive?

Because he keeps his wife in the dark about the financial expenditures of his own. She is walled off. And she makes less.

That isn't what financially abusive means. Stop using words you don't understand the meaning of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It absolutely is his

You can keep it - please. Just don’t yell on your wife any more and let me go this time.
Don’t try and behave as if nothing happened - your usual trick.

Let me go and have peace and quiet. I will not block you and you will have access to your child and dog.

I just don’t want to be yelled any more, especially not on the special weekend.

I am tired of forgiving repeatedly.

I have nothing left - no strength - to get through this conflict.

I’d rather be alone than with a tantrum man.

Good bye

OP, take a breath. You are spinning. I mean that sincerely.

You started this post framing it around whether somebody is legally allowed to not share their inheritance with you. And now you are divorcing.

Take a deep breath. Reflect on what you actually want (and it isn't "clarity"). Reflect on how you have gone about trying to have discussions. Reflect on whether there is a way that is likely to be more effective.

If not, walk. But be clear in your head on what the issue is- is it money? is it that he yelled?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband is financially and emotionally abusive. Protect your savings, your kids, and start downsizing. Keep your “umbrella” handy and don’t allow this man to mistreat you.

How is he financially abusive? Following the law is not abusive, and the law says his inheritance is his.

He is abusive b/c he yells every time the wife suggests to combine finances and have combined family budget for income and expenses.

Op already agreed not to touch inheritance b/c by law that’s his and he decides to keep it that way or not.

That's not financially abusive. Why did you call him financially abusive?

Because he keeps his wife in the dark about the financial expenditures of his own. She is walled off. And she makes less.

That isn't what financially abusive means. Stop using words you don't understand the meaning of.

Read 4-5 here: https://www.choosingtherapy.com/financial-abuse-in-marriage/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It absolutely is his

You can keep it - please. Just don’t yell on your wife any more and let me go this time.
Don’t try and behave as if nothing happened - your usual trick.

Let me go and have peace and quiet. I will not block you and you will have access to your child and dog.

I just don’t want to be yelled any more, especially not on the special weekend.

I am tired of forgiving repeatedly.

I have nothing left - no strength - to get through this conflict.

I’d rather be alone than with a tantrum man.

Good bye

Yikes. You have lost your mind.

[Anonymous]

It's his money.

[Anonymous]

Unlike you, I have a husband who is not a scammer. I am getting some money, and we opened a new savings account just in my name. It was my husband's idea.
While I do not think we will split, gosh forbid something happens, my money will go to my kids, not to some hussy's kids, if he gets himself married and decides to become a horrible dad to our kids.

[Anonymous]

Quit one job. It’s his.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband is financially and emotionally abusive. Protect your savings, your kids, and start downsizing. Keep your “umbrella” handy and don’t allow this man to mistreat you.

How is he financially abusive? Following the law is not abusive, and the law says his inheritance is his.

He is abusive b/c he yells every time the wife suggests to combine finances and have combined family budget for income and expenses.

Op already agreed not to touch inheritance b/c by law that’s his and he decides to keep it that way or not.

That's not financially abusive. Why did you call him financially abusive?

Because he keeps his wife in the dark about the financial expenditures of his own. She is walled off. And she makes less.

That isn't what financially abusive means. Stop using words you don't understand the meaning of.

Read 4-5 here: https://www.choosingtherapy.com/financial-abuse-in-marriage/

That's fair, I definitely think he's doing 4, 5 and also 6. I've never thought of keeping separate accounts separate as financial infidelity, but he is not doing passively or benignly. If he's blowing up at OP just for asking that is a pretty big red flag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In any case, I did not know my big weekend - bd and mother’s day was gonna be another man tantrum and disappointment. I don’t know what I did to deserve this. My entire life path is about family. I gave up at least two jobs that were paying more than his salary… So I gave up careers so that we could be a family at the same location and raise a child who has special needs… At this stage, I just want some clarity as to why we ended up owing taxes this year (as we pay max during the year)… I want to know a picture of our expenses altogether and also how does our retirement situation look? I’ve been in the gig economy so overtime it is on him… I don’t feel too good today.

Are you the poster that made a small amount of money but DH wants you to pay all the taxes?

No - but this year we ended up owing - I can’t understand it unless I have access to his money picture…

A lot of people have ended up owing money because they changed the withholding tables. We’ve had to pay the last couple of years when we didn’t in the past.

Do you see the tax forms you guys file?