Husband says the inheritance from his dad is his

[Anonymous]

Our father in law passed away and left some money to his son, my husband.
DH states that money is for DH only. I asked for access, and he denies it. Is this legal?
We are a family but I’m tired of jerky financial situation. This breaking point really I have no clarity about joint financial and the future in terms of retirement funds. I work on two jobs and I am exhausted. He works on one job and makes more money than I do.

[Anonymous]

Yes the inheritance is his legally.

[Anonymous]

Yes it is legal.

You have money issues that you need to discuss, but demanding access to an inheritance was not the right way to go about that conversation.

Wait a while and have a level-headed conversation about the big picture of your finances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes it is legal.

You have money issues that you need to discuss, but demanding access to an inheritance was not the right way to go about that conversation.

Wait a while and have a level-headed conversation about the big picture of your finances.

This.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it’s legally his. But in most healthy marriages, assets are shared. Maybe you should be in counseling.

[Anonymous]

Quit one of those jobs, OP.

[Anonymous]

The inhertiance is his. If he does not commingle it and keeps it in his name only, it remains his in a divorce. Inhertiances are not a martial asset.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it’s legally his. But in most healthy marriages, assets are shared. Maybe you should be in counseling.

This

We will not get anything from DWs parents. Will get sizable amount from my parents. It will be our money,

[Anonymous]

You should quit a job or find new work if you want to be less exhausted. Look out for yourself. His inheritance shouldn’t impact your financial situation.

[Anonymous]

He is correct. But does he even like you?

[Anonymous]

"Our" Father in law? Who is the "our"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He is correct. But does he even like you?

Ok.
I don’t think so. Every time I try to have let’s combine income and have a family budget, he flips out. Gaslighting and name calling starts.
He says I don’t contribute towards any expense and I want vacations and I don’t pay for those vacations and I want to control his Dunkin’ breakfast…
Yeah - I’m such a monster.

It’s the same circle of conversation every time.

I bring up ‘let’s combine finances’ in a gentle way. It always blows up in my face… I brought it up today b/c I want to know which job it’s ok to quit. The one which pays a lot or the other one which doesn’t pay a lot, but I love it…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is correct. But does he even like you?

Ok.
I don’t think so. Every time I try to have let’s combine income and have a family budget, he flips out. Gaslighting and name calling starts.
He says I don’t contribute towards any expense and I want vacations and I don’t pay for those vacations and I want to control his Dunkin’ breakfast…
Yeah - I’m such a monster.

It’s the same circle of conversation every time.

I bring up ‘let’s combine finances’ in a gentle way. It always blows up in my face… I brought it up today b/c I want to know which job it’s ok to quit. The one which pays a lot or the other one which doesn’t pay a lot, but I love it…

This tells me that he is right to keep the inheritance away from you.

[Anonymous]

In any case, I did not know my big weekend - bd and mother’s day was gonna be another man tantrum and disappointment. I don’t know what I did to deserve this. My entire life path is about family. I gave up at least two jobs that were paying more than his salary… So I gave up careers so that we could be a family at the same location and raise a child who has special needs… At this stage, I just want some clarity as to why we ended up owing taxes this year (as we pay max during the year)… I want to know a picture of our expenses altogether and also how does our retirement situation look? I’ve been in the gig economy so overtime it is on him… I don’t feel too good today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is correct. But does he even like you?

Ok.
I don’t think so. Every time I try to have let’s combine income and have a family budget, he flips out. Gaslighting and name calling starts.
He says I don’t contribute towards any expense and I want vacations and I don’t pay for those vacations and I want to control his Dunkin’ breakfast…
Yeah - I’m such a monster.

It’s the same circle of conversation every time.

I bring up ‘let’s combine finances’ in a gentle way. It always blows up in my face… I brought it up today b/c I want to know which job it’s ok to quit. The one which pays a lot or the other one which doesn’t pay a lot, but I love it…

This tells me that he is right to keep the inheritance away from you.

That’s fine if he keeps it. I will just rely on what I make and downsize. That’s all.