+1 Rawdog or nothing for these AHs |
OP, if I were you, I would confront DH with this - see what he says. |
+1, except we have 3 kids and I believe the vasectomy took less than 5 minutes, including a quick shave of the boys. A vasectomy ain't nothin' compared to a woman getting her tubes tied + it can be reversed! |
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When my wife was prepping for her C section, her longtime ob-gym said: “So while I have you cut open, I can tie your tubes. It’s a bit dicey as it involves more blood loss, so we need to see how it’s going before we start that second surgery.”
At which point I chimed up and said “No worries, we already chatted and I’m getting a vasectomy. Seems way easier.” The ob-gym then said to my wife: “That’s the response I want to hear. Most husbands are not offering to do that, so I always need to ask the woman giving birth.” So yeah, lots of guys out there who won’t consider a vasectomy. |
| It’s more than reasonable OP. Any responsible man should step up without complaint or keep it covered. |
He forced it. I was off the pill for two days in my mid 30s (was sick and had just gotten home from the hospital and taking the pill was the last thing on my mind). Years later had sex once more. I was tracking once just in case because I was not going back on any pill for a no action situation and it was not a good marriage. We never had sex again. Divorced years later. We agreed no kids before getting married. He “changed his mind” but not have a conversation about it because he knew I would say no. He took matters into his own hands. I got pregnant from one time sex twice—years apart—in my 30s. I really wasn’t expecting to have sex again, but it had been years and I did track the natural planning thing. It turns out that I ovulate on a different timeline than most women. |
He's 53! I mean, I guess that might still be a possibility! |
| Another man here who got snipped - it really was easy. Had the procedure on a Friday, spent the weekend watching TV and was back at work on Monday. |
| Ugh I think it’s so creepy how many men feel entitled to push women to go on hormonal birth control so that the sex could be better and more convenient for them. In college being on the pill was such a norm for everyone, but it was supposed to be about women having more control over their lives, not a new norm for men to expect of women. |
| Husband did it after two kids. Easy, but he said he was sore longer than the doctor said he would be--but that's like two days instead of one and sitting all day at a desk job. It was no big deal and we were forever after able to have sex without worrying about anything. Highly recommend. |
They’re mostly just scared or uninformed about the procedure. |
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My husband was the same way. It made me so angry that he was unwilling to get a V. He had a lot of toxic masculinity reasons to not do it (though he is not like that in other aspects of life.).
Then I went in to get another IUD and the doctor failed to place it. It was a truly painful experience and at the end, I was in tears because all that pain was for nothing. When he saw me crying, he finally agreed to the vasectomy. And it was totally smooth and fine and now he’s happy he got it done. But he needed to see me in tears before it got through to him that I’d been through enough. |
Most common complication of tubal ligation is ectopic pregnancy. Which is life threatening. |
Excellent point |
| My husbands vasectomy was a condition of my agreeing to a second pregnancy. No way does one partners body become joint property while the other reaps only benefits. That this is somehow controversial shows how badly we’re coddling men in this country. |