Making my husband get a vasectomy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are heading for divorce, OP!

I used my Mirena IUD in my 40s all the way to menopause. Easy.

But enjoy your divorce.

It’s embarrassing to be this desperate in your 40’s and 50’s. I feel second hand shame for you.

OP is throwing a temper tantrum that is going to end her marriage.

It is her job to take care of herself if she doesn't want more children and not force her husband to get a surgery he doesn't want.

You’re dumber than a box of rocks. The husband can use condoms or abstain.

Or she can get off the stick and get an IUD.

Nice try. Husband can man up and get snipped instead of being such a weenie.

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand, hasn’t this always been the dynamic? You’ve always been in control. If he doesn’t do what you want, you withhold. What’s he going to do, leave?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are heading for divorce, OP!

I used my Mirena IUD in my 40s all the way to menopause. Easy.

But enjoy your divorce.

You’re a doormat.

No. I got what I wanted and didn't try "to force" my DH to do something.

I actually loved mu Mirena.

OP is a drama lama.

Np here. IUDs can affect libido. No thanks. Much easier for DH to get a vasectomy, which he did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are heading for divorce, OP!

I used my Mirena IUD in my 40s all the way to menopause. Easy.

But enjoy your divorce.

It’s embarrassing to be this desperate in your 40’s and 50’s. I feel second hand shame for you.

OP is throwing a temper tantrum that is going to end her marriage.

It is her job to take care of herself if she doesn't want more children and not force her husband to get a surgery he doesn't want.

And your husband doesn’t GAF about you other than a convenient sex partner he doesn’t need to use a condom with. Divorce would be better than this kind of marriage.

Yah, none of that is true.

Married 40 years.

My condolences. A lifetime of denial is hell of a drug.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for starting this thread. My husband and I have talked about him getting a vasectomy for about the last four years. Hormonal BC doesn’t work well for me and I’m not interested in getting an IUD. Happy with our two kids and don’t plan to have more. However, he’s never made an appointment. So for years, he has just pulled out because he won’t use condoms. Which honestly leaves a lot to be desired. Any thoughts/suggestions?

Make the appointment for him and stop having sex if he refuses to go.

[Anonymous]

My youngest is about 5 and my husband has been refusing a vasectomy ever since they were born. I recently mentioned it again and he paused then asked if I could just get my tubes tied. OMFG.

And he wonders why there's little action in the bedroom. I hate condoms.

[Anonymous]

I actually talked mine out of it. I’ve never had an unintended pregnancy and can’t imagine my chances are increasing with age.

I told DH, what if I die, and you fall madly in love with another woman and you both want more kids?

He just looked at me very lovingly the way he does, didn’t say anything but he canceled the appointment.

I have no issues with men or couples who decide to go through with it. I just don’t see the big deal either way.

I admit to having a slight preference to staying away from any surgical or medical procedure if it’s not necessary (and a strong preference for having it when it is indicated!).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husbands vasectomy was a condition of my agreeing to a second pregnancy. No way does one partners body become joint property while the other reaps only benefits. That this is somehow controversial shows how badly we’re coddling men in this country.

I’ve had two kids and reassure you my body never became common property!!

[Anonymous]

What a libido killer to have a husband who doesn’t care about his wife. And, of course, it’s “his body, his choice,” but you’ve given him plenty options: vasectomy, condom or abstinence. What’s his problem with condoms? Oh-hhhhh, let me guess. It’s a tiny bit more pleasurable for him to not wear a condom. So his slight increase in pleasure is worth more than your desire to not have an IUD that causes major pain to have inserted and removed and has risks/ side effects of its own. And all this after you have managed birth control for years, gone through pregnancy, birthed your kids and recovered from birth (and maybe breastfeeding). How in the world does he look himself in the mirror and call himself anything but a selfish husband?

-wife of DH who saw all that I went through with pregnancy and childbirth and volunteered to do his part

[Anonymous]

OP I am also curious if you are not his first marriage like another PP asked. Does he have any other children? You made a comment upthread about not wanting kids inheritance getting split if he has more kids, that’s a specific concern.

[Anonymous]

A friend's husband refused to get a vasectomy on the grounds that if something happened to her, he would absolutely want more kids with his next wife who of course would be younger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I actually talked mine out of it. I’ve never had an unintended pregnancy and can’t imagine my chances are increasing with age.

I told DH, what if I die, and you fall madly in love with another woman and you both want more kids?

He just looked at me very lovingly the way he does, didn’t say anything but he canceled the appointment.

I have no issues with men or couples who decide to go through with it. I just don’t see the big deal either way.

I admit to having a slight preference to staying away from any surgical or medical procedure if it’s not necessary (and a strong preference for having it when it is indicated!).

This is just freaking weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are heading for divorce, OP!

I used my Mirena IUD in my 40s all the way to menopause. Easy.

But enjoy your divorce.

It’s embarrassing to be this desperate in your 40’s and 50’s. I feel second hand shame for you.

OP is throwing a temper tantrum that is going to end her marriage.

It is her job to take care of herself if she doesn't want more children and not force her husband to get a surgery he doesn't want.

DP - I love my mirena as well, but the way OPs husband is acting is really disgusting. She is not throwing a temper tantrum, she's standing up for her own body. He has multiple choices if he doesn't want to get a V, she is being more than reasonable. IUD's are not without their own risks as well, even though both of us have been very lucky (assuming).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are heading for divorce, OP!

I used my Mirena IUD in my 40s all the way to menopause. Easy.

But enjoy your divorce.

It’s embarrassing to be this desperate in your 40’s and 50’s. I feel second hand shame for you.

OP is throwing a temper tantrum that is going to end her marriage.

It is her job to take care of herself if she doesn't want more children and not force her husband to get a surgery he doesn't want.

And your husband doesn’t GAF about you other than a convenient sex partner he doesn’t need to use a condom with. Divorce would be better than this kind of marriage.

Yah, none of that is true.

Married 40 years.

You’re one of those surrendered wives, aren’t you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are heading for divorce, OP!

I used my Mirena IUD in my 40s all the way to menopause. Easy.

But enjoy your divorce.

It’s embarrassing to be this desperate in your 40’s and 50’s. I feel second hand shame for you.

OP is throwing a temper tantrum that is going to end her marriage.

It is her job to take care of herself if she doesn't want more children and not force her husband to get a surgery he doesn't want.

You’re dumber than a box of rocks. The husband can use condoms or abstain.

Or she can get off the stick and get an IUD.

That’s not happening.