Making my husband get a vasectomy

[Anonymous]

My XH got a vasectomy after we were done having kids. Cost him an absolute fortune to take measures to have another kid with his new wife. Maybe your husband wants to keep his options open down the road?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Contrary to the popular claim, good vasectomies are not really reversible. If, God forbid, you should be hit by a bus tomorrow, would you really want to preclude your husband from having children with his second wife? I think not.

Cycle tracking works very well. It's the people who aren't doing it carefully who get surprises. You can have something like the Flo app on your phone. Pretty easy.

He's 53. He doesn't need anymore kids and my kids don't need their inheritance split.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Contrary to the popular claim, good vasectomies are not really reversible. If, God forbid, you should be hit by a bus tomorrow, would you really want to preclude your husband from having children with his second wife? I think not.

Cycle tracking works very well. It's the people who aren't doing it carefully who get surprises. You can have something like the Flo app on your phone. Pretty easy.

What do you do when perimenopause starts, along with unpredictable cycles? I'm 53 and still ovulating here and there and getting periods between 14 and 59 days apart. Op and dh have to desl with this sonehow. No one should be forced to be sugical sterilized, so condoms are the solution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Contrary to the popular claim, good vasectomies are not really reversible. If, God forbid, you should be hit by a bus tomorrow, would you really want to preclude your husband from having children with his second wife? I think not.

Cycle tracking works very well. It's the people who aren't doing it carefully who get surprises. You can have something like the Flo app on your phone. Pretty easy.

He's 53. He doesn't need anymore kids and my kids don't need their inheritance split.

That's not your decision to make. His body - his choice. You don't want to get pregnant get tubal. It's an easy procedure, can be done via laparoscopy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Contrary to the popular claim, good vasectomies are not really reversible. If, God forbid, you should be hit by a bus tomorrow, would you really want to preclude your husband from having children with his second wife? I think not.

Cycle tracking works very well. It's the people who aren't doing it carefully who get surprises. You can have something like the Flo app on your phone. Pretty easy.

He's 53. He doesn't need anymore kids and my kids don't need their inheritance split.

Fair. How old are you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about having your tubes tied , OP? Since you no longer want kids

OP here. It’s a major surgery and a risk. Vasectomy is much easier.

No it is not major surgery. It is outpatient.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Contrary to the popular claim, good vasectomies are not really reversible. If, God forbid, you should be hit by a bus tomorrow, would you really want to preclude your husband from having children with his second wife? I think not.

Cycle tracking works very well. It's the people who aren't doing it carefully who get surprises. You can have something like the Flo app on your phone. Pretty easy.

He's 53. He doesn't need anymore kids and my kids don't need their inheritance split.

That's not your decision to make. His body - his choice. You don't want to get pregnant get tubal. It's an easy procedure, can be done via laparoscopy

If a guy chose his hypothetical kids with his hypothetical wife over his actually present wife who has had two kids already, then he's a big tool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Contrary to the popular claim, good vasectomies are not really reversible. If, God forbid, you should be hit by a bus tomorrow, would you really want to preclude your husband from having children with his second wife? I think not.

Cycle tracking works very well. It's the people who aren't doing it carefully who get surprises. You can have something like the Flo app on your phone. Pretty easy.

He's 53. He doesn't need anymore kids and my kids don't need their inheritance split.

That's not your decision to make. His body - his choice. You don't want to get pregnant get tubal. It's an easy procedure, can be done via laparoscopy

Op carried the kids and birthed them. If there is going to be medical intervention, dh should get the snip.

[Anonymous]

I told my husband not to get it because I don't want kids, but get it because he doesn't want kids. I couldn't find a birth control I liked and so I told him it was unfair that it was 100% on me to find something that works, especially because I struggled to find something. He booked the appointment the next day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about having your tubes tied , OP? Since you no longer want kids

OP here. It’s a major surgery and a risk. Vasectomy is much easier.

He doesn't want it because he needs to keep his options open for his next wife, who may want children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. To me, it's not really an ultimatum where you are telling him what to do with his body. You are making decisions about your body (no IUD) and then making decisions about how to handle not getting pregnant again. Only one of those choices involves him doing something to his body. If he doesn't want a vasectomy, cool. But just like you can't force him, he can't force you to go on birth control. So the reasonable consequence/compromise is other methods to not get pregnant.

As someone who is on her 3rd IUD and plans to keep getting them until it's no longer useful, I 100% agree with this.

Your body, your choice: no IUD, no hormonal birth control, no pregnancy.

His body, his choice: vasectomy or not.

If no vasectomy, your joint choices are between condoms, abstinence, or taking the chance with natural planning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My XH got a vasectomy after we were done having kids. Cost him an absolute fortune to take measures to have another kid with his new wife. Maybe your husband wants to keep his options open down the road?

^^ It's 100% this. Smart guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about having your tubes tied , OP? Since you no longer want kids

OP here. It’s a major surgery and a risk. Vasectomy is much easier.

No it is not major surgery. It is outpatient.

It's still surgery, ffs. If neither wants surgery, op should reconsider birth control options. Presumeably, she wants to have relations, too? They can compromise, but she can't force him to get the vasectomy. She can insist on condoms, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I told my husband not to get it because I don't want kids, but get it because he doesn't want kids. I couldn't find a birth control I liked and so I told him it was unfair that it was 100% on me to find something that works, especially because I struggled to find something. He booked the appointment the next day.

Nice try martyr. You can have your tubes tied. It’s a simple procedure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about having your tubes tied , OP? Since you no longer want kids

OP here. It’s a major surgery and a risk. Vasectomy is much easier.

No it is not major surgery. It is outpatient.

It's still surgery, ffs. If neither wants surgery, op should reconsider birth control options. Presumeably, she wants to have relations, too? They can compromise, but she can't force him to get the vasectomy. She can insist on condoms, though.

It’s no more risky than a vasectomy.