DDs best friend is expensive!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We had a situation similar but the other family was wealthy. We have an only and so did they. Made a point of saying in African culture the host pays etc and no don’t send money when DD went to lunch with them. Then I took their kid ice skating, pumpkin patch, science center, lunch and DD literally never got invited anywhere with them after that first lunch. Last time I took her swimming to our outdoor pool last summer I told her Mom to send $20 for dinner because I was going to order. She sent it with the Dad ( he dropped off) and he seemed really weird about giving it to me.
They are at different schools now so don’t really see each other, but just weird.

You shouldn’t have invited her if you couldn’t pay for dinner, or sent her home before dinner. It makes you look cheap or like you’re mooching off a child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Thread #987654321 on “I only hang out with rich people”

No rich people here the way everyone’s going on and on about the small amounts of money this woman is paying to go the movies, food, whatever I don’t recall anything over the top.

I hate staying home and like to go places. I don’t work and when the children were in elementary school and middle school we would go see Cirque du Soleil, a musical, the museums, movies anything that looked interesting. Usually my son didn’t want to go so my daughter would ask a friend. Sometimes their mother came with us. Most mothers didn’t give me money because their child was my guest and I would not have taken it anyway.

For easy, inexpensive outings like the movies she would ask about 4 or 5 girls. For a musical or ballet she would choose one friend.

Two of my friends were similar and we would go to places with the girls and sometimes add on friends. I never even thought twice about the money and we aren’t rich. The experiences were great fun, activities my husband had zero interest in. It was worth the money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Thread #987654321 on “I only hang out with rich people”

No rich people here the way everyone’s going on and on about the small amounts of money this woman is paying to go the movies, food, whatever I don’t recall anything over the top.

I hate staying home and like to go places. I don’t work and when the children were in elementary school and middle school we would go see Cirque du Soleil, a musical, the museums, movies anything that looked interesting. Usually my son didn’t want to go so my daughter would ask a friend. Sometimes their mother came with us. Most mothers didn’t give me money because their child was my guest and I would not have taken it anyway.

For easy, inexpensive outings like the movies she would ask about 4 or 5 girls. For a musical or ballet she would choose one friend.

Two of my friends were similar and we would go to places with the girls and sometimes add on friends. I never even thought twice about the money and we aren’t rich. The experiences were great fun, activities my husband had zero interest in. It was worth the money.

Ooof.

[Anonymous]

What an insensitive post, OP. Teach your child that others are not as privileged and that she should be able to have fun without pricey outings some can’t afford.

[Anonymous]

DD had a friend that she didn't like very much but I thought was a nice kid and a good influence. We paid for that kid outings on multiple occasions, bought her gifts from abroad etc. Fast forward two years, this kid not only ignores my kid at school but also doesn't even say hello to me. She turned out to be really obnoxious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD had a friend that she didn't like very much but I thought was a nice kid and a good influence. We paid for that kid outings on multiple occasions, bought her gifts from abroad etc. Fast forward two years, this kid not only ignores my kid at school but also doesn't even say hello to me. She turned out to be really obnoxious.

lol, emotionally triggered by a child.

[Anonymous]

I took a group of 13 year old girls to lunch on Sunday on our way home from a sporting event.Of course I paid. Normally the kids make their own plans - mall/movie/skating etc. I’m happy to drive them but I don’t pay for the group. Their phones typically have Apple Cash or a credit card on them. I think you should move towards letting the kids make their own plans and make these “hosted “ opportunities more of an exception.

[Anonymous]

The girl and her mother are trying to tell you that their entertainment budget is different than yours. You can be gracious and read their signals, or you can continue to sulk and strong-arm them into spending money in a way that doesn’t work for them.

You don’t need to program your daughter’s social life. Let them hang out at the house and make brownies, play soccer in the backyard, walk down to the creek, or take stupid photos for Instagram. Once you stop inserting price tags into every outing, you’ll likely find the friend issues more invitations herself.

[Anonymous]

We don't invite friends to things expecting them to pay. They are YOUR guests. If you can't afford it, do free stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD had a friend that she didn't like very much but I thought was a nice kid and a good influence. We paid for that kid outings on multiple occasions, bought her gifts from abroad etc. Fast forward two years, this kid not only ignores my kid at school but also doesn't even say hello to me. She turned out to be really obnoxious.

This is because you forced a friendship that wasn't there.

[Anonymous]

Why are you doing so many things that cost so much money?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had a situation similar but the other family was wealthy. We have an only and so did they. Made a point of saying in African culture the host pays etc and no don’t send money when DD went to lunch with them. Then I took their kid ice skating, pumpkin patch, science center, lunch and DD literally never got invited anywhere with them after that first lunch. Last time I took her swimming to our outdoor pool last summer I told her Mom to send $20 for dinner because I was going to order. She sent it with the Dad ( he dropped off) and he seemed really weird about giving it to me.
They are at different schools now so don’t really see each other, but just weird.

Who TF asks for $20 for pool food? You can get 2 pizzas and chicken wings from Domino’s for $20, Can make lunch meat sandwiches for 20 people, buy 4 frozen pizzas, make hotdogs for half the pool. Was this child 500 pounds eating for 20? I wouldn’t have invited your kids back either.

So if someone took your kid use skating, to the science ctr, pumpkin patch etc you would feel no obligation to reciprocate or offer reimbursement? You are rude.

My 13 year old has access to our cards on apple pay and knows to offer to pay. Younger than that, whoever invites pays

[Anonymous]

My dd had a friend who was an only and the mom would always want to do stuff that cost a ton, like Museum of Ice Cream. I am honestly not cool spending on crap like that, so I'd say no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had a situation similar but the other family was wealthy. We have an only and so did they. Made a point of saying in African culture the host pays etc and no don’t send money when DD went to lunch with them. Then I took their kid ice skating, pumpkin patch, science center, lunch and DD literally never got invited anywhere with them after that first lunch. Last time I took her swimming to our outdoor pool last summer I told her Mom to send $20 for dinner because I was going to order. She sent it with the Dad ( he dropped off) and he seemed really weird about giving it to me.
They are at different schools now so don’t really see each other, but just weird.

You shouldn’t have invited her if you couldn’t pay for dinner, or sent her home before dinner. It makes you look cheap or like you’re mooching off a child.

In some cultures, if you don't feed a kid, it looks very strange. Asking $20 for a pool dinner is bizarre. Just pack food.

I don't get parents who choose expensive outings, invite other kids, and demand the parents pay. We don't do those kind of outings often and if we do, they are doing it with us, not you. Not all parents do all those expensive things so demanding they take your child, is also bizarre.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Her family clearly can't afford these expensive outings. So either pay for them without resentment or plan free things for the girls to do.

This. You have to find free things, because the other mom has basically told you she can't afford to pay or doesn't want to pay for outings that cost money.