DDs best friend is expensive!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had a situation similar but the other family was wealthy. We have an only and so did they. Made a point of saying in African culture the host pays etc and no don’t send money when DD went to lunch with them. Then I took their kid ice skating, pumpkin patch, science center, lunch and DD literally never got invited anywhere with them after that first lunch. Last time I took her swimming to our outdoor pool last summer I told her Mom to send $20 for dinner because I was going to order. She sent it with the Dad ( he dropped off) and he seemed really weird about giving it to me.
They are at different schools now so don’t really see each other, but just weird.

Who TF asks for $20 for pool food? You can get 2 pizzas and chicken wings from Domino’s for $20, Can make lunch meat sandwiches for 20 people, buy 4 frozen pizzas, make hotdogs for half the pool. Was this child 500 pounds eating for 20? I wouldn’t have invited your kids back either.

We were ordering Mexican. This child went to Chipotle once and ordered everything a la carte.we were with parents and her meal was like $25. She eats an adult meal. $20 is just right imo. It’s what I would send with my kid if I knew she was ordering dinner.

who orders Mexican to the swimming pool? and ordering food is expensive. some people never do it. basically you were expecting them to pay for an extravagance they cannot afford. if you actually wanted your child to keep the friendship you’d work to find affordable activities and gracefully cover when you chose unaffordable ones.

Someone sick of ordering pizza and packing food who has a kid with a bougie friend who likes to up charge everything and feels entitled to order adult meals a La carte style.

Some families go out to eat and let their kids get whatever they want in restaurants. My kids, once they hit elementary school, have always ordered adult meals. They have also dined at fine restaurants (Michelin star rated). I don’t think it would occur to them not to order guacamole on their chipotle because their friend’s parent couldn’t afford it. I usually send them with money but I think until recently they weren’t aware of the income levels of their friends.

They have no business knowing any adult’s income. You just need to teach your children manners. It has nothing to do with your ridiculous claim that the family might not be able to afford a side of guacamole.

I hope you didn’t prattle on to your kids about people’s income that you know nothing about. Teach them when they are a guest they should never order the most expensive thing on the menus. It’s bad manners and has nothing to do with income. If your kid went out with the Elon Musk family would they order everything in sight and only the best? Of course not. Same manners are applied. .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People are weird. And many are bizarrely cheap despite their personal wealth.

My kid went with another family down to the mall. My kid wasn't hungry so only ordered a soda at the food trucks. The other mother offered him some of her fried something or other, which he accepted -- because: kid and fried food. AND THEN SHE ASKED HIM FOR MONEY. He felt stupid, so gave her the $10 bill he had in change from the coke. And she kept it all.

WOW. What is wrong with people.

WOW!!! A friend of mine had a friend in high school who used to call her up and say, hey I need to go to the mall to pick up something for my mom, will you come with me? Then she would go pick up my friend, promptly stop at the gas station, and ask her to split the gas money!!

I’ve heard those stories before. The asking for gas money on a trip to the mall is shameless. Another WOW!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had a situation similar but the other family was wealthy. We have an only and so did they. Made a point of saying in African culture the host pays etc and no don’t send money when DD went to lunch with them. Then I took their kid ice skating, pumpkin patch, science center, lunch and DD literally never got invited anywhere with them after that first lunch. Last time I took her swimming to our outdoor pool last summer I told her Mom to send $20 for dinner because I was going to order. She sent it with the Dad ( he dropped off) and he seemed really weird about giving it to me.
They are at different schools now so don’t really see each other, but just weird.

Who TF asks for $20 for pool food? You can get 2 pizzas and chicken wings from Domino’s for $20, Can make lunch meat sandwiches for 20 people, buy 4 frozen pizzas, make hotdogs for half the pool. Was this child 500 pounds eating for 20? I wouldn’t have invited your kids back either.

We were ordering Mexican. This child went to Chipotle once and ordered everything a la carte.we were with parents and her meal was like $25. She eats an adult meal. $20 is just right imo. It’s what I would send with my kid if I knew she was ordering dinner.

who orders Mexican to the swimming pool? and ordering food is expensive. some people never do it. basically you were expecting them to pay for an extravagance they cannot afford. if you actually wanted your child to keep the friendship you’d work to find affordable activities and gracefully cover when you chose unaffordable ones.

Someone sick of ordering pizza and packing food who has a kid with a bougie friend who likes to up charge everything and feels entitled to order adult meals a La carte style.

Some families go out to eat and let their kids get whatever they want in restaurants. My kids, once they hit elementary school, have always ordered adult meals. They have also dined at fine restaurants (Michelin star rated). I don’t think it would occur to them not to order guacamole on their chipotle because their friend’s parent couldn’t afford it. I usually send them with money but I think until recently they weren’t aware of the income levels of their friends.

They have no business knowing any adult’s income. You just need to teach your children manners. It has nothing to do with your ridiculous claim that the family might not be able to afford a side of guacamole.

I hope you didn’t prattle on to your kids about people’s income that you know nothing about. Teach them when they are a guest they should never order the most expensive thing on the menus. It’s bad manners and has nothing to do with income. If your kid went out with the Elon Musk family would they order everything in sight and only the best? Of course not. Same manners are applied. .

Not sure…but I would definitely order some $2 guac.

If I take a kid to a restaurant I don’t expect them to order the surf & turf, but I also don’t expect them to order a plain salad either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For all the sanctimonious “you host you pay” people (like the mom of a 5 yr old ROFL) there are 13 yr olds. Kids with phones who can make their own plans, earn money, and get an allowance.

That happens. If they all agreed to go to a water park then they will all bring their money. But 13 year olds still enjoy going on little trips with their mothers. If my daughter and I want to go to a new museum exhibit and she asks for a friend to go then I buy three tickets. For lunch even if the child has money I don’t feel comfortable taking it. I’ll buy lunch.

It really depends on the situation. Group plans everyone pays. When you invite a child as your guest you pay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had a situation similar but the other family was wealthy. We have an only and so did they. Made a point of saying in African culture the host pays etc and no don’t send money when DD went to lunch with them. Then I took their kid ice skating, pumpkin patch, science center, lunch and DD literally never got invited anywhere with them after that first lunch. Last time I took her swimming to our outdoor pool last summer I told her Mom to send $20 for dinner because I was going to order. She sent it with the Dad ( he dropped off) and he seemed really weird about giving it to me.
They are at different schools now so don’t really see each other, but just weird.

Who TF asks for $20 for pool food? You can get 2 pizzas and chicken wings from Domino’s for $20, Can make lunch meat sandwiches for 20 people, buy 4 frozen pizzas, make hotdogs for half the pool. Was this child 500 pounds eating for 20? I wouldn’t have invited your kids back either.

We were ordering Mexican. This child went to Chipotle once and ordered everything a la carte.we were with parents and her meal was like $25. She eats an adult meal. $20 is just right imo. It’s what I would send with my kid if I knew she was ordering dinner.

who orders Mexican to the swimming pool? and ordering food is expensive. some people never do it. basically you were expecting them to pay for an extravagance they cannot afford. if you actually wanted your child to keep the friendship you’d work to find affordable activities and gracefully cover when you chose unaffordable ones.

This sounds fake. What meal is $25. You tell the kids one meal no extras and a drink.

Why is DCUM going on some bizarre tangent on this? Chipotle, Chick Filet, etc. are popular places to buy food as a teen. Is there some universally accepted 3rd party pool food that we are supposed to be aware?

Have you never gone to Chipotle? It's not that hard to get to $25. Yes, you can keep it for $15 if you just get a burrito and that's it (no guac for you kid!)

So odd that folks are hung up on $25 worth of Chipotle.

The prices get jacked up when you get delivery. The actual food costs maybe 30% more and then you have to pay for tip.

My kids all get an entree, chips and guacamole and a drink. I don’t think they would think this is taking advantage.

We always treat though so I don’t anyone would ever think we are taking advantage of anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would just stop taking them places that cost money. She can eat dinner with you of course but otherwise they hang out around the house or something.
Also, for perspective, my DS13 never hangs out with anyone outside school. I wouldn’t mind paying for a friend if he had one.

+1 My child has a best friend whose parents literally never take them anywhere, nor do they invite our child over. We take the best friend every week, everywhere (and pay).

I don’t mind it. I understand that families have varying degrees of issues (money, home stress) and sometimes are just plain moochers. But I like the kid, my child loves them and it is just a part of life that you can be a blessing to someone for a season that may never reciprocate, but you will be rewarded some day when you least expect it. My best friend growing up spent all her time at my house and did everything with my family because her home was not as large or “fun”, and I am SO glad my mom never even mentioned cost, because the memories and love are priceless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had a situation similar but the other family was wealthy. We have an only and so did they. Made a point of saying in African culture the host pays etc and no don’t send money when DD went to lunch with them. Then I took their kid ice skating, pumpkin patch, science center, lunch and DD literally never got invited anywhere with them after that first lunch. Last time I took her swimming to our outdoor pool last summer I told her Mom to send $20 for dinner because I was going to order. She sent it with the Dad ( he dropped off) and he seemed really weird about giving it to me.
They are at different schools now so don’t really see each other, but just weird.

Who TF asks for $20 for pool food? You can get 2 pizzas and chicken wings from Domino’s for $20, Can make lunch meat sandwiches for 20 people, buy 4 frozen pizzas, make hotdogs for half the pool. Was this child 500 pounds eating for 20? I wouldn’t have invited your kids back either.

We were ordering Mexican. This child went to Chipotle once and ordered everything a la carte.we were with parents and her meal was like $25. She eats an adult meal. $20 is just right imo. It’s what I would send with my kid if I knew she was ordering dinner.

who orders Mexican to the swimming pool? and ordering food is expensive. some people never do it. basically you were expecting them to pay for an extravagance they cannot afford. if you actually wanted your child to keep the friendship you’d work to find affordable activities and gracefully cover when you chose unaffordable ones.

Someone sick of ordering pizza and packing food who has a kid with a bougie friend who likes to up charge everything and feels entitled to order adult meals a La carte style.

Some families go out to eat and let their kids get whatever they want in restaurants. My kids, once they hit elementary school, have always ordered adult meals. They have also dined at fine restaurants (Michelin star rated). I don’t think it would occur to them not to order guacamole on their chipotle because their friend’s parent couldn’t afford it. I usually send them with money but I think until recently they weren’t aware of the income levels of their friends.

They have no business knowing any adult’s income. You just need to teach your children manners. It has nothing to do with your ridiculous claim that the family might not be able to afford a side of guacamole.

I hope you didn’t prattle on to your kids about people’s income that you know nothing about. Teach them when they are a guest they should never order the most expensive thing on the menus. It’s bad manners and has nothing to do with income. If your kid went out with the Elon Musk family would they order everything in sight and only the best? Of course not. Same manners are applied. .

Not sure…but I would definitely order some $2 guac.

If I take a kid to a restaurant I don’t expect them to order the surf & turf, but I also don’t expect them to order a plain salad either.

I can’t imagine ordering guacamole on the side at a place like Chipotle would be a problem. You don’t order the most expensive thing on the menu but you don’t need to order the cheapest either.

[Anonymous]

Bottom line:

If an activity is not “drop off, & arranged by the kids themselves” you should always be prepared to pay. 13 is a weird and transitional age for this IMO- soon nearly everything will be as described above so the problem will go away anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had a situation similar but the other family was wealthy. We have an only and so did they. Made a point of saying in African culture the host pays etc and no don’t send money when DD went to lunch with them. Then I took their kid ice skating, pumpkin patch, science center, lunch and DD literally never got invited anywhere with them after that first lunch. Last time I took her swimming to our outdoor pool last summer I told her Mom to send $20 for dinner because I was going to order. She sent it with the Dad ( he dropped off) and he seemed really weird about giving it to me.
They are at different schools now so don’t really see each other, but just weird.

Who TF asks for $20 for pool food? You can get 2 pizzas and chicken wings from Domino’s for $20, Can make lunch meat sandwiches for 20 people, buy 4 frozen pizzas, make hotdogs for half the pool. Was this child 500 pounds eating for 20? I wouldn’t have invited your kids back either.

We were ordering Mexican. This child went to Chipotle once and ordered everything a la carte.we were with parents and her meal was like $25. She eats an adult meal. $20 is just right imo. It’s what I would send with my kid if I knew she was ordering dinner.

who orders Mexican to the swimming pool? and ordering food is expensive. some people never do it. basically you were expecting them to pay for an extravagance they cannot afford. if you actually wanted your child to keep the friendship you’d work to find affordable activities and gracefully cover when you chose unaffordable ones.

Someone sick of ordering pizza and packing food who has a kid with a bougie friend who likes to up charge everything and feels entitled to order adult meals a La carte style.

Some families go out to eat and let their kids get whatever they want in restaurants. My kids, once they hit elementary school, have always ordered adult meals. They have also dined at fine restaurants (Michelin star rated). I don’t think it would occur to them not to order guacamole on their chipotle because their friend’s parent couldn’t afford it. I usually send them with money but I think until recently they weren’t aware of the income levels of their friends.

They have no business knowing any adult’s income. You just need to teach your children manners. It has nothing to do with your ridiculous claim that the family might not be able to afford a side of guacamole.

I hope you didn’t prattle on to your kids about people’s income that you know nothing about. Teach them when they are a guest they should never order the most expensive thing on the menus. It’s bad manners and has nothing to do with income. If your kid went out with the Elon Musk family would they order everything in sight and only the best? Of course not. Same manners are applied. .

Not sure…but I would definitely order some $2 guac.

If I take a kid to a restaurant I don’t expect them to order the surf & turf, but I also don’t expect them to order a plain salad either.

My kids know better than to add on extras. And, they are not going to order a pricy meal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had a situation similar but the other family was wealthy. We have an only and so did they. Made a point of saying in African culture the host pays etc and no don’t send money when DD went to lunch with them. Then I took their kid ice skating, pumpkin patch, science center, lunch and DD literally never got invited anywhere with them after that first lunch. Last time I took her swimming to our outdoor pool last summer I told her Mom to send $20 for dinner because I was going to order. She sent it with the Dad ( he dropped off) and he seemed really weird about giving it to me.
They are at different schools now so don’t really see each other, but just weird.

Who TF asks for $20 for pool food? You can get 2 pizzas and chicken wings from Domino’s for $20, Can make lunch meat sandwiches for 20 people, buy 4 frozen pizzas, make hotdogs for half the pool. Was this child 500 pounds eating for 20? I wouldn’t have invited your kids back either.

We were ordering Mexican. This child went to Chipotle once and ordered everything a la carte.we were with parents and her meal was like $25. She eats an adult meal. $20 is just right imo. It’s what I would send with my kid if I knew she was ordering dinner.

who orders Mexican to the swimming pool? and ordering food is expensive. some people never do it. basically you were expecting them to pay for an extravagance they cannot afford. if you actually wanted your child to keep the friendship you’d work to find affordable activities and gracefully cover when you chose unaffordable ones.

Someone sick of ordering pizza and packing food who has a kid with a bougie friend who likes to up charge everything and feels entitled to order adult meals a La carte style.

Some families go out to eat and let their kids get whatever they want in restaurants. My kids, once they hit elementary school, have always ordered adult meals. They have also dined at fine restaurants (Michelin star rated). I don’t think it would occur to them not to order guacamole on their chipotle because their friend’s parent couldn’t afford it. I usually send them with money but I think until recently they weren’t aware of the income levels of their friends.

They have no business knowing any adult’s income. You just need to teach your children manners. It has nothing to do with your ridiculous claim that the family might not be able to afford a side of guacamole.

I hope you didn’t prattle on to your kids about people’s income that you know nothing about. Teach them when they are a guest they should never order the most expensive thing on the menus. It’s bad manners and has nothing to do with income. If your kid went out with the Elon Musk family would they order everything in sight and only the best? Of course not. Same manners are applied. .

Not sure…but I would definitely order some $2 guac.

If I take a kid to a restaurant I don’t expect them to order the surf & turf, but I also don’t expect them to order a plain salad either.

I can’t imagine ordering guacamole on the side at a place like Chipotle would be a problem. You don’t order the most expensive thing on the menu but you don’t need to order the cheapest either.

You need to follow the lead of the family. We generally order the cheaper things. If not take the kid out if they ordered a crazy amount.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had a situation similar but the other family was wealthy. We have an only and so did they. Made a point of saying in African culture the host pays etc and no don’t send money when DD went to lunch with them. Then I took their kid ice skating, pumpkin patch, science center, lunch and DD literally never got invited anywhere with them after that first lunch. Last time I took her swimming to our outdoor pool last summer I told her Mom to send $20 for dinner because I was going to order. She sent it with the Dad ( he dropped off) and he seemed really weird about giving it to me.
They are at different schools now so don’t really see each other, but just weird.

Who TF asks for $20 for pool food? You can get 2 pizzas and chicken wings from Domino’s for $20, Can make lunch meat sandwiches for 20 people, buy 4 frozen pizzas, make hotdogs for half the pool. Was this child 500 pounds eating for 20? I wouldn’t have invited your kids back either.

We were ordering Mexican. This child went to Chipotle once and ordered everything a la carte.we were with parents and her meal was like $25. She eats an adult meal. $20 is just right imo. It’s what I would send with my kid if I knew she was ordering dinner.

who orders Mexican to the swimming pool? and ordering food is expensive. some people never do it. basically you were expecting them to pay for an extravagance they cannot afford. if you actually wanted your child to keep the friendship you’d work to find affordable activities and gracefully cover when you chose unaffordable ones.

This sounds fake. What meal is $25. You tell the kids one meal no extras and a drink.

Why is DCUM going on some bizarre tangent on this? Chipotle, Chick Filet, etc. are popular places to buy food as a teen. Is there some universally accepted 3rd party pool food that we are supposed to be aware?

Have you never gone to Chipotle? It's not that hard to get to $25. Yes, you can keep it for $15 if you just get a burrito and that's it (no guac for you kid!)

So odd that folks are hung up on $25 worth of Chipotle.

The prices get jacked up when you get delivery. The actual food costs maybe 30% more and then you have to pay for tip.

My kids all get an entree, chips and guacamole and a drink. I don’t think they would think this is taking advantage.

We always treat though so I don’t anyone would ever think we are taking advantage of anyone.

We might get chips as a family but there is no way mine would even ask for it for themselves. We never do delivery. If no one else is ordering extras your kids should not be if the other family is paying. Teach them manners and to read the room. I’d never spend $25 for chipotle for one.

[Anonymous]

We are wealthy and my daughters best friend is not. We always pay for her BF unless it’s a very expensive ticket, then we give the mom the option. We try and find inexpensive things for them to do - my daughter often pays for her friend.