DD wants the big bedroom, but I don’t want to give it to her & DH not backing me up

[Anonymous]

I think it makes sense to use a small bedroom
fornguests.
I am sure you can fit a queen bed in there. Thats all you need for guests.

I would let her have the room and its strange to me that you are so against it.

Also have the vibe that you have been sock puppeting over and over in here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd give her the room she wants. Lock the darn door, OP.

OP here. So my reasons against aren’t valid? I can see some people not finding my first two reasons compelling, but how about #3?

But you don’t have a planned use for the room instead. Of course, any decently sized room could have an alternate purpose. Truthfully you lost me at the part where you suggested tearing out apparently beautiful built ins. I read where you wanted to do that so your daughter wouldn’t keep seeing it. But it reads like you are determined to keep your daughter from this room that don’t seem entirely rationale. (I’m another eldest daughter who had the nicer room and gave it to my younger brother when I left for college.). I can’t help but wonder if your DH is trying to support your daughter because you seem a bit mean without cause. (Your 4 year old son might one day be upset?)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP, thanks to everyone for your replies, some of you gave me ideas I hadn’t thought about! To respond to a few points -

- The smaller bedrooms wouldn’t work as guest rooms, they’re pretty narrow and would fit only a full-sized bed at best.

- It’s a good-sized house, but limited on # rooms. Also, I’m not thinking of using the third bedroom only for guests; I’d have the kids use it as their shared space the 95% of the time that we don’t have guests.

- I’m not an evil mom who wants to traumatize DD by ripping out the girly built-ins lol. The built-ins only work for bedroom use and I was thinking they’d be a sore reminder to her of how much she wanted the room for herself. And I figured it’d make more sense to completely redo the room to fit the use, i.e. guest/playroom.

- I said from the get-go that DD would not get the girly bedroom. But DD kept asking, and DH eventually said well, maybe.

I really appreciate the suggestions, I’m going to see if we can somehow rework some of the girly built-ins in one of the smaller bedrooms. But if we can’t, and DD doesn’t get over not getting the bigger bedroom, I’ll suggest to her redoing her room the way she wants. I think she would be THRILLED, and this would be a great compromise.

No means no. Get her sone girly wall paper, paint, carpet, bedding and if needed furniture. Make the room you give her pretty and fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd give her the room she wants. Lock the darn door, OP.

me too and get a Ring or some smart lock on that door.

[Anonymous]

How often are you having guests that you need a big guest room? I don’t have a guest room and we do fine when people visit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP, thanks to everyone for your replies, some of you gave me ideas I hadn’t thought about! To respond to a few points -

- The smaller bedrooms wouldn’t work as guest rooms, they’re pretty narrow and would fit only a full-sized bed at best.

- It’s a good-sized house, but limited on # rooms. Also, I’m not thinking of using the third bedroom only for guests; I’d have the kids use it as their shared space the 95% of the time that we don’t have guests.

- I’m not an evil mom who wants to traumatize DD by ripping out the girly built-ins lol. The built-ins only work for bedroom use and I was thinking they’d be a sore reminder to her of how much she wanted the room for herself. And I figured it’d make more sense to completely redo the room to fit the use, i.e. guest/playroom.

- I said from the get-go that DD would not get the girly bedroom. But DD kept asking, and DH eventually said well, maybe.

I really appreciate the suggestions, I’m going to see if we can somehow rework some of the girly built-ins in one of the smaller bedrooms. But if we can’t, and DD doesn’t get over not getting the bigger bedroom, I’ll suggest to her redoing her room the way she wants. I think she would be THRILLED, and this would be a great compromise.

No means no. Get her sone girly wall paper, paint, carpet, bedding and if needed furniture. Make the room you give her pretty and fun.

Of course no means no. But some of you give the vibe that you want to say no just to show you are a hard a** than for an actual reason.

[Anonymous]

You can always get rid of a door. In our house we had an exterior door from one of the bedrooms, and we converted it to a window during a renovation. It wasn’t that hard to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP, thanks to everyone for your replies, some of you gave me ideas I hadn’t thought about! To respond to a few points -

- The smaller bedrooms wouldn’t work as guest rooms, they’re pretty narrow and would fit only a full-sized bed at best.

- It’s a good-sized house, but limited on # rooms. Also, I’m not thinking of using the third bedroom only for guests; I’d have the kids use it as their shared space the 95% of the time that we don’t have guests.

- I’m not an evil mom who wants to traumatize DD by ripping out the girly built-ins lol. The built-ins only work for bedroom use and I was thinking they’d be a sore reminder to her of how much she wanted the room for herself. And I figured it’d make more sense to completely redo the room to fit the use, i.e. guest/playroom.

- I said from the get-go that DD would not get the girly bedroom. But DD kept asking, and DH eventually said well, maybe.

I really appreciate the suggestions, I’m going to see if we can somehow rework some of the girly built-ins in one of the smaller bedrooms. But if we can’t, and DD doesn’t get over not getting the bigger bedroom, I’ll suggest to her redoing her room the way she wants. I think she would be THRILLED, and this would be a great compromise.

No means no. Get her sone girly wall paper, paint, carpet, bedding and if needed furniture. Make the room you give her pretty and fun.

Of course no means no. But some of you give the vibe that you want to say no just to show you are a hard a** than for an actual reason.

NP. I think “it’s unfair to your brother” is a legitimate reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP, thanks to everyone for your replies, some of you gave me ideas I hadn’t thought about! To respond to a few points -

- The smaller bedrooms wouldn’t work as guest rooms, they’re pretty narrow and would fit only a full-sized bed at best.

- It’s a good-sized house, but limited on # rooms. Also, I’m not thinking of using the third bedroom only for guests; I’d have the kids use it as their shared space the 95% of the time that we don’t have guests.

- I’m not an evil mom who wants to traumatize DD by ripping out the girly built-ins lol. The built-ins only work for bedroom use and I was thinking they’d be a sore reminder to her of how much she wanted the room for herself. And I figured it’d make more sense to completely redo the room to fit the use, i.e. guest/playroom.

- I said from the get-go that DD would not get the girly bedroom. But DD kept asking, and DH eventually said well, maybe.

I really appreciate the suggestions, I’m going to see if we can somehow rework some of the girly built-ins in one of the smaller bedrooms. But if we can’t, and DD doesn’t get over not getting the bigger bedroom, I’ll suggest to her redoing her room the way she wants. I think she would be THRILLED, and this would be a great compromise.

No means no. Get her sone girly wall paper, paint, carpet, bedding and if needed furniture. Make the room you give her pretty and fun.

Of course no means no. But some of you give the vibe that you want to say no just to show you are a hard a** than for an actual reason.

NP. I think “it’s unfair to your brother” is a legitimate reason.

It’s not unfair though. The 4 year old brother is not complaining and we don’t know that this will ever be an issue for him particularly if he gets the room later.

[Anonymous]

I would definitely give her the bigger bedroom. Especially if it has built-ins that she likes.

Most people will find this crazy, but I have one child (dd) and live in a 2-bedroom condo. DD has the primary bedroom (larger, walk-in closet, dedicated bath, door enclosing the entire area, set off from the rest of the living area).

DH suggested it when we moved in and I thought he was insane.

He was 100% right.

The poster said girls hang out in their rooms with friends was spot on. For 5 years now, DD can have multiple friends over and they are more or less out of my hair. They have enough space to be comfortable in her room and do whatever they want in there (dancing and yoga are quite common). And this means that the living room, kitchen, dining areas are mostly adult space for me and DH. And they can be noisy and it doesn’t bother me because of the extra door.

You will be glad if you give her the bigger room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would definitely give her the bigger bedroom. Especially if it has built-ins that she likes.

Most people will find this crazy, but I have one child (dd) and live in a 2-bedroom condo. DD has the primary bedroom (larger, walk-in closet, dedicated bath, door enclosing the entire area, set off from the rest of the living area).

DH suggested it when we moved in and I thought he was insane.

He was 100% right.

The poster said girls hang out in their rooms with friends was spot on. For 5 years now, DD can have multiple friends over and they are more or less out of my hair. They have enough space to be comfortable in her room and do whatever they want in there (dancing and yoga are quite common). And this means that the living room, kitchen, dining areas are mostly adult space for me and DH. And they can be noisy and it doesn’t bother me because of the extra door.

You will be glad if you give her the bigger room.

I think your perception is colored by only having one kid. What about OP’s son, and when he has friends over? They should each get one of the smaller bedrooms, and make the large main-floor bedroom into a fun playspace for both kids.

[Anonymous]

^^Ugh, perspective, not perception. Sorry, I’m tired this morning

[Anonymous]

If the third, bigger room isn’t really an option for your family, as it has other uses, I’d take it off the table as an option. She can choose from the two other rooms with the promise it could be made girly and to her specifications.

This seems basic to me. There are two rooms, not three, available.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP, thanks to everyone for your replies, some of you gave me ideas I hadn’t thought about! To respond to a few points -

- The smaller bedrooms wouldn’t work as guest rooms, they’re pretty narrow and would fit only a full-sized bed at best.

- It’s a good-sized house, but limited on # rooms. Also, I’m not thinking of using the third bedroom only for guests; I’d have the kids use it as their shared space the 95% of the time that we don’t have guests.

- I’m not an evil mom who wants to traumatize DD by ripping out the girly built-ins lol. The built-ins only work for bedroom use and I was thinking they’d be a sore reminder to her of how much she wanted the room for herself. And I figured it’d make more sense to completely redo the room to fit the use, i.e. guest/playroom.

- I said from the get-go that DD would not get the girly bedroom. But DD kept asking, and DH eventually said well, maybe.

I really appreciate the suggestions, I’m going to see if we can somehow rework some of the girly built-ins in one of the smaller bedrooms. But if we can’t, and DD doesn’t get over not getting the bigger bedroom, I’ll suggest to her redoing her room the way she wants. I think she would be THRILLED, and this would be a great compromise.

No means no. Get her sone girly wall paper, paint, carpet, bedding and if needed furniture. Make the room you give her pretty and fun.

Of course no means no. But some of you give the vibe that you want to say no just to show you are a hard a** than for an actual reason.

Op has good reasons to say no. Kid does not need that room and gets her own room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it makes sense to use a small bedroom
fornguests.
I am sure you can fit a queen bed in there. Thats all you need for guests.

I would let her have the room and its strange to me that you are so against it.

Also have the vibe that you have been sock puppeting over and over in here.

+1.

In the event this is a real scenario it sounds like something my mom would do, she favored my brother into adulthood and I remember.