Be honest- what do you think about women who are content to be just wives and mothers?

[Anonymous]

I am content to be a wife and a mother. I am highly qualified and hold several degrees. I have worked for a number of years and saved and invested my money. My kids have done very well, and my DH is quite successful. My family appreciates me very much and I have outsourced most of the domestic chores.

I was very involved with my kids education and well being when they were little, but now I just manage the logistics of the house, family and social obligations, because they are launched.

Not worried about divorce or cheating etc. My family and I will be fine regardless of disease, divorce, death and job loss. We have insurance, wealth and no pre-nup.

Do I care about what people think about me? Not really. I realize I am privileged and I do not want to be without this privilege. My family is grateful that I am available to manage things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Why are you so judgemental against others who make different lifestyle choices than yourself?

Good question.

Look ^^^ it’s two people who have never passed judgment on another person on their lives!

Angels do walk among us!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You mean people like me, who are very well-read, can discuss most current events with intelligence and some background knowledge, and also earn significant passive income from my dividends?

I'm doing great, thank you. Feel free to think whatever you want about me.

That fact that you replied sort of indicates you care what people think.

I only judge those that do not contribute in any way to society - volunteer work, pta, kids activities, anything. If all they do is care for their kids, then I judge them as incredibly selfish and lazy.

And what if they're looking after a child with special needs? Or another relative? What if they themselves have a chronic illness and cannot work?
What if the special needs or illness in question is invisible to you?

Judging based on incomplete information is not wise, PP. You never know what's going on in people's lives. Have a little respect and humility.

🙄 that’s exactly what I was saying - they contribute NOTHING to society. Going down the tangent of disabilities for the parent is way off OP’s topic and you know it.

I’m talking about people who get the non special needs kids to school, hit the gym/spa/nail grab lunch with friends, pick up kids and drive them to activities. Then go home and do it all over the next day for 18 years. Then continue to do nothing outside of their own pleasures. Completely selfish.

Personally, I think it sounds fantastic.
What do you think they should be doing instead? And why do you care?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When kids are little and not at school, no judgement. After kids are in school, I think k there choices to not work and make their own money are keeping us in the 1950s and I resent them for it.

Please explain 1) what you think it means for “us” to be “in the 1950s” and 2) how a women choosing not to work for money keeps us there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You mean people like me, who are very well-read, can discuss most current events with intelligence and some background knowledge, and also earn significant passive income from my dividends?

I'm doing great, thank you. Feel free to think whatever you want about me.

That fact that you replied sort of indicates you care what people think.

I only judge those that do not contribute in any way to society - volunteer work, pta, kids activities, anything. If all they do is care for their kids, then I judge them as incredibly selfish and lazy.

And what if they're looking after a child with special needs? Or another relative? What if they themselves have a chronic illness and cannot work?
What if the special needs or illness in question is invisible to you?

Judging based on incomplete information is not wise, PP. You never know what's going on in people's lives. Have a little respect and humility.

🙄 that’s exactly what I was saying - they contribute NOTHING to society. Going down the tangent of disabilities for the parent is way off OP’s topic and you know it.

I’m talking about people who get the non special needs kids to school, hit the gym/spa/nail grab lunch with friends, pick up kids and drive them to activities. Then go home and do it all over the next day for 18 years. Then continue to do nothing outside of their own pleasures. Completely selfish.

Actually, they contribute a lot. You sound resentful that you work. Them not working frees up a job for you. Why do you care? My parents hated I didn't work and it destroyed our relationship. They would not help out at all, my income was barely covering child care and it made no sense for me to work. I worked for 15 years before kids in a helping profession so I did my fair share and probably contributed far more than you do. Most jobs don't contribute to society as much as you think and you are replaceable and what you did, except certain jobs, really wouldn't matter if you or someone else did them. You over value yourself to rationalize your thinking. Why would you want to spend all that time working if you don't have to? Why not be able to drop your kids off, pick them up from school, be there at their sports games, concerts and all that? Be home for them when they are sick. It's not exactly fun to drive your kids from 3-10 PM to all kinds of activities but what is the other option, them not doing them? Now, that's truly selfish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think about them.

I do think about them once who are divorced or widowed because people make go fund me accounts and I think, nope.

But you do get to feel smug and superior so they are adding to your quality of life, right?

Neither smug nor superior.

Nope. I just am not giving them money because they refuse to work for money.

I don’t understand not working but begging for money. Get a job!

+1

Its a matter of resources. Your circle sounds poor. Any Gofundme requests I see are from poor women, not rich ones, no matter employed ones or SAHMs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want to know what their Plan B is when the kids leave for college or if a divorce happens.

Plan B: For college - enjoy the freedom of not being a cook, housekeeper, laundry, and personal driver. If divorce happens, my spouse knows I'll go after everything but I cannot imagine divorce happening. The bigger concern is death and we have a paid-off house, college fund, savings and I'd get social security. And, life insurance. I could pick up a basic job if I wanted/needed to and be just fine. Believe it or not, some plan for these things. Death worries me more. I hope to die first.

Sounds like my best friend, except it took him 10 years to die. It drained their finances. He was 40 when he got sick. Social security is decades away and not that much when someone only working until 40.

We have good health insurance so thankfully it would only be a drain for a nursing home and I'd never do that to my spouse if I could avoid it. Same with my spouse. We are older so it's not decades away and as a spouse, with kids, you get survivor's benefits. And, I'd get my husband's small pension on top of social security, plus life insurance. And, that's why we made sure to live within our means, save and do things like pay off the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want to know what their Plan B is when the kids leave for college or if a divorce happens.

I have a bunch of money. I’m more like someone who retired really early than like someone who was dying to be a SAHM. I didn’t really like my job so it was an easy call.

Same. I have a bunch of money. I feel I retired early. I also adored my kids and wanted to labor on their betterment and behalf instead of my employer. So, it was easy for me to quit and pour my energy and efforts on my kids.

Job is job. It was not my passion. I was working to earn money because we wanted to climb the ladder of wealth. But after a certain threshold of wealth was earned, I valued my time with my kids. Also, my DH's goals for our family aligned with mine. We wanted our domestic life to be stess-free, have a good enriched lifestyle and have good health and relationships. We also wanted our kids to thrive and succeed. All of that was managed by me and everyone benefited.

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want to know what their Plan B is when the kids leave for college or if a divorce happens.

I have a bunch of money. I’m more like someone who retired really early than like someone who was dying to be a SAHM. I didn’t really like my job so it was an easy call.

Same. I have a bunch of money. I feel I retired early. I also adored my kids and wanted to labor on their betterment and behalf instead of my employer. So, it was easy for me to quit and pour my energy and efforts on my kids.

Job is job. It was not my passion. I was working to earn money because we wanted to climb the ladder of wealth. But after a certain threshold of wealth was earned, I valued my time with my kids. Also, my DH's goals for our family aligned with mine. We wanted our domestic life to be stess-free, have a good enriched lifestyle and have good health and relationships. We also wanted our kids to thrive and succeed. All of that was managed by me and everyone benefited.

Nicely said. When you die, your kids, who are most important, will not care about whether you worked or not if you can provide for them, but they will care about the time you spend with them and the priority you make them. And, hopefully, they will do the same for their kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think about them.

I do think about them once who are divorced or widowed because people make go fund me accounts and I think, nope.

But you do get to feel smug and superior so they are adding to your quality of life, right?

Neither smug nor superior.

Nope. I just am not giving them money because they refuse to work for money.

I don’t understand not working but begging for money. Get a job!

+1

Its a matter of resources. Your circle sounds poor. Any Gofundme requests I see are from poor women, not rich ones, no matter employed ones or SAHMs.

Except for Alyssa Milano

https://www.usatoday.com/story/entertainment/celebrities/2024/01/26/alyssa-milano-gofundme-son-baseball-team-response/72368501007/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think about them.

I do think about them once who are divorced or widowed because people make go fund me accounts and I think, nope.

But you do get to feel smug and superior so they are adding to your quality of life, right?

Neither smug nor superior.

Nope. I just am not giving them money because they refuse to work for money.

I don’t understand not working but begging for money. Get a job!

+1

Its a matter of resources. Your circle sounds poor. Any Gofundme requests I see are from poor women, not rich ones, no matter employed ones or SAHMs.

Except for Alyssa Milano

https://www.usatoday.com/story/entertainment/celebrities/2024/01/26/alyssa-milano-gofundme-son-baseball-team-response/72368501007/

That is bizarre BUT, most sports teams fundraise and all the families on that team may not be wealthy like she is.

[Anonymous]

OP sounds like another ugly WOHM married to a low earner.

[Anonymous]

I think the women who truly resent SAHMs are in unhappy marriages, in which their relationship with their spouse is entirely transactional. They simply cannot fathom a happy, loving couple who truly work as a team and are happy (and not remotely resentful) to divide the labor in a different way. They cannot wrap their brains around the idea that a man might truly love and respect his wife and her contributions to the family (as the poster in this thread gushing about his own wife appears to).

To them (and their husbands, most likely) the world revolves around money and prestige.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s great! Personally, I work ( one day on site) because my mental health stays better that way but running a household properly is no joke and hats off to women who do it 24x7. My mom has been a SAHM and growing up it was great to have a nice clean house, good meals and emotional support.

These tasks can be done my a man also but let’s face reality that most of the time women have better personalities to manage household, manage kids etc.

Give me good mothers and I will give you a great nation quote by Napoleon rings true even in this century.

In short, I think these women are awesome and doing a very noble task of raising a family, we see in our everyday lives how kids of absent parents behave and how much trouble they can get into.