Be honest- what do you think about women who are content to be just wives and mothers?

[Anonymous]

Full time parenting is tough and boring, much easier to earn and pay someone else to do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this is something frequently debated amongst women in their 30s and 40s and thank God, completely dropped in their 50s. Not because kids are grown and it doesn’t matter, but because it becomes apparent that whether someone was a SAHM or not just doesn’t matter. Everyone made the best decisions they could for their families and hopefully ended up with purposeful, fulfilled lives and so did their kids. The meaningless comparisons just intended to prop up the one doing the comparing…they just fade away.

I'm not yet in my 50s, but I love this response. I'm a full-time working mom, but I don't give two ****s if other moms work or not. Parenting is rough, and I don't begrudge moms who decide to do that, without also doing a full-time job. I do both because I'm passionate about my work and I'm worried about what would happen financially to my family if my husband loses his job. What DOES irritate me is if they don't volunteer for anything at all... like, regardless of what you do during the day, can you volunteer a few hours at some point during the month to help others? SAHMs who don't help out with the PTA or at whatever other group they are a part of, all the while reaping the benefits of those organizations, THAT is what irritates me.

[Anonymous]

It’s all I ever wanted, but could never achieve it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is something frequently debated amongst women in their 30s and 40s and thank God, completely dropped in their 50s. Not because kids are grown and it doesn’t matter, but because it becomes apparent that whether someone was a SAHM or not just doesn’t matter. Everyone made the best decisions they could for their families and hopefully ended up with purposeful, fulfilled lives and so did their kids. The meaningless comparisons just intended to prop up the one doing the comparing…they just fade away.

I'm not yet in my 50s, but I love this response. I'm a full-time working mom, but I don't give two ****s if other moms work or not. Parenting is rough, and I don't begrudge moms who decide to do that, without also doing a full-time job. I do both because I'm passionate about my work and I'm worried about what would happen financially to my family if my husband loses his job. What DOES irritate me is if they don't volunteer for anything at all... like, regardless of what you do during the day, can you volunteer a few hours at some point during the month to help others? SAHMs who don't help out with the PTA or at whatever other group they are a part of, all the while reaping the benefits of those organizations, THAT is what irritates me.

Nope. Stop expecting women to work for free. If the PTA does anything worth doing then someone should be paid for it. I didn’t take a financial hit for my family in order to provide free labor for yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do kind of look down on them though l would never say that. I love working at a job that is very interesting and challenging. I would never choose to cook and clean and drive kids around over my job. I don’t mind cooking a few times a week and am happy to pay for cleaners and child care and private school and spend quality engaged time with my kids, over quantity.

I'm glad you're happy with your choice! A lot of families with SAHMs pay for cleaners and private school too. Do you look down on them too or just the ones that are doing their own cooking and cleaning?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do kind of look down on them though l would never say that. I love working at a job that is very interesting and challenging. I would never choose to cook and clean and drive kids around over my job. I don’t mind cooking a few times a week and am happy to pay for cleaners and child care and private school and spend quality engaged time with my kids, over quantity.

I look down on you because you like your job more than your kids.

I like my kids just fine, but not all day every day. I like both my kids, and my job.

I think we know what she thinks of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do kind of look down on them though l would never say that. I love working at a job that is very interesting and challenging. I would never choose to cook and clean and drive kids around over my job. I don’t mind cooking a few times a week and am happy to pay for cleaners and child care and private school and spend quality engaged time with my kids, over quantity.

Eh, I'm a SAHM and I would rather you just say this to my face. Your superiority complex says nothing about me and a whole lot about you. Feel free to be honest and do let us know how that works for you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Inspired by a quote by Nicole Kosman’s character from the Expats. What do you truly think about women who just want to stay home, tend to the family and are happiest doing this if they can afford to?

Wish my wife would. She doesn’t like her job. I make plenty of money and have a low stress job with lots of flexibility. We have already commingled our finances and we aren’t going to get divorced. If the situation was reversed I’d quit in a heartbeat. She adamantly refuses to and lets work stress screw things up frequently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is something frequently debated amongst women in their 30s and 40s and thank God, completely dropped in their 50s. Not because kids are grown and it doesn’t matter, but because it becomes apparent that whether someone was a SAHM or not just doesn’t matter. Everyone made the best decisions they could for their families and hopefully ended up with purposeful, fulfilled lives and so did their kids. The meaningless comparisons just intended to prop up the one doing the comparing…they just fade away.

I'm not yet in my 50s, but I love this response. I'm a full-time working mom, but I don't give two ****s if other moms work or not. Parenting is rough, and I don't begrudge moms who decide to do that, without also doing a full-time job. I do both because I'm passionate about my work and I'm worried about what would happen financially to my family if my husband loses his job. What DOES irritate me is if they don't volunteer for anything at all... like, regardless of what you do during the day, can you volunteer a few hours at some point during the month to help others? SAHMs who don't help out with the PTA or at whatever other group they are a part of, all the while reaping the benefits of those organizations, THAT is what irritates me.

Nope. Stop expecting women to work for free. If the PTA does anything worth doing then someone should be paid for it. I didn’t take a financial hit for my family in order to provide free labor for yours.

Wow. Quite the commentary on volunteering and charity. You sound like a peach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do kind of look down on them though l would never say that. I love working at a job that is very interesting and challenging. I would never choose to cook and clean and drive kids around over my job. I don’t mind cooking a few times a week and am happy to pay for cleaners and child care and private school and spend quality engaged time with my kids, over quantity.

I look down on you because you like your job more than your kids.

I like my kids just fine, but not all day every day. I like both my kids, and my job.

exactly- but I love my kids more!/s this whole thing is so tired.

The pope who have it the best are my grandparents generation who had full time staff to do teh driving/errand running, cooking, cleaning etc and basically had much more genteel lives and parented but weren't exhausted. Even if you SAHM the way people do now and weren't that loaded, having a cleaner or help like Alice in 5th Brady Bunch or Susan in Anne of Ingleside is so much more humane. teh amount of rushing around and peasant liek Labour we all have to do now is awful WOHM,, WAHM or SAHM. teh idea of 1 person just slavinh away with no help is breathtakingly awful and lonely

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do kind of look down on them though l would never say that. I love working at a job that is very interesting and challenging. I would never choose to cook and clean and drive kids around over my job. I don’t mind cooking a few times a week and am happy to pay for cleaners and child care and private school and spend quality engaged time with my kids, over quantity.

I look down on you because you like your job more than your kids.

I like my kids just fine, but not all day every day. I like both my kids, and my job.

exactly- but I love my kids more!/s this whole thing is so tired.

The pope who have it the best are my grandparents generation who had full time staff to do teh driving/errand running, cooking, cleaning etc and basically had much more genteel lives and parented but weren't exhausted. Even if you SAHM the way people do now and weren't that loaded, having a cleaner or help like Alice in 5th Brady Bunch or Susan in Anne of Ingleside is so much more humane. teh amount of rushing around and peasant liek Labour we all have to do now is awful WOHM,, WAHM or SAHM. teh idea of 1 person just slavinh away with no help is breathtakingly awful and lonely

? Yeah, rich people usually do have it best but I don't think that's a generational thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's great. I am perfectly content. I have a master's degree and worked a low paying job for about 10 years before staying home as child care for one would have been my entire salary and my job sucked. I planned to go back but then things popped up and they were more important.

Why are you so judgemental against others who make different lifestyle choices than yourself?

I distrust SAHMs because, in my experience, they construct ridiculous sets of values and criteria for how a woman and a mother should behave, parent, and look, that practically only wealthy SAHMs can achieve, in order to judge WOHMs and feel superior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is something frequently debated amongst women in their 30s and 40s and thank God, completely dropped in their 50s. Not because kids are grown and it doesn’t matter, but because it becomes apparent that whether someone was a SAHM or not just doesn’t matter. Everyone made the best decisions they could for their families and hopefully ended up with purposeful, fulfilled lives and so did their kids. The meaningless comparisons just intended to prop up the one doing the comparing…they just fade away.

I'm not yet in my 50s, but I love this response. I'm a full-time working mom, but I don't give two ****s if other moms work or not. Parenting is rough, and I don't begrudge moms who decide to do that, without also doing a full-time job. I do both because I'm passionate about my work and I'm worried about what would happen financially to my family if my husband loses his job. What DOES irritate me is if they don't volunteer for anything at all... like, regardless of what you do during the day, can you volunteer a few hours at some point during the month to help others? SAHMs who don't help out with the PTA or at whatever other group they are a part of, all the while reaping the benefits of those organizations, THAT is what irritates me.

Nope. Stop expecting women to work for free. If the PTA does anything worth doing then someone should be paid for it. I didn’t take a financial hit for my family in order to provide free labor for yours.

Wow. Quite the commentary on volunteering and charity. You sound like a peach.

You can feel free to “look down on me” for not “volunteering” at the school (because you don’t want to pay for that either).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Inspired by a quote by Nicole Kosman’s character from the Expats. What do you truly think about women who just want to stay home, tend to the family and are happiest doing this if they can afford to?

Wish my wife would. She doesn’t like her job. I make plenty of money and have a low stress job with lots of flexibility. We have already commingled our finances and we aren’t going to get divorced. If the situation was reversed I’d quit in a heartbeat. She adamantly refuses to and lets work stress screw things up frequently.

I think I know who you are. You sound like my friend's husband, who has no appreciation for (or interest in learning) what his wife's job means to her, regardless of the stress involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Inspired by a quote by Nicole Kosman’s character from the Expats. What do you truly think about women who just want to stay home, tend to the family and are happiest doing this if they can afford to?

Wish my wife would. She doesn’t like her job. I make plenty of money and have a low stress job with lots of flexibility. We have already commingled our finances and we aren’t going to get divorced. If the situation was reversed I’d quit in a heartbeat. She adamantly refuses to and lets work stress screw things up frequently.

If you're so sure, then put everything in her name and she might feel better about pulling back a bit.