Does this warrant an appointment with a counselor?

[Anonymous]

Seek therapy asap

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our kids, oldest is 11, really dislike babies and toddlers. Our oldest has been like this since she herself was a toddler. Disliked dolls also. She’s very vocal about her dislike and I think the younger ones pick up on it.

Recently, she said something concerning. She said that if she saw a baby stranded on the side of the road, she would just leave it to die. The younger ones chimed in to say that they would do the same. Said that she hates babies and there’s too many humans on this planet and humans ruin everything. Knowing her I think it’s just that she thinks so black and white and knows way too much about the causes of climate change and then coupled with her already dislike of babies, she logically thinks it’s better to let the baby die.

I have tried to change their view of babies and toddlers but to no avail. They have younger cousins who adore them. But our kids want nothing to do with them. They have never ever been mean or unkind, but they generally ignore them. I feel bad that they are not friendlier. Our younger ones are a bit more flexible. Even though they hate them and complain about them to us, they will be nice enough to play with them, answer their questions, help them with something, or teach them something- albeit begrudgingly (on the inside).

Our oldest won’t even do that though.

She says similar things about humans in general- just a lack of concern, empathy, and value for someone’s life.

Would you be concerned?

I would be very concerned because lack of empathy is a strong indicator of psychopathy and leaving a baby on the side of the road to die is as lacking in basic empathy as it gets. I realize she’s just saying it and may not actually act in that way given the circumstances but I think more normative thinking in a child would be geared toward nurture and compassion even if they didn’t want babies or like babies themselves.

I don’t meant to put fear in you but having worked for years in criminal justice I have a lot of experience with abnormal psychology having read hundreds upon hundreds of psych assessments tied to juvenile and adult criminal cases.

There is new thinking about identifying psychopathy in kids and intervening with early treatment in family therapy that teaches parents the tools to teach empathy and the research and clinical work in juvenile systems suggests the earlier kids get intervention the better they can do functioning in life and society. Not all psychopaths are violent criminals I’m not suggesting that - but all psychopaths who don’t get treatment will suffer emotional disconnect in their human experience so I think it is worth considering.

Here’s an article to get you started and I do suggest you contact a good child psychiatrist to get your child assessed and get her and yourselves into family therapy. Even if she doesn’t assess as psychopathy she is clearly struggling with dark thinking and that is not likely to get better by itself as she goes through the upheavals of puberty.

https://modlab.yale.edu/news/there-are-no-child-psychopaths-because-we-cant-diagnose-them-yet-vice

This is a complete and total overreaction.

This person is basing their view on professional experience.

You are opining.

See the difference.

OP, you need to not allow her to dominate the younger kids this way. You need to tell them how excited you were to give birth to them and how much you love them and are glad they are part of your family.

Have the cousins do fun activities with your younger kids without the older there. Build family bonds and memories.

I would limit the internet exposure of the oldest as well as monitor her influences. It's not healthy for a child to be so nihilistic so young. Where is her father re: this? Who is she hearing go on about climate change and overpopulation? I'd shut that down and diversify her interests and influences.

[Anonymous]

Here’s an article to get you started and I do suggest you contact a good child psychiatrist to get your child assessed and get her and yourselves into family therapy. Even if she doesn’t assess as psychopathy she is clearly struggling with dark thinking and that is not likely to get better by itself as she goes through the upheavals of puberty.

OP, not only does your older child need an eval and help by a psychiatrist, not a "therapist" but the point about family therapy is key. You have allowed a tween to so dominate and shape your younger children that they now share and parrot HER twisted and anti-human values rather than yours. Not only do they parrot them, they act them out toward family. Your entire family dynamic is very disturbed. Your older child should not have this type of power, like some mini cult leader in the family.

What is your DH like? Is he very dark and macabre too?

I would act quickly to find a child psychiatrist with relevant experience and ask them for advice re: family therapy approaches and providers. I'd also cut off internet, and monitor books, music and other dark themes. This is way above a "counselor" you need her assessed for underlying psychiatric and mood disorders by a psychiatrist, a medical doctor, as a first step.

Are you depressed, OP? Why have you been so passive re: the oldest child? Why has she been given free rein to indoctrinate the others with views you do not share? Is she parroting views of your DH? Is he STEM? Does the older child have friends her own age? She may well be autistic and be in need of interventions.

[Anonymous]

OP here. DH is exactly like my older child, except more nuanced. He completely agrees with my older child and thinks she sees things more clearly than anyone else. I am completely outnumbered and I get out-argued every time. DH very much enjoys dark themes and exposes our kids to them at what I think is way too young of an age. If I put my foot down, he does it secretly or behind my back, which then forms a stronger bond between him and the kids. Or we end up in a huge argument, where he calls me WAY overprotective and controlling, but we will never see eye to eye on this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She deserves for you to take this seriously, imo. Not because of the one comment but the larger issue of lack of empathy. Whether it’s asd, sociopathy (not that rare) or just rigidity, she will need tools and trusted confidantes to have a happy life and relationships.

Don’t shame her or guilt her but ask her to talk to you about these things in private rather than with siblings. Kudos for asking the question, OP. I know parents who have one child seriously lacking in empathy and they’re in total denial.

“Empathy” is a pretty subjective concept that is IMO not appropriately applied most often. People talk about it as if kids are supposed to be literal angels. All OP said is that the girl doesn’t like babies and said something designed to get attention about it. She plays well with siblings and friends. There is no “empathy” issue here.

The first post is not indicated she plays well with young kids it's actually her younger siblings that do better with the cousins but she has absolutely nothing to do with them.
Okay I'll be honest I think you're in denial that she doesn't have issues at school if she's this rigid and dismissive of people then she's having issues at school. She says weird things outlandish things super rigid. Does she have close friends? does she have more than a few friends? is she invited to things? More than that the absence of issues does not technically mean that there are no issues. If she's not getting into fights and she's doing her school work then she's going to get no attention from teachers or the admin. This is technically why girls are underdiagnosed in a lot of different areas because unless they are actively creating problems then there are other issues for admin and teachers to deal with.
You know your child outside of academic areas and you need to see the whole picture and not just that she's a good girl who gets good grades or that she's super smart. There is more to navigating the adult world than being smart.
And for those of you insist that if this were a boy that wouldn't be an issue you have some severe gender issues if my son we're 11 years old and said that I would seriously be concerned. One they need to learn how to say that they don't like things without being insulting. And two she's 11 not quite in that tween shock statement era. And three she actually has behaviors that back up her statement so that makes it more concerning because it's not just a shock statement. Four at this age you would expect that yes they say shocking statements but to have no concern about the backlash from it societally is also concerning.

11 is the epicenter of tween shock value.

she is not just saying stuff. She backs up her statements with actions which means they are beliefs. She is extremely rigid by OPs accounts and is influenced younger siblings.
Shock value is not the concern here. This is akin to boys fighting. Just because it's normal doesn't mean it should be ignored.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. DH is exactly like my older child, except more nuanced. He completely agrees with my older child and thinks she sees things more clearly than anyone else. I am completely outnumbered and I get out-argued every time. DH very much enjoys dark themes and exposes our kids to them at what I think is way too young of an age. If I put my foot down, he does it secretly or behind my back, which then forms a stronger bond between him and the kids. Or we end up in a huge argument, where he calls me WAY overprotective and controlling, but we will never see eye to eye on this.

What a mess. Why the hell would you be with and procreate with this goon? I have never understood people who confuse cruelty with intelligence, or brutality with honesty.

Get help for her, and discipline her as the grown, rational, capable adult you are, and when she acts an absolute unfiltered a-hole to her baby cousins, make clear to your younger ones that DD is behaving unkindly and where they model her, they’ll face restriction, too. Your DH doesn’t have to be on board with this. It’ll be hard, but every excuse you make simultaneously states “I’m raising a troubled d-ck and don’t give a damn about it.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. DH is exactly like my older child, except more nuanced. He completely agrees with my older child and thinks she sees things more clearly than anyone else. I am completely outnumbered and I get out-argued every time. DH very much enjoys dark themes and exposes our kids to them at what I think is way too young of an age. If I put my foot down, he does it secretly or behind my back, which then forms a stronger bond between him and the kids. Or we end up in a huge argument, where he calls me WAY overprotective and controlling, but we will never see eye to eye on this.

What a mess. Why the hell would you be with and procreate with this goon? I have never understood people who confuse cruelty with intelligence, or brutality with honesty.

Get help for her, and discipline her as the grown, rational, capable adult you are, and when she acts an absolute unfiltered a-hole to her baby cousins, make clear to your younger ones that DD is behaving unkindly and where they model her, they’ll face restriction, too. Your DH doesn’t have to be on board with this. It’ll be hard, but every excuse you make simultaneously states “I’m raising a troubled d-ck and don’t give a damn about it.”

I never said she acts unkindly to her younger cousins. Not the case at all. She ignores them, and has zero interest in them. There's a difference - she is never an "unfiltered a-hole" to them. When they harass her, she is never mean, cruel, or dismissive. She answers their questions, and then quietly excuses herself to go read a book somewhere else. She just wants to be left alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our kids, oldest is 11, really dislike babies and toddlers. Our oldest has been like this since she herself was a toddler. Disliked dolls also. She’s very vocal about her dislike and I think the younger ones pick up on it.

Recently, she said something concerning. She said that if she saw a baby stranded on the side of the road, she would just leave it to die. The younger ones chimed in to say that they would do the same. Said that she hates babies and there’s too many humans on this planet and humans ruin everything. Knowing her I think it’s just that she thinks so black and white and knows way too much about the causes of climate change and then coupled with her already dislike of babies, she logically thinks it’s better to let the baby die.

I have tried to change their view of babies and toddlers but to no avail. They have younger cousins who adore them. But our kids want nothing to do with them. They have never ever been mean or unkind, but they generally ignore them. I feel bad that they are not friendlier. Our younger ones are a bit more flexible. Even though they hate them and complain about them to us, they will be nice enough to play with them, answer their questions, help them with something, or teach them something- albeit begrudgingly (on the inside).

Our oldest won’t even do that though.

She says similar things about humans in general- just a lack of concern, empathy, and value for someone’s life.

Would you be concerned?

I would be very concerned because lack of empathy is a strong indicator of psychopathy and leaving a baby on the side of the road to die is as lacking in basic empathy as it gets. I realize she’s just saying it and may not actually act in that way given the circumstances but I think more normative thinking in a child would be geared toward nurture and compassion even if they didn’t want babies or like babies themselves.

I don’t meant to put fear in you but having worked for years in criminal justice I have a lot of experience with abnormal psychology having read hundreds upon hundreds of psych assessments tied to juvenile and adult criminal cases.

There is new thinking about identifying psychopathy in kids and intervening with early treatment in family therapy that teaches parents the tools to teach empathy and the research and clinical work in juvenile systems suggests the earlier kids get intervention the better they can do functioning in life and society. Not all psychopaths are violent criminals I’m not suggesting that - but all psychopaths who don’t get treatment will suffer emotional disconnect in their human experience so I think it is worth considering.

Here’s an article to get you started and I do suggest you contact a good child psychiatrist to get your child assessed and get her and yourselves into family therapy. Even if she doesn’t assess as psychopathy she is clearly struggling with dark thinking and that is not likely to get better by itself as she goes through the upheavals of puberty.

https://modlab.yale.edu/news/there-are-no-child-psychopaths-because-we-cant-diagnose-them-yet-vice

This is a complete and total overreaction.

This person is basing their view on professional experience.

You are opining.

See the difference.

OP, you need to not allow her to dominate the younger kids this way. You need to tell them how excited you were to give birth to them and how much you love them and are glad they are part of your family.

Have the cousins do fun activities with your younger kids without the older there. Build family bonds and memories.

I would limit the internet exposure of the oldest as well as monitor her influences. It's not healthy for a child to be so nihilistic so young. Where is her father re: this? Who is she hearing go on about climate change and overpopulation? I'd shut that down and diversify her interests and influences.

What? No, that PP had no relevant professional experience. Reading criminal case files is not experience in child psychology. You on the other hand have an extreme antediluvian viewpoint about the need for children to rigidly conform to a “good innocent child” stereotype that is bound to cause the type of mental dysfunction you claim to be concerned about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She deserves for you to take this seriously, imo. Not because of the one comment but the larger issue of lack of empathy. Whether it’s asd, sociopathy (not that rare) or just rigidity, she will need tools and trusted confidantes to have a happy life and relationships.

Don’t shame her or guilt her but ask her to talk to you about these things in private rather than with siblings. Kudos for asking the question, OP. I know parents who have one child seriously lacking in empathy and they’re in total denial.

“Empathy” is a pretty subjective concept that is IMO not appropriately applied most often. People talk about it as if kids are supposed to be literal angels. All OP said is that the girl doesn’t like babies and said something designed to get attention about it. She plays well with siblings and friends. There is no “empathy” issue here.

The first post is not indicated she plays well with young kids it's actually her younger siblings that do better with the cousins but she has absolutely nothing to do with them.
Okay I'll be honest I think you're in denial that she doesn't have issues at school if she's this rigid and dismissive of people then she's having issues at school. She says weird things outlandish things super rigid. Does she have close friends? does she have more than a few friends? is she invited to things? More than that the absence of issues does not technically mean that there are no issues. If she's not getting into fights and she's doing her school work then she's going to get no attention from teachers or the admin. This is technically why girls are underdiagnosed in a lot of different areas because unless they are actively creating problems then there are other issues for admin and teachers to deal with.
You know your child outside of academic areas and you need to see the whole picture and not just that she's a good girl who gets good grades or that she's super smart. There is more to navigating the adult world than being smart.
And for those of you insist that if this were a boy that wouldn't be an issue you have some severe gender issues if my son we're 11 years old and said that I would seriously be concerned. One they need to learn how to say that they don't like things without being insulting. And two she's 11 not quite in that tween shock statement era. And three she actually has behaviors that back up her statement so that makes it more concerning because it's not just a shock statement. Four at this age you would expect that yes they say shocking statements but to have no concern about the backlash from it societally is also concerning.

11 is the epicenter of tween shock value.

she is not just saying stuff. She backs up her statements with actions which means they are beliefs. She is extremely rigid by OPs accounts and is influenced younger siblings.
Shock value is not the concern here. This is akin to boys fighting. Just because it's normal doesn't mean it should be ignored.

Actions? What actions?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. DH is exactly like my older child, except more nuanced. He completely agrees with my older child and thinks she sees things more clearly than anyone else. I am completely outnumbered and I get out-argued every time. DH very much enjoys dark themes and exposes our kids to them at what I think is way too young of an age. If I put my foot down, he does it secretly or behind my back, which then forms a stronger bond between him and the kids. Or we end up in a huge argument, where he calls me WAY overprotective and controlling, but we will never see eye to eye on this.

What a mess. Why the hell would you be with and procreate with this goon? I have never understood people who confuse cruelty with intelligence, or brutality with honesty.

Get help for her, and discipline her as the grown, rational, capable adult you are, and when she acts an absolute unfiltered a-hole to her baby cousins, make clear to your younger ones that DD is behaving unkindly and where they model her, they’ll face restriction, too. Your DH doesn’t have to be on board with this. It’ll be hard, but every excuse you make simultaneously states “I’m raising a troubled d-ck and don’t give a damn about it.”

I never said she acts unkindly to her younger cousins. Not the case at all. She ignores them, and has zero interest in them. There's a difference - she is never an "unfiltered a-hole" to them. When they harass her, she is never mean, cruel, or dismissive. She answers their questions, and then quietly excuses herself to go read a book somewhere else. She just wants to be left alone.

The only time she expresses her dislike and annoyance towards her younger cousins or younger kids in general is to her siblings, or to DH and me. She knows better than to express that to others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. DH is exactly like my older child, except more nuanced. He completely agrees with my older child and thinks she sees things more clearly than anyone else. I am completely outnumbered and I get out-argued every time. DH very much enjoys dark themes and exposes our kids to them at what I think is way too young of an age. If I put my foot down, he does it secretly or behind my back, which then forms a stronger bond between him and the kids. Or we end up in a huge argument, where he calls me WAY overprotective and controlling, but we will never see eye to eye on this.

What a mess. Why the hell would you be with and procreate with this goon? I have never understood people who confuse cruelty with intelligence, or brutality with honesty.

Get help for her, and discipline her as the grown, rational, capable adult you are, and when she acts an absolute unfiltered a-hole to her baby cousins, make clear to your younger ones that DD is behaving unkindly and where they model her, they’ll face restriction, too. Your DH doesn’t have to be on board with this. It’ll be hard, but every excuse you make simultaneously states “I’m raising a troubled d-ck and don’t give a damn about it.”

I never said she acts unkindly to her younger cousins. Not the case at all. She ignores them, and has zero interest in them. There's a difference - she is never an "unfiltered a-hole" to them. When they harass her, she is never mean, cruel, or dismissive. She answers their questions, and then quietly excuses herself to go read a book somewhere else. She just wants to be left alone.

You win! Sounds like things are going great! You wrote the kids “hate” their cousins, but hey, totally normal, and so is your husband and his “dark themes.” Couldn’t be and thankfully is not me - and my husband and DC are not fake sunny robots. Enjoy the “depth”!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. DH is exactly like my older child, except more nuanced. He completely agrees with my older child and thinks she sees things more clearly than anyone else. I am completely outnumbered and I get out-argued every time. DH very much enjoys dark themes and exposes our kids to them at what I think is way too young of an age. If I put my foot down, he does it secretly or behind my back, which then forms a stronger bond between him and the kids. Or we end up in a huge argument, where he calls me WAY overprotective and controlling, but we will never see eye to eye on this.

What a mess. Why the hell would you be with and procreate with this goon? I have never understood people who confuse cruelty with intelligence, or brutality with honesty.

Get help for her, and discipline her as the grown, rational, capable adult you are, and when she acts an absolute unfiltered a-hole to her baby cousins, make clear to your younger ones that DD is behaving unkindly and where they model her, they’ll face restriction, too. Your DH doesn’t have to be on board with this. It’ll be hard, but every excuse you make simultaneously states “I’m raising a troubled d-ck and don’t give a damn about it.”

I never said she acts unkindly to her younger cousins. Not the case at all. She ignores them, and has zero interest in them. There's a difference - she is never an "unfiltered a-hole" to them. When they harass her, she is never mean, cruel, or dismissive. She answers their questions, and then quietly excuses herself to go read a book somewhere else. She just wants to be left alone.

OP your daughter is *fine.* She’s old enough to get some lectures to you about the likely consequences of saying shocking things in public. I have that conversation all the time with my DS. There is no therapy to make girls like babies and if there was, it would likely be tremendously abusive.

As for your DH and exposure to media you can try putting your foot down or at least compromising on it. But 5 Nights at Freddys or whatever is not going to turn your child into a psychopath.

The root of this concern of yours truly seems to be that your daughter does not conform to the stereotype of a young girl. Please try to let that go, and pay more attention to actual challenges she may need support with, and nurturing the talents she has. (And all kids have challenges of one sort or another.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. DH is exactly like my older child, except more nuanced. He completely agrees with my older child and thinks she sees things more clearly than anyone else. I am completely outnumbered and I get out-argued every time. DH very much enjoys dark themes and exposes our kids to them at what I think is way too young of an age. If I put my foot down, he does it secretly or behind my back, which then forms a stronger bond between him and the kids. Or we end up in a huge argument, where he calls me WAY overprotective and controlling, but we will never see eye to eye on this.

What a mess. Why the hell would you be with and procreate with this goon? I have never understood people who confuse cruelty with intelligence, or brutality with honesty.

Get help for her, and discipline her as the grown, rational, capable adult you are, and when she acts an absolute unfiltered a-hole to her baby cousins, make clear to your younger ones that DD is behaving unkindly and where they model her, they’ll face restriction, too. Your DH doesn’t have to be on board with this. It’ll be hard, but every excuse you make simultaneously states “I’m raising a troubled d-ck and don’t give a damn about it.”

I never said she acts unkindly to her younger cousins. Not the case at all. She ignores them, and has zero interest in them. There's a difference - she is never an "unfiltered a-hole" to them. When they harass her, she is never mean, cruel, or dismissive. She answers their questions, and then quietly excuses herself to go read a book somewhere else. She just wants to be left alone.

You win! Sounds like things are going great! You wrote the kids “hate” their cousins, but hey, totally normal, and so is your husband and his “dark themes.” Couldn’t be and thankfully is not me - and my husband and DC are not fake sunny robots. Enjoy the “depth”!

Didn't realize this was a competition... but ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. DH is exactly like my older child, except more nuanced. He completely agrees with my older child and thinks she sees things more clearly than anyone else. I am completely outnumbered and I get out-argued every time. DH very much enjoys dark themes and exposes our kids to them at what I think is way too young of an age. If I put my foot down, he does it secretly or behind my back, which then forms a stronger bond between him and the kids. Or we end up in a huge argument, where he calls me WAY overprotective and controlling, but we will never see eye to eye on this.

What a mess. Why the hell would you be with and procreate with this goon? I have never understood people who confuse cruelty with intelligence, or brutality with honesty.

Get help for her, and discipline her as the grown, rational, capable adult you are, and when she acts an absolute unfiltered a-hole to her baby cousins, make clear to your younger ones that DD is behaving unkindly and where they model her, they’ll face restriction, too. Your DH doesn’t have to be on board with this. It’ll be hard, but every excuse you make simultaneously states “I’m raising a troubled d-ck and don’t give a damn about it.”

I never said she acts unkindly to her younger cousins. Not the case at all. She ignores them, and has zero interest in them. There's a difference - she is never an "unfiltered a-hole" to them. When they harass her, she is never mean, cruel, or dismissive. She answers their questions, and then quietly excuses herself to go read a book somewhere else. She just wants to be left alone.

You win! Sounds like things are going great! You wrote the kids “hate” their cousins, but hey, totally normal, and so is your husband and his “dark themes.” Couldn’t be and thankfully is not me - and my husband and DC are not fake sunny robots. Enjoy the “depth”!

You have issues PP. Why does this trigger you? Projecting?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. DH is exactly like my older child, except more nuanced. He completely agrees with my older child and thinks she sees things more clearly than anyone else. I am completely outnumbered and I get out-argued every time. DH very much enjoys dark themes and exposes our kids to them at what I think is way too young of an age. If I put my foot down, he does it secretly or behind my back, which then forms a stronger bond between him and the kids. Or we end up in a huge argument, where he calls me WAY overprotective and controlling, but we will never see eye to eye on this.

What a mess. Why the hell would you be with and procreate with this goon? I have never understood people who confuse cruelty with intelligence, or brutality with honesty.

Get help for her, and discipline her as the grown, rational, capable adult you are, and when she acts an absolute unfiltered a-hole to her baby cousins, make clear to your younger ones that DD is behaving unkindly and where they model her, they’ll face restriction, too. Your DH doesn’t have to be on board with this. It’ll be hard, but every excuse you make simultaneously states “I’m raising a troubled d-ck and don’t give a damn about it.”

I never said she acts unkindly to her younger cousins. Not the case at all. She ignores them, and has zero interest in them. There's a difference - she is never an "unfiltered a-hole" to them. When they harass her, she is never mean, cruel, or dismissive. She answers their questions, and then quietly excuses herself to go read a book somewhere else. She just wants to be left alone.

You win! Sounds like things are going great! You wrote the kids “hate” their cousins, but hey, totally normal, and so is your husband and his “dark themes.” Couldn’t be and thankfully is not me - and my husband and DC are not fake sunny robots. Enjoy the “depth”!

You have issues PP. Why does this trigger you? Projecting?

Yes. Yes, you have extraordinary psychological insight! Certainly there’s nothing odd about your misinterpretation(s) of other posts, claiming that people are disquieted only due to stereotypes about girls loving babies. Thank you for the nuance.

OP asked for help for a reason, but she’s retreating because she’s way more used to her husband and oldest treating her like an anxious idiot, and ignoring things that trouble or even demean her. It’s a choice. There’s a lot of space between a tween not liking babies, and what OP posted.