Reply to Does this warrant an appointment with a counselor?

Forum Index » Elementary School-Aged Kids

Reply to "Does this warrant an appointment with a counselor? "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Our kids, oldest is 11, really dislike babies and toddlers. Our oldest has been like this since she herself was a toddler. Disliked dolls also. She’s very vocal about her dislike and I think the younger ones pick up on it.

Recently, she said something concerning. She said that if she saw a baby stranded on the side of the road, she would just leave it to die. The younger ones chimed in to say that they would do the same. Said that she hates babies and there’s too many humans on this planet and humans ruin everything. Knowing her I think it’s just that she thinks so black and white and knows way too much about the causes of climate change and then coupled with her already dislike of babies, she logically thinks it’s better to let the baby die.

I have tried to change their view of babies and toddlers but to no avail. They have younger cousins who adore them. But our kids want nothing to do with them.  They have never ever been mean or unkind, but they generally ignore them. I feel bad that they are not friendlier. Our younger ones are a bit more flexible. Even though they hate them and complain about them to us, they will be nice enough to play with them, answer their questions, help them with something, or teach them something- albeit begrudgingly (on the inside).

Our oldest won’t even do that though.

[b]She says similar things about humans in general- just a lack of concern, [/b]empathy, and value for someone’s life.

Would you be concerned?[/quote]

I would be very concerned because lack of empathy is a strong indicator of psychopathy and leaving a baby on the side of the road to die is as lacking in basic empathy as it gets. I realize she’s just saying it and may not actually act in that way given the circumstances but I think more normative thinking in a child would be geared toward nurture and compassion even if they didn’t want babies or like babies themselves.

I don’t meant to put fear in you but having worked for years in criminal justice I have a lot of experience with abnormal psychology having read hundreds upon hundreds of psych assessments tied to juvenile and adult criminal cases.

There is new thinking about identifying psychopathy in kids and intervening with early treatment in family therapy that teaches parents the tools to teach empathy and the research and clinical work in juvenile systems suggests the earlier kids get intervention the better they can do functioning in life and society. Not all psychopaths are violent criminals I’m not suggesting that - but all psychopaths who don’t get treatment will suffer emotional disconnect in their human experience so I think it is worth considering.

Here’s an article to get you started and I do suggest you contact a good child psychiatrist to get your child assessed and get her and yourselves into family therapy. Even if she doesn’t assess as psychopathy she is clearly struggling with dark thinking and that is not likely to get better by itself as she goes through the upheavals of puberty.

https://modlab.yale.edu/news/there-are-no-child-psychopaths-because-we-cant-diagnose-them-yet-vice[/quote]

This is a complete and total overreaction. [/quote]

This person is basing their view on professional experience.

You are opining.

See the difference.

OP, you need to not allow her to dominate the younger kids this way. You need to tell them how excited you were to give birth to them and how much you love them and are glad they are part of your family.

Have the cousins do fun activities with your younger kids without the older there. Build family bonds and memories.

I would limit the internet exposure of the oldest as well as monitor her influences. It's not healthy for a child to be so nihilistic so young. Where is her father re: this? Who is she hearing go on about climate change and overpopulation? I'd shut that down and diversify her interests and influences. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics