Does this warrant an appointment with a counselor?

[Anonymous]

Our kids, oldest is 11, really dislike babies and toddlers. Our oldest has been like this since she herself was a toddler. Disliked dolls also. She’s very vocal about her dislike and I think the younger ones pick up on it.

Recently, she said something concerning. She said that if she saw a baby stranded on the side of the road, she would just leave it to die. The younger ones chimed in to say that they would do the same. Said that she hates babies and there’s too many humans on this planet and humans ruin everything. Knowing her I think it’s just that she thinks so black and white and knows way too much about the causes of climate change and then coupled with her already dislike of babies, she logically thinks it’s better to let the baby die.

I have tried to change their view of babies and toddlers but to no avail. They have younger cousins who adore them. But our kids want nothing to do with them. They have never ever been mean or unkind, but they generally ignore them. I feel bad that they are not friendlier. Our younger ones are a bit more flexible. Even though they hate them and complain about them to us, they will be nice enough to play with them, answer their questions, help them with something, or teach them something- albeit begrudgingly (on the inside).

Our oldest won’t even do that though.

She says similar things about humans in general- just a lack of concern, empathy, and value for someone’s life.

Would you be concerned?

[Anonymous]

Yes I do think your older one should be seen by a therapist. That’s an awfully bleak outlook for her age. At the very least you need to shut down that kind of talk in front of her little siblings. Letting her voice the dislike for kids for so long has passed the sentiment on to your younger siblings and that’s not fair for her to have such power. You can tell her that certain things she needs to voice only to you privately. Could she be on the spectrum?

[Anonymous]

Sending her to a therapist is the last thing I would do, as most would just reinforce this climate change doom and gloom.

OP are you not capable of talking to your own child and setting her straight?

[Anonymous]

That is concerning.

They say when little kids say stuff like "I want 10 babies when I grow up" that is a reflection that the people around them are positive about *them* , think kids are great and they know they are loved.

I'd be worried that someone made your 11 y/o feel deeply unloved as a tiny baby.

[Anonymous]

No, that’s overreacting. Not unless there is something else going on, like problems with sibling, school or friends. She is a) trying to get a reaction from you and b) just a kid. Kids say weird things don’t conform to the movie version of perfect angelic children. Plus, there’s nothing a therapist can do except take your money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That is concerning.

They say when little kids say stuff like "I want 10 babies when I grow up" that is a reflection that the people around them are positive about *them* , think kids are great and they know they are loved.

I'd be worried that someone made your 11 y/o feel deeply unloved as a tiny baby.

That’s absurd. But sure, there is some therapist willing to take $250/hr to explore this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is concerning.

They say when little kids say stuff like "I want 10 babies when I grow up" that is a reflection that the people around them are positive about *them* , think kids are great and they know they are loved.

I'd be worried that someone made your 11 y/o feel deeply unloved as a tiny baby.

That’s absurd. But sure, there is some therapist willing to take $250/hr to explore this.

Do you not believe in therapy for anything?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is concerning.

They say when little kids say stuff like "I want 10 babies when I grow up" that is a reflection that the people around them are positive about *them* , think kids are great and they know they are loved.

I'd be worried that someone made your 11 y/o feel deeply unloved as a tiny baby.

That’s absurd. But sure, there is some therapist willing to take $250/hr to explore this.

Do you not believe in therapy for anything?

lol, if you only knew the hours and $$ I have spent on (very needed) therapy for myself and my child! that is precisely why I know that, unless there is a lot more OP isn’t saying, therapy is a complete overreaction. I think what seems to be motivating OP is that she has an image of her daughters being more traditionally involved with their younger cousins. Possibly some gender role stuff as well.

[Anonymous]

I would, your kid is 11 and saying they would leave a baby to die. I think it’s pretty weird. In the meantime, shut down that talk in front of their sibling.

[Anonymous]

Anyone who says they would leave a tiny baby to die is not psychologically normal. If it were my kid, I'd be trying to get her help.

[Anonymous]

You’re worried, so I would touch base with an expert. Even if just to make you feel better.

Shot in the dark: black and white thinking and lack of empathy can be a sign of ASD or ADHD, both of which go under diagnosed in girls. Maybe start there if there are other symptoms?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is concerning.

They say when little kids say stuff like "I want 10 babies when I grow up" that is a reflection that the people around them are positive about *them* , think kids are great and they know they are loved.

I'd be worried that someone made your 11 y/o feel deeply unloved as a tiny baby.

That’s absurd. But sure, there is some therapist willing to take $250/hr to explore this.

Agree. This isn’t something I would see a therapist over. If she behaves normally and isn’t torturing animals or drawing pictures of dead babies, I would just leave this alone. So she hates babies and doesn’t want kids. Oh well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is concerning.

They say when little kids say stuff like "I want 10 babies when I grow up" that is a reflection that the people around them are positive about *them* , think kids are great and they know they are loved.

I'd be worried that someone made your 11 y/o feel deeply unloved as a tiny baby.

That’s absurd. But sure, there is some therapist willing to take $250/hr to explore this.

Do you not believe in therapy for anything?

NP. Of course. But not for ANYTHING. Especially things that any competent loving mother could and should handle

[Anonymous]

Meant “everything!”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’re worried, so I would touch base with an expert. Even if just to make you feel better.

Shot in the dark: black and white thinking and lack of empathy can be a sign of ASD or ADHD, both of which go under diagnosed in girls. Maybe start there if there are other symptoms?

This, in a nutshell, is what is wrong with so many parents

An “expert?” What makes some random therapist an “expert,” except that you pay them to tell you what common sense should?

Every statement a child makes is not a sign of a disorder PP. quit medicating and meficalizimg your kids very existence. If you’re so worried about every little statement they make, it is you that has the problem.