Reply to Does this warrant an appointment with a counselor?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. DH is exactly like my older child, except more nuanced.  He completely agrees with my older child and thinks she sees things more clearly than anyone else.  I am completely outnumbered and I get out-argued every time.  DH very much enjoys dark themes and exposes our kids to them at what I think is way too young of an age.  If I put my foot down, he does it secretly or behind my back, which then forms a stronger bond between him and the kids. Or we end up in a huge argument, where he calls me WAY overprotective and controlling, but we will never see eye to eye on this.[/quote]

What a mess. Why the hell would you be with and procreate with this goon? I have never understood people who confuse cruelty with intelligence, or brutality with honesty.

Get help for her, and discipline her as the grown, rational, capable adult you are, and  when she acts an absolute unfiltered a-hole to her baby cousins, make clear to your younger ones that DD is behaving unkindly and where they model her, they’ll face restriction, too. Your DH doesn’t have to be on board with this. It’ll be hard, but every excuse you make simultaneously states “I’m raising a troubled d-ck and don’t give a damn about it.”[/quote]

I never said she acts unkindly to her younger cousins.  Not the case at all.  She ignores them, and has zero interest in them. There's a difference - she is never an "unfiltered a-hole" to them.  When they harass her, she is never mean, cruel, or dismissive.  She answers their questions, and then quietly excuses herself to go read a book somewhere else. She just wants to be left alone.[/quote]

You win! Sounds like things are going great! You wrote the kids “hate” their cousins, but hey, totally normal, and so is your husband and his “dark themes.” Couldn’t be and thankfully is not me - and my husband and DC are not fake sunny robots. Enjoy the “depth”![/quote]

You have issues PP. Why does this trigger you? Projecting? [/quote]

Yes. Yes, you have extraordinary psychological insight! Certainly there’s nothing odd about your misinterpretation(s) of other posts, claiming that people are disquieted only due to stereotypes about girls loving babies. Thank you for the nuance.

OP asked for help for a reason, but she’s retreating because she’s way more used to her husband and oldest treating her like an anxious idiot, and ignoring things that trouble or even demean her. It’s a choice. There’s a lot of space between a tween not liking babies, and what OP posted. [/quote]

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