How to get over someone you had the most incredible chemistry with

[Anonymous]

I wonder where you are
I wonder if you think about me
Once upon a time
In your wildest dreams

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wonder where you are
I wonder if you think about me
Once upon a time
In your wildest dreams

Never

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Let me guess, op, he broke up with you? Logistics wouldn’t keep him away if he wanted to be with you, this isn’t like planning a date with your husband and saying “Well, we could go out this Friday, but no, we can’t because we’ve got to be out the door by 7 on Saturday so the kids can play football”, you are dealing with someone that no matter how good the sex was, he doesn’t care enough about you to keep seeing you.
It’s Monday, op. Go find another guy. Look for one who wants what you want and be honest with whatever that is. Block the old boyfriend, he strikes me as the sort that will randomly text you with the sole purpose of causing problems. My husband says that a lot of ghosting is probably the result of a person getting a text while they are on a first or second date where it’s too soon to ask “Who’s that guy that keeps texting” so it’s easier to just not be in touch or see the person again.
If you want a healthy relationship, be a healthy woman with healthy expectations, get the looser who dumped you out of the way and at the risk of being crass, realize that the best way to get over one man is to get under another one. If you’re not wired that way, you can at least have a date scheduled and then actually go on the date with an open mind and heart.

Hey, just to quickly answer your questions: 1) No, he didn't break up with me 2) The logistics are pretty insurmountable and not something that can be easily fixed or addressed without upending both of our lives. It's not BS- trust me, I wish it was. I think processing everything would be a lot easier if I could stuff it into a "if he wanted to, he would" box. As it is, it feels like there's just some karmic fated element working against us, not to be too pessimistic, and extremely little possibility for any kind of change. That's what makes it sadder to me- I think if he had just dumped me or been dodging the situation I wouldn't have any lingering feelings at all.

OP you don’t love each other. People who love each other find a way.

Someone call up Shakespeare and Tolstoy and let them know that. Clearly they made massive errors in their works of fiction if that's the case

If Tolstoy is your model for relAtionships you’ve got problems!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pp here. In a relationship, one person usually gives in or maybe loves the other more. In BIL’s situation, neither of them liked the other more enough.

Or they are both men, who put themselves first.

[Anonymous]

Guess he didn’t know it was the most incredible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean, if the chemistry was really that good- for both of you- why not upend your lives? Either it was that good or it wasn't.

NP. Upending one’s life for “chemistry” alone seems like a recipe for disaster. I’m willing to bet that the logistical difficulties of a more multifaceted relationship added to the chemistry. OP, don’t make this into something more than it was, physical, have fun finding someone else. It shouldn’t be that difficult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those who have experienced intense, life altering heartbreak like this, about how long *does* it take to move on and forget the other person?

I never got over it and it has been almost 20 years.

I've moved on and I'm fine but I doubt I'll ever forget it.

+1 I’m fine. I moved on and find happiness in my marriage and life. I still think about him, but clearly we didn’t work out. It is a lovely fantasy/memory I take out every now and then.

[Anonymous]

My guess is they are both married to other people hence why the OP is so cagey

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My guess is they are both married to other people hence why the OP is so cagey

Exactly what I came here to say. This screams "affair".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guess he didn’t know it was the most incredible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My guess is they are both married to other people hence why the OP is so cagey

Exactly what I came here to say. This screams "affair".

+2… the only truly “insurmountable” logistics issue. 😅😂

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My guess is they are both married to other people hence why the OP is so cagey

He got his fill and doesn’t need OP anymore. These stupid women think it had to be life-changing for the OM. They are addicted to drama and Bridges of Madison county fantasies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My guess is they are both married to other people hence why the OP is so cagey

He got his fill and doesn’t need OP anymore. These stupid women think it had to be life-changing for the OM. They are addicted to drama and Bridges of Madison county fantasies.

Especially true for women that settled in marriage. They think they are the first to ever feel this way and the new person creates hormones they have never felt----but most people have--and many married that person. That heightened euphoria fades over time. Those damaged ones will keep chasing it over and over again because they need a dopamine hit and are willing to risk hurting the first person they experienced it with to take a hit off of someone they'd never ever marry. Most of these people never had good role models for a marriage and came from dysfunction or have other issues like BPD/depression/addiction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My guess is they are both married to other people hence why the OP is so cagey

He got his fill and doesn’t need OP anymore. These stupid women think it had to be life-changing for the OM. They are addicted to drama and Bridges of Madison county fantasies.

Especially true for women that settled in marriage. They think they are the first to ever feel this way and the new person creates hormones they have never felt----but most people have--and many married that person. That heightened euphoria fades over time. Those damaged ones will keep chasing it over and over again because they need a dopamine hit and are willing to risk hurting the first person they experienced it with to take a hit off of someone they'd never ever marry. Most of these people never had good role models for a marriage and came from dysfunction or have other issues like BPD/depression/addiction.

Aka “Chasing the Dragon.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wonder where you are
I wonder if you think about me
Once upon a time
In your wildest dreams

Moody Blues…This does make me think of someone.