How to get over someone you had the most incredible chemistry with

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you his teacher, OP?

😂🤣

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No matter how many years pass, this person still naturally feels like 'the one'. There is this undying spiritual connection that never fades. No matter the circumstance. It’s just too bad when you meet them at the wrong time. You just wish someday you will meet them again somewhere between the moon and the stars but life goes on.

But those things are so often one-sided. You pining over “the one”, the other person has long forgotten.

Not necessarily true at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you his teacher, OP?

😂🤣

It worked for the president of France

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You do because you have to. If the circumstances are outside of your control or due to your choices and/or the other person’s choices, it’s nothing.

Move on. I’ve had chemistry with so many people while married that I can’t even remember them all. I have never cheated. It’s called boundaries and self control.

As a married person, I agree with this. I often think it’s easier to have good chemistry with someone else because there is so many boundaries and walls that sometimes imagination fills in where reality cannot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You've got the imagination, so make it work in your favor. Visualize him 15 years older, 50 pounds heavier, and bald. Imagine him unemployed and playing video games all day. Imagine him leaving his socks everywhere, not helping out with the kids, and jerking off to OnlyFans while you do the dishes.

I'm sorry your partner does this. You can probably do better.

Not my husband. My husband makes 700k, has lot of hair, and is currently giving our kids a bath! But keep on pining for your pretend lover.

Your kids who need to be given a bathare up at 10:38pm?

Also, why is having lots of hair a thing? That takes NO effort, and men have NO control over it. I love bald men. Keeping it real.

[Anonymous]

OP, if you are still out there and still reading this thread, please come back and let us know how you're doing. If you wrote the earlier "intrusive thoughts and searing pain" post, I'm still concerned about you.

I know this thread has been badly derailed by what I suspect is the same person, or a very few people, who are insisting on their own narratives and/or who haven't read, or just refuse to believe, the original post. They live to project their own stuff, judge, and generally abuse OPs. So I understand if you're unwilling to post here again.

But if you are still struggling badly, OP, know that a few of us do get you, and are hoping you do better with each passing day. If you ever feel you really can't function, please, get outside help. It can be hard to book in-person therapists right now, but if needed, try telehealth counseling--many health insurance plans do offer that. Meanwhile, keep yourself busy with things in your real life, here and now, and get out as much as you can, double down on time with your friends, so you remember there is a life outside that relationship. [--From the PP many pages back who had an intense relationship that had to end]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
OP, if you are still out there and still reading this thread, please come back and let us know how you're doing. If you wrote the earlier "intrusive thoughts and searing pain" post, I'm still concerned about you.

I know this thread has been badly derailed by what I suspect is the same person, or a very few people, who are insisting on their own narratives and/or who haven't read, or just refuse to believe, the original post. They live to project their own stuff, judge, and generally abuse OPs. So I understand if you're unwilling to post here again.

But if you are still struggling badly, OP, know that a few of us do get you, and are hoping you do better with each passing day. If you ever feel you really can't function, please, get outside help. It can be hard to book in-person therapists right now, but if needed, try telehealth counseling--many health insurance plans do offer that. Meanwhile, keep yourself busy with things in your real life, here and now, and get out as much as you can, double down on time with your friends, so you remember there is a life outside that relationship. [--From the PP many pages back who had an intense relationship that had to end]

+1 from a different PP
(Page 1 11/06/2023 10:35)

[Anonymous]

I don't know. I was thinking about this today because of something that gave me the thought the other night.

I spent nearly my entire high school infatuated with one guy who had "the most incredible chemistry" with me; even he knew we had chemistry. Still, he said he didn't like me the way I liked him and that he didn't know why.

I'm with someone else now and I am over it; it's also been a while since. We lost contact until we bumped into each other last night.

I love my partner now, but even then I don't feel that same chemistry that I had all those years ago. It's funny because my partner is "my type" and he is not.

I looked through this thread to find experiences like mine because I'm curious about how people view chemistry and how it translates into a relationship. Should your partner be the person you have the most chemistry with? And then I think about how difficult that is; for that one person out of the 20,000 people you meet in your life to love you the way you love them and then to maintain that relationship forever.

[Anonymous]

"
Reminding myself that the experience of chemistry with someone else is proof that I am capable of the experience and that I want intimacy as well as intensity.

The reason that you hadn't experienced that level of chemistry before is because you weren't ready for it - and you've proven to yourself that you are now, and when you don't have it with people in the future, you will quickly filter them out and allow other people you are better suited for you in.

Seriously - you are growing and up-leveling. xoxo"

+1

I think you should give yourself more credit. YOU are someone capable of having this sort of chemistry with another human. You have the capacity to make that happen. I'm not saying you'll be able to do that with every other man you think might be interesting. But at least you'll know you aren't a cold fish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just had a break up due to logistics with someone I had the most explosive chemistry with. Not to be explicit because obviously the thread needs to be SFW, but I've never had the kind of connection or passion in the bedroom with anyone like this. Breaking up has been shockingly hard, and I didnt expect to be hit so hard with the loss. Has anyone else experienced this kind of break up and if so, how do you move on and forget about it?

i didn't realize this was like reddit and there was an original post LOL please ignore my post op

In my opinion, chemistry is a huge part, but just one part of the relationship. To be honest, there will always be someone better in bed, someone who's more compatible with you in other aspects, etc., you just have to go out and look for it.

And I feel like you can always communicate with a partner to say what you like or dislike. And if you communicate, you're bound to find someone compatible with you and enjoys the same things you do, granted it may take a long time.

Have a lot of one-night stands, and have fun! Life is just about experiencing, and I hope you experience more op and that you get over him through a better experience

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Time, give it some time.
Can the logistic situation change? Ours might change soon and gives us some hope.

I dont think the logistics can change, not without colossally shifting both our lives (and even then, possibly still no). That's what makes me sad. It all feels very final and like such a missed opportunity

Are one or both of you married?

Ah, there’s the rub.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just had a break up due to logistics with someone I had the most explosive chemistry with. Not to be explicit because obviously the thread needs to be SFW, but I've never had the kind of connection or passion in the bedroom with anyone like this. Breaking up has been shockingly hard, and I didnt expect to be hit so hard with the loss. Has anyone else experienced this kind of break up and if so, how do you move on and forget about it?

It’s very hard. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and eventually, with enough time behind you, it will sting less. Avoid triggers if you can. I recently posted the thread about anticipating setbacks. The connection was unreal, and you can’t expect it to just fade into the background quickly.

[Anonymous]

I am going on year 5 and I’m still far from over it. It’s improved in the last year but it’s not gone and I doubt ever will be. I’m finally to the point I can consider a relationship if I meet someone. It’s crazy how powerful that is!

[Anonymous]

Having great chemistry with someone is mostly about you and your feelings. It’s never about anything special about the other person. I’ve felt chemistry many times and what helps always is to remember that this happened with lots of people and will happen again. And says nothing about their relationship fitness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just had a break up due to logistics with someone I had the most explosive chemistry with. Not to be explicit because obviously the thread needs to be SFW, but I've never had the kind of connection or passion in the bedroom with anyone like this. Breaking up has been shockingly hard, and I didnt expect to be hit so hard with the loss. Has anyone else experienced this kind of break up and if so, how do you move on and forget about it?

It’s very hard. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and eventually, with enough time behind you, it will sting less. Avoid triggers if you can. I recently posted the thread about anticipating setbacks. The connection was unreal, and you can’t expect it to just fade into the background quickly.

Honestly if you never experienced that type of connection in the bedroom before, all it means is you haven’t slept with enough people. It’s not that rare.