How to get over someone you had the most incredible chemistry with

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You've got the imagination, so make it work in your favor. Visualize him 15 years older, 50 pounds heavier, and bald. Imagine him unemployed and playing video games all day. Imagine him leaving his socks everywhere, not helping out with the kids, and jerking off to OnlyFans while you do the dishes.

I'm sorry your partner does this. You can probably do better.

Not my husband. My husband makes 700k, has lot of hair, and is currently giving our kids a bath! But keep on pining for your pretend lover.

My husband is a biglaw partner and we drop that much at the country club annually alone. He just went down on me because I asked. The nanny gives them a bath.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For those who have experienced intense, life altering heartbreak like this, about how long *does* it take to move on and forget the other person?

You don’t actually ever forget them. You just learn to live with it and it still sometimes hurts, even decades later. Sorry, but that’s the truth.

[Anonymous]

The trick is to have biology with him so they can't get away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those who have experienced intense, life altering heartbreak like this, about how long *does* it take to move on and forget the other person?

You don’t actually ever forget them. You just learn to live with it and it still sometimes hurts, even decades later. Sorry, but that’s the truth.

+1

[Anonymous]

I had someone like this. I had just graduated college and we met. I didn't have much experience dating. Looking back, I didn't really give him a chance. He wanted to be with me but I didn't want to settle down with him as he was over a decade older and I wanted to experience life more. I was young and took for granted how mind-blowing it was when we were together. I haven't met anyone since who even came close in that department.

I think about him a lot but in the end, I don't believe we would have lasted due to personality differences. We both married other people and haven't been in touch for decades.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Let me guess, op, he broke up with you? Logistics wouldn’t keep him away if he wanted to be with you, this isn’t like planning a date with your husband and saying “Well, we could go out this Friday, but no, we can’t because we’ve got to be out the door by 7 on Saturday so the kids can play football”, you are dealing with someone that no matter how good the sex was, he doesn’t care enough about you to keep seeing you.
It’s Monday, op. Go find another guy. Look for one who wants what you want and be honest with whatever that is. Block the old boyfriend, he strikes me as the sort that will randomly text you with the sole purpose of causing problems. My husband says that a lot of ghosting is probably the result of a person getting a text while they are on a first or second date where it’s too soon to ask “Who’s that guy that keeps texting” so it’s easier to just not be in touch or see the person again.
If you want a healthy relationship, be a healthy woman with healthy expectations, get the looser who dumped you out of the way and at the risk of being crass, realize that the best way to get over one man is to get under another one. If you’re not wired that way, you can at least have a date scheduled and then actually go on the date with an open mind and heart.

Hey, just to quickly answer your questions: 1) No, he didn't break up with me 2) The logistics are pretty insurmountable and not something that can be easily fixed or addressed without upending both of our lives. It's not BS- trust me, I wish it was. I think processing everything would be a lot easier if I could stuff it into a "if he wanted to, he would" box. As it is, it feels like there's just some karmic fated element working against us, not to be too pessimistic, and extremely little possibility for any kind of change. That's what makes it sadder to me- I think if he had just dumped me or been dodging the situation I wouldn't have any lingering feelings at all.

NP and this is all very flowery and “complicated” OP, but the PP is correct.
You are either fooling yourself or fooling him.
The plain truth is that He’s Just Not That Into You.
Period.
Let that sink in and help you to put the pining for the incredible sex behind you. He didn’t want to make it work.

[Anonymous]

He doesn't like you. Move on...