DH Destroyed My Le Creuset Dutch Oven

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kind of off topic. What do you use a Dutch oven for? I find them HEAVY and don’t like to use one on my ceramic stovetop, so I gave mine away.

I have 3 kids and a 6ft3 240 pound DH. I routinely make every week:
Beef Stew
Lentil Stew
Shredded bbq
Whole chickens
Chicken and dumplings
Empanadas
Baked pasta
Gumbo
Jambalaya
Boullibase

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Le Creuset will replace. Send them an email.

OP here- Agreed. I told him this. I sent him the warranty link. I sent him the required pictures. He's done nothing. So I'm pissed and thinking irrationally. Like taking something important to him (old picture of him and his siblings, a letter his father wrote him in college), and shredding it. But I'm trying not to.

That’s pretty nuts, OP.

[Anonymous]

I got rid of my Dutch oven because there’s more peace in my kitchen when everything is stainless steel except for one pan for eggs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re still mad after 3 months? Why not go to Williams Sonoma and buy a new one? They have some great new colors.

Not everyone has that kind of money.

Well if the family doesn't have that kind of money, then maybe that's why the husband hasn't bought a new one for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I'd be hurt that nothing was done to remediate the situation.

But don't be passive aggressive about this, or hint at things. Tell him directly that you attached a lot of sentiment to that pot, you used it a lot, and although you know what he did was an accident, and you appreciate the apology, it hurts your feelings that he's done nothing to replace the pot, either by buying a new one or by contacting Le Crueset for a new one.

And then let that sit. If he tries to defend himself, let it sit there, and let him know this isn't you yelling about him or trying to shame him, you just want to know if he is going to make amends.

Again, if he tried to deflect or defend himself, you need to stay calm and bring it back to, "OK, I get that this was a mistake. I understand that, we've all made mistakes. It's imporatan to me that you make good. Are you going to fix the situation?"

This. You're a long-married couple, I'm sure you've been through a ton, and for whatever reasons this issue isn't hitting your husband's radar like it should but if you've made it this far -- you can have a straightforward conversation about how you feel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP---if the point is that you want a new pot, then you need to deal with sending the photos and warranty info to Le Creuset and getting it taken care of and getting exactly what you want. You are letting resentment get in the way of your ultimate objective. Your husband isn't going to deal with it because he doesn't care about it like you do. What goes around comes around---sooner or later there will be something that he really cares about (but you don't) and he will want you to fix it. Then you don't and leave it to him---citing back to this experience and the fact that you had to step up and remedy his errors. Sometimes people just need to get natural consequences for their behaviors and it takes awhile for those to evolve.

FFS.

The bold is not "natural consequences" for the DH like PP wants to claim. Great job, though, PP, at couching your mean-spirited advice inside therapy-talk blather about "natural consequences" and "evolving" them and "remedying errors." What a load of BS.

If you wrote honestly, you'd instead say: You think OP should sit tight, keep stewing and seething, and just wait to pounce gleefully on the moment when "something that he really cares about (but you don't)" gets damaged.

There is NO healthy relationship where one person bides their time hoping for the other person to experiences a loss, so the first person can rub it in.

And that, at its core, is what PP is suggesting. Not "natural consequences," but a long-awaited moment of "Now YOU know how it feels, suck it up, buttercup, and no way would I help you because you didn't help ME the way I wanted months (or years) ago! At last, you'll get it!" How profoundly immature.

That is an ugly, vindictive way to conduct a relationship. Do not do this, OP. Be an actual adult and talk to your DH NOW, instead of waiting for the universe to punish him for you, so you can shrug him off. PP's path above is toxic to a relationship and turns it into tit-for-tat vengefulness that lasts and lasts.

I suspect PP is the type who'll come back coolly and say, "Why so worked up?" and the other usual DCUM attempts to laugh off a post. Eh, who cares? PP's advice is resentful manipulativeness wrapped in a pretty package and no amount of deflection can hide that

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are ways to restore it. Look online

+1, I've rescued multiple of our Le Creuset this way.

It was an honest mistake. I did it myself once -- had a small saucepan on low and the flame was so small I didn't realize it was still on when I poured out the contents and put it back on the burner. It took a lot of elbow grease but I did restore it.

I would also consider contacting Le Creuset if it was too far gone, to see if they will replace. New pot!

[Anonymous]

Maybe he doesn't like your cooking?

[Anonymous]

I scratched my husband's truck while he was out of town for business. Bad. I felt terrible, I still feel terrible. I actually didn't scratch it, the guy helping me load the truck did, but it was my responsibility. I'm so grateful that my husband didn't seethe with anger or resentment.

He gave me a hug and told me it's just a vehicle (even though he loves that thing). It would require a new paint job of the side panel, and he didn't think we should worry about the expense right now.

[Anonymous]

Sorry OP, I get crazy attached to family cookware too. Can you use the dutch oven for soemthing else, like a fruit bowl or a planter or something? That way you can still use it regularly. My husband does not get attached to items and so would not understand your reaction. He actually did ruin my dutch oven (not a Le Creuset, thank goodness) and I replaced it myself. He's a great guy so it was not hard for me to overlook.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I scratched my husband's truck while he was out of town for business. Bad. I felt terrible, I still feel terrible. I actually didn't scratch it, the guy helping me load the truck did, but it was my responsibility. I'm so grateful that my husband didn't seethe with anger or resentment.

He gave me a hug and told me it's just a vehicle (even though he loves that thing). It would require a new paint job of the side panel, and he didn't think we should worry about the expense right now.

And, if that was covered under the warranty and your husband sent you a link and pictures to submit,you would do it right away, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just an “I’m sorry” would really upset me. Is that where you’re getting stuck, OP? My DH thinks the two words I’m sorry, said in any tone of voice, are a full stop end to any situation. It is so invalidating and leaves me feeling more angry than whatever dumb thing he’s just done.

My DD schooled him once because they had been discussing proper apologies at school. She said to him that you have to acknowledge what happened, the impact it probably had on the other person, and then say that you are sorry for doing it. At her school there is a repair part to it, too, but it sounds like you’re going to have to buy that thing yourself.

So true, so so true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I scratched my husband's truck while he was out of town for business. Bad. I felt terrible, I still feel terrible. I actually didn't scratch it, the guy helping me load the truck did, but it was my responsibility. I'm so grateful that my husband didn't seethe with anger or resentment.

He gave me a hug and told me it's just a vehicle (even though he loves that thing). It would require a new paint job of the side panel, and he didn't think we should worry about the expense right now.

And, if that was covered under the warranty and your husband sent you a link and pictures to submit,you would do it right away, right?

No. He would handle it.

[Anonymous]

No

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I scratched my husband's truck while he was out of town for business. Bad. I felt terrible, I still feel terrible. I actually didn't scratch it, the guy helping me load the truck did, but it was my responsibility. I'm so grateful that my husband didn't seethe with anger or resentment.

He gave me a hug and told me it's just a vehicle (even though he loves that thing). It would require a new paint job of the side panel, and he didn't think we should worry about the expense right now.

And, if that was covered under the warranty and your husband sent you a link and pictures to submit,you would do it right away, right?

No. He would handle it.

Even though you felt and still feel terrible, you wouldn't handle it if he asked you?