DH Destroyed My Le Creuset Dutch Oven

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Le Creuset will replace. Send them an email.

OP here- Agreed. I told him this. I sent him the warranty link. I sent him the required pictures. He's done nothing. So I'm pissed and thinking irrationally. Like taking something important to him (old picture of him and his siblings, a letter his father wrote him in college), and shredding it. But I'm trying not to.

Sounds like the problem is your husband’s lack of executive functioning skills. Not money or know how or time.
He doesn’t know how to get started or make time or change gears or plot out his day or evening.

Meanwhile, you’ll have to do all the organizing, signups, back ups, deadlines, planning ahead and fixing of messes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Le Creuset will replace. Send them an email.

OP here- Agreed. I told him this. I sent him the warranty link. I sent him the required pictures. He's done nothing. So I'm pissed and thinking irrationally. Like taking something important to him (old picture of him and his siblings, a letter his father wrote him in college), and shredding it. But I'm trying not to.

Individual and couples therapy stat!

I know. OP you have really toxic tendencies. Angry and dysfunctional. Focus on therapy instead of your crockpot.

[Anonymous]

I think this is our resident trivial made-up transgressions against their family members to get a reaction. Worked again!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this is our resident trivial made-up transgressions against their family members to get a reaction. Worked again!

*resident troll

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Le Creuset will replace. Send them an email.

OP here- Agreed. I told him this. I sent him the warranty link. I sent him the required pictures. He's done nothing. So I'm pissed and thinking irrationally. Like taking something important to him (old picture of him and his siblings, a letter his father wrote him in college), and shredding it. But I'm trying not to.

You did all that legwork and did not just take care of it yourself, OP? Why?

Destroying a photo or letter, irreplaceable, should be unthinkable.

Get some counseling to figure out why you created this pattern over 3 months and why you feel entitled to viciously retaliate. What you are considering doing, and your rumination are both sick.

I hope this is a troll post.

[Anonymous]

Women are crazy weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Was it just implied that he would take care of it or was there an actual conversation where he agreed to buying a new one? To me, there is nothing in your description of the situation that would lead me to believe that he was the one who would get a replacement. Sending him the warranty link wasn't enough.

This. OP, did you have an actual conversation about this? If not say something like this:
“DH, I know you apologized for breaking the pot and I know it was an accident. In reality, that pot had a lot of sentimental value for me. And I know this sounds crazy, but I am still mourning the loss of that pot. As I reflect on what’s behind that, I really do think it’s related to the sentimental value and how I don’t feel you have acknowledged how losing something so closely reconnected to my mom would be really hard on me. I really do want to move on from this. And every time I want to use it, I feel this pang of grief. Could I get your help submitting the warranty to get a new one. I do think that would really help me feel better about this and to move on.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Le Creuset will replace. Send them an email.

OP here- Agreed. I told him this. I sent him the warranty link. I sent him the required pictures. He's done nothing. So I'm pissed and thinking irrationally. Like taking something important to him (old picture of him and his siblings, a letter his father wrote him in college), and shredding it. But I'm trying not to.

This is bordering on psychotic. You need to look deep within yourself as to why you think this is an appropriate response. Holding onto this for three months means that there's something deeper going on than just your husband breaking a Dutch oven. Even if the Dutch oven had sentimental value.
I think you are Angry with your husband for a lot more than this. Maybe you need to therapy not saying this in a mean DCUM way.
Vindictive behavior is never the answer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to (jokingly, I thought) call my wife "The Destroyer" for all the times she carelessly broke or ruined something we owned. Now she's my ex-wife. We didn't divorce solely because I called her "The Destroyer," but it didn't help. I meant it in fun; she took it as one more data point in "You think I do everything wrong." I'd much rather have "the Destroyer" back in my life, even with her gradually destroying everything we own.

Moral of the story? It's just a damned pot. Forgive and move on. Your marriage is worth more than even a pot—even a Le Creuset. And if it's not, you have bigger problems than one pot.

This. Do the paperwork to replace the pot or buy a new one OP.

My mom "blamed" my dad and I for a piece of china I broke when I was 2. I heard about it until I was 30, when I bought her a replacement and told her I never wanted to hear about it again. I was 2. Of course, the therapy I've had to go through for anxiety as an adult costs a whole lot more than the china.

The comparison of your toddler self to this woman's grown husband is pretty spot on, as it seems the consensus seems to be that the DH bears no responsibility other than "oops". This wasn't a saucepan from Amazon, it sounds like it had sentimental value and we all know the price of Le Creuset. So, a sincere apology and a replacement are in order, and really, this is bare bones courtesy for someone you love. It also ain't that hard, folks, it's a few words and an online purchase. DCUM seems to believe there is no middle ground or normalcy between completely absent effort from her H and him falling to his knees for forgiveness. It's pretty simple; you don't treat family worse than you'd treat a stranger, just because you can.

Most sensible post on this whole thread.

NP to this thread.

It is astonishing that people like you (and the previous PP) can't hold two thoughts in your heads at the same time.

First, yes. OP's DH should have replaced the pot. He was thoughtless (not for the damage, that was an honest mistake), and not for failing to apologize (he did), but for not taking the next step to replace it. It's not a hanging offense, but he should have done better.

AND ALSO . . .

Op has gone round the bend. She has stewed about this for *months.* She is now fantasizing about destroying irreplaceable items of sentimental value to her husband. Not by accident, but in retaliation. That's mean-spirited, petty, and a little unhinged. And even though his failure to replace the pot bothers her a great deal, she hasn't discussed it with him, and she hasn't just gone ahead and replaced the pot herself - which yes, her husband should have. But he didn't. That doesn't mean OP is forbidden from doing it herself, especially if it would ease her emotional state a bit.

All of these things are true. And also, self-evident. Or at least I thought so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Three months over a pot? Is your mother still alive? Was this the family pot from your grandmother? The only scenario I could see this being reasonable would be if this was the last gift your mother gave you or something. Buy a new pot? They’re like $400? Or get the Amazon essential Dutch oven which is the same exact pot for 50$

LOL.

[Anonymous]

I find the concept of “replacing” the item pretty odd in a marital context. Especially when we are simply talking about filling out forms for warranty. Some of you are assigning so much emotional meanings to a logistical task.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to (jokingly, I thought) call my wife "The Destroyer" for all the times she carelessly broke or ruined something we owned. Now she's my ex-wife. We didn't divorce solely because I called her "The Destroyer," but it didn't help. I meant it in fun; she took it as one more data point in "You think I do everything wrong." I'd much rather have "the Destroyer" back in my life, even with her gradually destroying everything we own.

Moral of the story? It's just a damned pot. Forgive and move on. Your marriage is worth more than even a pot—even a Le Creuset. And if it's not, you have bigger problems than one pot.

This. Do the paperwork to replace the pot or buy a new one OP.

My mom "blamed" my dad and I for a piece of china I broke when I was 2. I heard about it until I was 30, when I bought her a replacement and told her I never wanted to hear about it again. I was 2. Of course, the therapy I've had to go through for anxiety as an adult costs a whole lot more than the china.

The comparison of your toddler self to this woman's grown husband is pretty spot on, as it seems the consensus seems to be that the DH bears no responsibility other than "oops". This wasn't a saucepan from Amazon, it sounds like it had sentimental value and we all know the price of Le Creuset. So, a sincere apology and a replacement are in order, and really, this is bare bones courtesy for someone you love. It also ain't that hard, folks, it's a few words and an online purchase. DCUM seems to believe there is no middle ground or normalcy between completely absent effort from her H and him falling to his knees for forgiveness. It's pretty simple; you don't treat family worse than you'd treat a stranger, just because you can.

Most sensible post on this whole thread.

NP to this thread.

It is astonishing that people like you (and the previous PP) can't hold two thoughts in your heads at the same time.

First, yes. OP's DH should have replaced the pot. He was thoughtless (not for the damage, that was an honest mistake), and not for failing to apologize (he did), but for not taking the next step to replace it. It's not a hanging offense, but he should have done better.

AND ALSO . . .

Op has gone round the bend. She has stewed about this for *months.* She is now fantasizing about destroying irreplaceable items of sentimental value to her husband. Not by accident, but in retaliation. That's mean-spirited, petty, and a little unhinged. And even though his failure to replace the pot bothers her a great deal, she hasn't discussed it with him, and she hasn't just gone ahead and replaced the pot herself - which yes, her husband should have. But he didn't. That doesn't mean OP is forbidden from doing it herself, especially if it would ease her emotional state a bit.

All of these things are true. And also, self-evident. Or at least I thought so.

I agree. Very sensible and nice to read.

It isn't clear to me though that she asked her DH to replace the pot. She sent the info to him to do that. I'm not sure I'd expect my spouse to replace something that was broken by accident, so maybe it is just that I have a different view of what should be done to remedy an accident like this. It is entirely possible OP's husband feels the same way.

[jsteele]

The original poster has received plenty of feedback and sock puppeted a few posts so I think it's time to lock the thread.