Husband refusing to push his surgery

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are

Uh, no. Thanks for letting us know you know nothing about IVF.

The idea you would expect your spouse to suffer needlessly through any extra chronic pain is gross and appalling.

The fact that he would let her start an IVF cycle and put its success at risk is gross and appalling. The time to bring this up was before they agreed to her stim schedule. She has already started her meds. This is absolutely awful behavior on his part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Chronic pain affects more than just the body part afflicted. Lots of chronic pain suffers struggle with depression, substance abuse, full-scale addiction, and many suicides are directly tied to living in constant pain.

I’m Team DH on this one - you want him to be well if you’re going to try to have kids with him. Timing is unfortunate, but I don’t fault him at all in taking the available OR.

This. This is a surgery that is medically necessary to solve a problem for him. You should be thankful that he found a doctor who can help him, and I can see what he would want to do it ASAP. Show some grace and be happy for him. I can understand that IVF is high stress, but IMO medical conditions, especially one that is causing chronic pain, take greater priority.

This. Some PPs here are acting as if the man scheduled plastic surgery.

It’s elective surgery.

Guess what is also elective - IVF.

Once she starts stims it’s all locked down. Husband is being a giant baby.

Then there’s no problem since stimming hasn’t happened. Nothing is locked except for the spouse’s surgery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Chronic pain affects more than just the body part afflicted. Lots of chronic pain suffers struggle with depression, substance abuse, full-scale addiction, and many suicides are directly tied to living in constant pain.

I’m Team DH on this one - you want him to be well if you’re going to try to have kids with him. Timing is unfortunate, but I don’t fault him at all in taking the available OR.

This. This is a surgery that is medically necessary to solve a problem for him. You should be thankful that he found a doctor who can help him, and I can see what he would want to do it ASAP. Show some grace and be happy for him. I can understand that IVF is high stress, but IMO medical conditions, especially one that is causing chronic pain, take greater priority.

This. Some PPs here are acting as if the man scheduled plastic surgery.

It’s elective surgery.

Guess what is also elective - IVF.

Once she starts stims it’s all locked down. Husband is being a giant baby.

Then there’s no problem since stimming hasn’t happened. Nothing is locked except for the spouse’s surgery.

You people are as awful as her spouse. My mind is blown.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Chronic pain affects more than just the body part afflicted. Lots of chronic pain suffers struggle with depression, substance abuse, full-scale addiction, and many suicides are directly tied to living in constant pain.

I’m Team DH on this one - you want him to be well if you’re going to try to have kids with him. Timing is unfortunate, but I don’t fault him at all in taking the available OR.

This. This is a surgery that is medically necessary to solve a problem for him. You should be thankful that he found a doctor who can help him, and I can see what he would want to do it ASAP. Show some grace and be happy for him. I can understand that IVF is high stress, but IMO medical conditions, especially one that is causing chronic pain, take greater priority.

This. Some PPs here are acting as if the man scheduled plastic surgery.

It’s elective surgery.

Guess what is also elective - IVF.

Once she starts stims it’s all locked down. Husband is being a giant baby.

Then there’s no problem since stimming hasn’t happened. Nothing is locked except for the spouse’s surgery.

So his needs suddenly trump hers.

[Anonymous]

OP should continue with her IVF cycle and get donor sperm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Chronic pain affects more than just the body part afflicted. Lots of chronic pain suffers struggle with depression, substance abuse, full-scale addiction, and many suicides are directly tied to living in constant pain.

I’m Team DH on this one - you want him to be well if you’re going to try to have kids with him. Timing is unfortunate, but I don’t fault him at all in taking the available OR.

This. This is a surgery that is medically necessary to solve a problem for him. You should be thankful that he found a doctor who can help him, and I can see what he would want to do it ASAP. Show some grace and be happy for him. I can understand that IVF is high stress, but IMO medical conditions, especially one that is causing chronic pain, take greater priority.

This. Some PPs here are acting as if the man scheduled plastic surgery.

It’s elective surgery.

Guess what is also elective - IVF.

Once she starts stims it’s all locked down. Husband is being a giant baby.

Then there’s no problem since stimming hasn’t happened. Nothing is locked except for the spouse’s surgery.

You people are as awful as her spouse. My mind is blown.

Same to you. The idea that someone with chronic pain should continue to suffer is mind blowing. Especially since there is no firm date of when the retrieval will be. You’re in hysterics but his surgery could end up being days apart from the retrieval. Which may not even happen this cycle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Chronic pain affects more than just the body part afflicted. Lots of chronic pain suffers struggle with depression, substance abuse, full-scale addiction, and many suicides are directly tied to living in constant pain.

I’m Team DH on this one - you want him to be well if you’re going to try to have kids with him. Timing is unfortunate, but I don’t fault him at all in taking the available OR.

This. This is a surgery that is medically necessary to solve a problem for him. You should be thankful that he found a doctor who can help him, and I can see what he would want to do it ASAP. Show some grace and be happy for him. I can understand that IVF is high stress, but IMO medical conditions, especially one that is causing chronic pain, take greater priority.

This. Some PPs here are acting as if the man scheduled plastic surgery.

It’s elective surgery.

Guess what is also elective - IVF.

Once she starts stims it’s all locked down. Husband is being a giant baby.

Then there’s no problem since stimming hasn’t happened. Nothing is locked except for the spouse’s surgery.

So his needs suddenly trump hers.

Yes. Odd this has to be explained to you that surgery for chronic pain is more important than an IVF cycle.

There’s no date yet for the retrieval. If they really did end up being the same day, then they can arrange for alternate transportation for each.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Chronic pain affects more than just the body part afflicted. Lots of chronic pain suffers struggle with depression, substance abuse, full-scale addiction, and many suicides are directly tied to living in constant pain.

I’m Team DH on this one - you want him to be well if you’re going to try to have kids with him. Timing is unfortunate, but I don’t fault him at all in taking the available OR.

This. This is a surgery that is medically necessary to solve a problem for him. You should be thankful that he found a doctor who can help him, and I can see what he would want to do it ASAP. Show some grace and be happy for him. I can understand that IVF is high stress, but IMO medical conditions, especially one that is causing chronic pain, take greater priority.

This. Some PPs here are acting as if the man scheduled plastic surgery.

It’s elective surgery.

Guess what is also elective - IVF.

Once she starts stims it’s all locked down. Husband is being a giant baby.

Then there’s no problem since stimming hasn’t happened. Nothing is locked except for the spouse’s surgery.

So his needs suddenly trump hers.

Yes. Odd this has to be explained to you that surgery for chronic pain is more important than an IVF cycle.

There’s no date yet for the retrieval. If they really did end up being the same day, then they can arrange for alternate transportation for each.

Odd it this has to be explained to you that her husband is not willing to bend by even a few days. He’s lived for 3 years with this pain and just decided to get a second opinion when his wife’s IVF cycle was already planned out? Some emergency.

[Anonymous]

OP needs to answer the question of whether he needs to be present.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP needs to answer the question of whether he needs to be present.

Someone needs to drive her home after the egg retrieval. The clinic will not let you leave alone. If not her spouse she’ll have to arrange for a friend, family member or medical transport service.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP needs to answer the question of whether he needs to be present.

He needs to be present to provide the sperm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Chronic pain affects more than just the body part afflicted. Lots of chronic pain suffers struggle with depression, substance abuse, full-scale addiction, and many suicides are directly tied to living in constant pain.

I’m Team DH on this one - you want him to be well if you’re going to try to have kids with him. Timing is unfortunate, but I don’t fault him at all in taking the available OR.

This. This is a surgery that is medically necessary to solve a problem for him. You should be thankful that he found a doctor who can help him, and I can see what he would want to do it ASAP. Show some grace and be happy for him. I can understand that IVF is high stress, but IMO medical conditions, especially one that is causing chronic pain, take greater priority.

This. Some PPs here are acting as if the man scheduled plastic surgery.

It’s elective surgery.

Guess what is also elective - IVF.

Once she starts stims it’s all locked down. Husband is being a giant baby.

Then there’s no problem since stimming hasn’t happened. Nothing is locked except for the spouse’s surgery.

So his needs suddenly trump hers.

Her need for an unborn child vs his daily pain??!! Really?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP needs to answer the question of whether he needs to be present.

He needs to be present to provide the sperm.

No, can be provided in advance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Chronic pain affects more than just the body part afflicted. Lots of chronic pain suffers struggle with depression, substance abuse, full-scale addiction, and many suicides are directly tied to living in constant pain.

I’m Team DH on this one - you want him to be well if you’re going to try to have kids with him. Timing is unfortunate, but I don’t fault him at all in taking the available OR.

This. This is a surgery that is medically necessary to solve a problem for him. You should be thankful that he found a doctor who can help him, and I can see what he would want to do it ASAP. Show some grace and be happy for him. I can understand that IVF is high stress, but IMO medical conditions, especially one that is causing chronic pain, take greater priority.

This. Some PPs here are acting as if the man scheduled plastic surgery.

It’s elective surgery.

Guess what is also elective - IVF.

Once she starts stims it’s all locked down. Husband is being a giant baby.

Then there’s no problem since stimming hasn’t happened. Nothing is locked except for the spouse’s surgery.

So his needs suddenly trump hers.

Her need for an unborn child vs his daily pain??!! Really?

The timing is telling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Chronic pain affects more than just the body part afflicted. Lots of chronic pain suffers struggle with depression, substance abuse, full-scale addiction, and many suicides are directly tied to living in constant pain.

I’m Team DH on this one - you want him to be well if you’re going to try to have kids with him. Timing is unfortunate, but I don’t fault him at all in taking the available OR.

This. This is a surgery that is medically necessary to solve a problem for him. You should be thankful that he found a doctor who can help him, and I can see what he would want to do it ASAP. Show some grace and be happy for him. I can understand that IVF is high stress, but IMO medical conditions, especially one that is causing chronic pain, take greater priority.

This. Some PPs here are acting as if the man scheduled plastic surgery.

It’s elective surgery.

Guess what is also elective - IVF.

Once she starts stims it’s all locked down. Husband is being a giant baby.

Then there’s no problem since stimming hasn’t happened. Nothing is locked except for the spouse’s surgery.

So his needs suddenly trump hers.

Her need for an unborn child vs his daily pain??!! Really?

The timing is telling.

This. Why now?