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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Husband refusing to push his surgery
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Anonymous
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I am in the process of doing IVF and have started to take the birth control they gave me to shut everything down before they give me the hormone injections. By the end of October, I will have to do my egg retrieval.
My husband has been suffering from gastric issues for the past 3 years. He is on intense anti-acid medications to control his stomach acid and without which he is in chronic pain after eating it even just randomly. A few weeks ago he randomly decided to go to a surgeon to get a second opinion. The surgeon said he can do a surgery to close his Haitial hernia and that should essentially end his gastric issues forever. The problem is, my husband scheduled his surgery for the end of October, the same week my egg retrieval is supposed to take place. I told him as he was exploring surgery to ensure it doesn’t conflict with my egg retrieval and he said ok but now he is so stubborn and adamant. He said he will not push his surgery as he has been in pain for 3 years and he cannot be in pain any more! I say, I am just asking to push it back a week so that I can be well enough to help him in recovery. He wants me to call my fertility clinic and ask them to see if my retrieval can be moved a day or two. Am I the jerk or is he the jerk? |
Anonymous
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He's an idiot. You can't move a retrieval, it has to be on the correct day.
I would accept his decision and not help him very much. Let the consequences be his to deal with. When you do have a child he's gonna have to cope with a lot less wife attention so he might as well get used to it. |
Anonymous
| You are |
Anonymous
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He should call and see if his can be moved but that’s often not possible. Yours can’t be moved.
So this sucks but sometimes it happens that way. |
Anonymous
| You are!!! |
Anonymous
| I'm not understanding the issue. He freezes his sperm, you both get surgery, done. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
| I would look into hiring someone to help take care of him. |
Anonymous
| I don’t see why your egg retrieval would prevent you from helping him. Also don’t see why he needs a bunch of help. I think you are worrying too much. Both of you will be fine. Ask a friend to drop off food if you think that’s necessary. |
Anonymous
| Chronic pain really sucks, OP. I'd want to get the surgery asap, too, if I was him. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
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You cannot reschedule anything, OP.
You'll just have to deal with this. |
Anonymous
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It sounds like you're feeling overwhelmed, and he's seeing an exit ramp from his horrible pain condition and not wanting to delay even one day, and he also is clueless as to how IVF works and what to expect.
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Anonymous
| I’m not sure why he has to change his surgery. I don’t think he needs help and I don’t think you do either. Both of you should be fine. |
Anonymous
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Are they on the exact same day?
I would not worry about helping him. Hire a nurse if need be. |