Why is there such disdain for stay at home parents?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I could care less about what anyone else thinks. My life, my kids, my choice. I work not because I have to/need to financially, but because it is fulfilling to me. I have my own business and set my own hours, to an extent. I also want my kids to see me as a productive and a finacial contributor to the family. I make a small fraction of what DH makes but I pay for all the kids' extra curriculars. There are always 'mommy wars', you have to ignore and move on from the noise.

Respectfully, I find the “I work outside the home to be a better model for my children“ to be an absolute copout. Nobody really does tnat. They do it because they want to work or have to work. Period. It has nothing to do with “modeling for the children”

NP. This just isn't true but you can keep saying it if you want. It won't make it any more true though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Based on what my working friends say, jealousy.

I’m not jealous of someone who isn’t talented enough to get a high-paying, flexible remote full-time job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When husbands outsource childcare to their wives while they work, nobody bats an eye.

When working wives/mothers outsource childcare to a nanny or daycare, people judge.

Your post makes zero sense. It’s not “outsourcing” when a mother does the childcare. It’s “outsourcing” when neither parent does.

Well, most women nowadays aren’t going to give up a career just to have kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I could care less about what anyone else thinks. My life, my kids, my choice. I work not because I have to/need to financially, but because it is fulfilling to me. I have my own business and set my own hours, to an extent. I also want my kids to see me as a productive and a finacial contributor to the family. I make a small fraction of what DH makes but I pay for all the kids' extra curriculars. There are always 'mommy wars', you have to ignore and move on from the noise.

Respectfully, I find the “I work outside the home to be a better model for my children“ to be an absolute copout. Nobody really does tnat. They do it because they want to work or have to work. Period. It has nothing to do with “modeling for the children”

SAHP here. I disagree with you a bit. I don't know how much it actually is the sole motivation of somebody's choice, but I do think that a kid raised in your typical SAHM/working dad dynamic is more likely to have the wrong idea bout gender roles. But I also think the same is true of situations where both parents work but the mom is essentially also the manager of the household. That's the downfall of a lot of younger millennial men, I think.

Working mom here. 1000%. I think dual-working families where the mom still does everything are way worse than SAHP households in terms of modeling for children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Based on what my working friends say, jealousy.

I’m not jealous of someone who isn’t talented enough to get a high-paying, flexible remote full-time job.

Ohhh burn!!! /s

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Based on what my working friends say, jealousy.

I’m not jealous of someone who isn’t talented enough to get a high-paying, flexible remote full-time job.

Ohhh burn!!! /s

You’re basically a live-in prostitute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I could care less about what anyone else thinks. My life, my kids, my choice. I work not because I have to/need to financially, but because it is fulfilling to me. I have my own business and set my own hours, to an extent. I also want my kids to see me as a productive and a finacial contributor to the family. I make a small fraction of what DH makes but I pay for all the kids' extra curriculars. There are always 'mommy wars', you have to ignore and move on from the noise.

Respectfully, I find the “I work outside the home to be a better model for my children“ to be an absolute copout. Nobody really does tnat. They do it because they want to work or have to work. Period. It has nothing to do with “modeling for the children”

NP. This just isn't true but you can keep saying it if you want. It won't make it any more true though.

Well if it’s true then it sure is a dumb reason to do it, especially when the only real result is more stress on family life and less time spent with family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I could care less about what anyone else thinks. My life, my kids, my choice. I work not because I have to/need to financially, but because it is fulfilling to me. I have my own business and set my own hours, to an extent. I also want my kids to see me as a productive and a finacial contributor to the family. I make a small fraction of what DH makes but I pay for all the kids' extra curriculars. There are always 'mommy wars', you have to ignore and move on from the noise.

Respectfully, I find the “I work outside the home to be a better model for my children“ to be an absolute copout. Nobody really does tnat. They do it because they want to work or have to work. Period. It has nothing to do with “modeling for the children”

NP. This just isn't true but you can keep saying it if you want. It won't make it any more true though.

Well if it’s true then it sure is a dumb reason to do it, especially when the only real result is more stress on family life and less time spent with family.

What a sad and small world view you have. You must not be friends with very successful people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When husbands outsource childcare to their wives while they work, nobody bats an eye.

When working wives/mothers outsource childcare to a nanny or daycare, people judge.

Your post makes zero sense. It’s not “outsourcing” when a mother does the childcare. It’s “outsourcing” when neither parent does.

Well, most women nowadays aren’t going to give up a career just to have kids.

Lol at “just.” Sure shows your priorities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When husbands outsource childcare to their wives while they work, nobody bats an eye.

When working wives/mothers outsource childcare to a nanny or daycare, people judge.

Your post makes zero sense. It’s not “outsourcing” when a mother does the childcare. It’s “outsourcing” when neither parent does.

Well, most women nowadays aren’t going to give up a career just to have kids.

Lol at “just.” Sure shows your priorities.

It’s career + kids or not have kids at all. SAHM was never something I considered.

[Anonymous]

It’s all fun & games until he leaves you for the hot, young 2nd wife, you haven’t worked in 20 years and can’t afford a house in the same good school zone. Oh, and he drained the accounts during the divorce.

ALWAYS have a secret, non-interest-bearing savings or checking account.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Based on what my working friends say, jealousy.

I’m not jealous of someone who isn’t talented enough to get a high-paying, flexible remote full-time job.

Ohhh burn!!! /s

You’re basically a live-in prostitute.

Hmm, that's not an insult to me but I don't think prostitutes like the men they sleep with, and I never sleep with DH out of obligation or duty. So there are some differences there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:WOHM here. I sort of wish I was jealous. But honestly I just don't understand people who aren't motivated to pursue career goals.

Now THAT is truly bizarre. The majority of working people - both men and women - aren’t “pursuing career goals.” They’re working because they HAVE to, not because they want to. And if your primary motivation in life is your “career” then I feel sorry for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When husbands outsource childcare to their wives while they work, nobody bats an eye.

When working wives/mothers outsource childcare to a nanny or daycare, people judge.

Your post makes zero sense. It’s not “outsourcing” when a mother does the childcare. It’s “outsourcing” when neither parent does.

Well, most women nowadays aren’t going to give up a career just to have kids.

Lol at “just.” Sure shows your priorities.

It’s career + kids or not have kids at all. SAHM was never something I considered.

Sad

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I could care less about what anyone else thinks. My life, my kids, my choice. I work not because I have to/need to financially, but because it is fulfilling to me. I have my own business and set my own hours, to an extent. I also want my kids to see me as a productive and a finacial contributor to the family. I make a small fraction of what DH makes but I pay for all the kids' extra curriculars. There are always 'mommy wars', you have to ignore and move on from the noise.

Respectfully, I find the “I work outside the home to be a better model for my children“ to be an absolute copout. Nobody really does tnat. They do it because they want to work or have to work. Period. It has nothing to do with “modeling for the children”

NP. This just isn't true but you can keep saying it if you want. It won't make it any more true though.

Well if it’s true then it sure is a dumb reason to do it, especially when the only real result is more stress on family life and less time spent with family.

What a sad and small world view you have. You must not be friends with very successful people.

Depends on how one defines “success” I suppose. I sure don’t define it by the job a person has.