So tired of MIL acting like she’s the hostess in my home

[Anonymous]

You seem very rigid. And like the type of host that would make some insanely decadent, unhealthy breakfast and then refuse to eat it yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL is stepping in because of OP’s weird, stringent food rules. If you have house guests, feed them. “We eat at 5” and not allowing food and drink otherwise is being a bad host.

Are you really unable to read? I have said numerous times that I am hosting houseguests for multiple days. We serve breakfast, lunch, cocktail hour with appetizers and dinner, and the kitchen is open any time someone wants anything. But you tried it!

Oh yes, I see now that you posted almost this same exact comment earlier! There is no way that someone like you is the easy-going hostess you’re trying to portray yourself as. You’re being too controlling with what and when your houseguests can eat/drink. Your MIL feels the need to step in, apparently with good reason.

This. Why else would it not be ok to open wine at 3?

Can you read? Husband had to step in to say, “No mom, that’s the wine we’re serving at dinner.”
Would any of you go to someone’s home and start opening wine and serving it to other guests at 3pm? Seriously?

Absolutely yes. God damn you are very strange.

Team MIL 100%

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL is stepping in because of OP’s weird, stringent food rules. If you have house guests, feed them. “We eat at 5” and not allowing food and drink otherwise is being a bad host.

Are you really unable to read? I have said numerous times that I am hosting houseguests for multiple days. We serve breakfast, lunch, cocktail hour with appetizers and dinner, and the kitchen is open any time someone wants anything. But you tried it!

Oh yes, I see now that you posted almost this same exact comment earlier! There is no way that someone like you is the easy-going hostess you’re trying to portray yourself as. You’re being too controlling with what and when your houseguests can eat/drink. Your MIL feels the need to step in, apparently with good reason.

This. Why else would it not be ok to open wine at 3?

Can you read? Husband had to step in to say, “No mom, that’s the wine we’re serving at dinner.”
Would any of you go to someone’s home and start opening wine and serving it to other guests at 3pm? Seriously?

I wouldn’t have a single, very special bottle of wine that could not be opened for my house guests. I would have plenty of food and wine available, and save that specific bottle until dinner.

Yes it sounds weird. One very special bottle that can’t be touched? How long were guests sitting and waiting to be offered food and drink? Nothing between 3 and 5?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL is stepping in because of OP’s weird, stringent food rules. If you have house guests, feed them. “We eat at 5” and not allowing food and drink otherwise is being a bad host.

Are you really unable to read? I have said numerous times that I am hosting houseguests for multiple days. We serve breakfast, lunch, cocktail hour with appetizers and dinner, and the kitchen is open any time someone wants anything. But you tried it!

Oh yes, I see now that you posted almost this same exact comment earlier! There is no way that someone like you is the easy-going hostess you’re trying to portray yourself as. You’re being too controlling with what and when your houseguests can eat/drink. Your MIL feels the need to step in, apparently with good reason.

This. Why else would it not be ok to open wine at 3?

Can you read? Husband had to step in to say, “No mom, that’s the wine we’re serving at dinner.”
Would any of you go to someone’s home and start opening wine and serving it to other guests at 3pm? Seriously?

Oh yes, I read that. I am just looking at is as a host, I keep tons of food and drinks in the house and don’t sweat it if people take/use something. That’s what it’s there for. And if a guest used a specific bottle then I’d just choose another for dinner. That’s why this whole scenario is so strange.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL is stepping in because of OP’s weird, stringent food rules. If you have house guests, feed them. “We eat at 5” and not allowing food and drink otherwise is being a bad host.

Are you really unable to read? I have said numerous times that I am hosting houseguests for multiple days. We serve breakfast, lunch, cocktail hour with appetizers and dinner, and the kitchen is open any time someone wants anything. But you tried it!

Oh yes, I see now that you posted almost this same exact comment earlier! There is no way that someone like you is the easy-going hostess you’re trying to portray yourself as. You’re being too controlling with what and when your houseguests can eat/drink. Your MIL feels the need to step in, apparently with good reason.

This. Why else would it not be ok to open wine at 3?

Can you read? Husband had to step in to say, “No mom, that’s the wine we’re serving at dinner.”
Would any of you go to someone’s home and start opening wine and serving it to other guests at 3pm? Seriously?

Absolutely yes. God damn you are very strange.

Team MIL 100%

+2. I can just see op screaming “BrEAkfasT is AT SeVEn, if you don’t eat at seven you wait until lunch at eXActly noon!” Sounds like a great host. /s

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL is stepping in because of OP’s weird, stringent food rules. If you have house guests, feed them. “We eat at 5” and not allowing food and drink otherwise is being a bad host.

Are you really unable to read? I have said numerous times that I am hosting houseguests for multiple days. We serve breakfast, lunch, cocktail hour with appetizers and dinner, and the kitchen is open any time someone wants anything. But you tried it!

Oh yes, I see now that you posted almost this same exact comment earlier! There is no way that someone like you is the easy-going hostess you’re trying to portray yourself as. You’re being too controlling with what and when your houseguests can eat/drink. Your MIL feels the need to step in, apparently with good reason.

With an open kitchen and a full bar provided every night, the only kind of person who feels the need to break out wine at 3 p.m. is a wino, not a Hostess with the Mostess. Sounds like MIL has a problem that is hard to hide at other people’s houses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every time MIL visits, it’s the same thing. Because our house is centrally located and we have lots of space, we host a lot of holidays, including overnight visitors. DH and I always have the house professionally cleaned, it is nicely decorated, and we stock up on lots of food and beverages. Meals are planned and prepared and get lots of compliments. It is a lot of work.

I can’t stand how MIL fusses over things, gets in the way, messes with our flow and our plans, and offers me things in my own home. *I* set up coffee and am hard at work making breakfast for everyone, and when it’s all set out, she offers it to me as if she has made it. She starts offering people wine and snacks at 3 p.m., when DH and I serve those things at 5 p.m. Then she gets miffed when DH says “No, mom, we’re going to do X and Y at 5 o’clock, and that wine is actually for dinner.” She never sits down and acts like a guest. And no, she doesn’t bring dishes or wine or anything, and doesn’t offer to do anything actually helpful. She basically tries to run our show, but doesn’t actually bring so much as a side dish or an extra bottle of red. I’m so over it.

I'd expect drinks and appetizers out and ready when guests arrive. Do you actually starve your guests and prohibit wine or beer till 5pm? If so, your MIL is a hero.

Definitely. OP sounds stingy AF. Buy more wine if that’s what the people want. Why do you have only enough for dinner?

OP here. Because we were serving specific wine with dinner. We had other wine, beer, cocktails and non-alcoholic beverages for cocktail hour.

Then she grabbed it bc it was the most easily accessed bottle of wine. Just offer your guests some happy hour wine and stop being a bad hostess. I think you’re just embarrassed she made you look bad but you need to up your game and throw the rigid schedule out the window.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL is stepping in because of OP’s weird, stringent food rules. If you have house guests, feed them. “We eat at 5” and not allowing food and drink otherwise is being a bad host.

Are you really unable to read? I have said numerous times that I am hosting houseguests for multiple days. We serve breakfast, lunch, cocktail hour with appetizers and dinner, and the kitchen is open any time someone wants anything. But you tried it!

Oh yes, I see now that you posted almost this same exact comment earlier! There is no way that someone like you is the easy-going hostess you’re trying to portray yourself as. You’re being too controlling with what and when your houseguests can eat/drink. Your MIL feels the need to step in, apparently with good reason.

With an open kitchen and a full bar provided every night, the only kind of person who feels the need to break out wine at 3 p.m. is a wino, not a Hostess with the Mostess. Sounds like MIL has a problem that is hard to hide at other people’s houses.

Did she guzzle it herself or offer to the wino relatives?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Isn't dinner at 5 or 5:30? If I had to starve until 5 or 5:30 to finally get a few cheese slices, I'd never come back.

Are you 85? We are hosting multiple houseguests for multiple days. We serve breakfast around 7, lunch around 12, cocktail hour at 5, dinner around 6/6:30. And the kitchen is open all day. Who is starving?!

No, I am 48, and my relatives throw "holidays" for about 30-75 people, maybe 10 trays of appetizers, a full size bar with 15 stools and booze flowing, oh I forgot the bar has 5-10 more appetizers, fully stocked, real arcade games, poker table going, movie room going, and then yes we have dinner at 5:30, they have catering equipment, some have sternos going for heat, maybe main dish is a few 19 pound turkeys, all homemade sides. Nobody has to fuss about getting food or serving it. It's just there everywhere the entire freaking time. You did say you throw holidays. Booze is not rationed to cocktail hour, food is not saved for a particular time slot. You are a weirdo. Even if guests stay for the day before or after the holiday, it's polite to leave out food for people to snack on and drinks mid-afternoon. I use an island to display chips, nuts, cheeses, crackers. After 2 days maybe I drop the cheeses. Who doesn't do that? Who sets an hour for when drinks and snacks are permitted? I know some hotels offer a cocktail hour, but that's different.

“Booze,” arcade games, poker and movies—this sounds like a frat house. Anyway, some of us have more elegant gatherings. I bet some of your “displayed” items are in the shape of a Christmas tree or Easter Bunny butts. Live, Laugh, Love! GATHER.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Isn't dinner at 5 or 5:30? If I had to starve until 5 or 5:30 to finally get a few cheese slices, I'd never come back.

Are you 85? We are hosting multiple houseguests for multiple days. We serve breakfast around 7, lunch around 12, cocktail hour at 5, dinner around 6/6:30. And the kitchen is open all day. Who is starving?!

No, I am 48, and my relatives throw "holidays" for about 30-75 people, maybe 10 trays of appetizers, a full size bar with 15 stools and booze flowing, oh I forgot the bar has 5-10 more appetizers, fully stocked, real arcade games, poker table going, movie room going, and then yes we have dinner at 5:30, they have catering equipment, some have sternos going for heat, maybe main dish is a few 19 pound turkeys, all homemade sides. Nobody has to fuss about getting food or serving it. It's just there everywhere the entire freaking time. You did say you throw holidays. Booze is not rationed to cocktail hour, food is not saved for a particular time slot. You are a weirdo. Even if guests stay for the day before or after the holiday, it's polite to leave out food for people to snack on and drinks mid-afternoon. I use an island to display chips, nuts, cheeses, crackers. After 2 days maybe I drop the cheeses. Who doesn't do that? Who sets an hour for when drinks and snacks are permitted? I know some hotels offer a cocktail hour, but that's different.

“Booze,” arcade games, poker and movies—this sounds like a frat house. Anyway, some of us have more elegant gatherings. I bet some of your “displayed” items are in the shape of a Christmas tree or Easter Bunny butts. Live, Laugh, Love! GATHER.

The WASP has arrived.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Isn't dinner at 5 or 5:30? If I had to starve until 5 or 5:30 to finally get a few cheese slices, I'd never come back.

Are you 85? We are hosting multiple houseguests for multiple days. We serve breakfast around 7, lunch around 12, cocktail hour at 5, dinner around 6/6:30. And the kitchen is open all day. Who is starving?!

No, I am 48, and my relatives throw "holidays" for about 30-75 people, maybe 10 trays of appetizers, a full size bar with 15 stools and booze flowing, oh I forgot the bar has 5-10 more appetizers, fully stocked, real arcade games, poker table going, movie room going, and then yes we have dinner at 5:30, they have catering equipment, some have sternos going for heat, maybe main dish is a few 19 pound turkeys, all homemade sides. Nobody has to fuss about getting food or serving it. It's just there everywhere the entire freaking time. You did say you throw holidays. Booze is not rationed to cocktail hour, food is not saved for a particular time slot. You are a weirdo. Even if guests stay for the day before or after the holiday, it's polite to leave out food for people to snack on and drinks mid-afternoon. I use an island to display chips, nuts, cheeses, crackers. After 2 days maybe I drop the cheeses. Who doesn't do that? Who sets an hour for when drinks and snacks are permitted? I know some hotels offer a cocktail hour, but that's different.

“Booze,” arcade games, poker and movies—this sounds like a frat house. Anyway, some of us have more elegant gatherings. I bet some of your “displayed” items are in the shape of a Christmas tree or Easter Bunny butts. Live, Laugh, Love! GATHER.

The WASP has arrived.

No, WASPs are good hosts, with plenty of alcohol. PP sounds like…someone who doesn’t actually have guests, lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Isn't dinner at 5 or 5:30? If I had to starve until 5 or 5:30 to finally get a few cheese slices, I'd never come back.

Are you 85? We are hosting multiple houseguests for multiple days. We serve breakfast around 7, lunch around 12, cocktail hour at 5, dinner around 6/6:30. And the kitchen is open all day. Who is starving?!

No, I am 48, and my relatives throw "holidays" for about 30-75 people, maybe 10 trays of appetizers, a full size bar with 15 stools and booze flowing, oh I forgot the bar has 5-10 more appetizers, fully stocked, real arcade games, poker table going, movie room going, and then yes we have dinner at 5:30, they have catering equipment, some have sternos going for heat, maybe main dish is a few 19 pound turkeys, all homemade sides. Nobody has to fuss about getting food or serving it. It's just there everywhere the entire freaking time. You did say you throw holidays. Booze is not rationed to cocktail hour, food is not saved for a particular time slot. You are a weirdo. Even if guests stay for the day before or after the holiday, it's polite to leave out food for people to snack on and drinks mid-afternoon. I use an island to display chips, nuts, cheeses, crackers. After 2 days maybe I drop the cheeses. Who doesn't do that? Who sets an hour for when drinks and snacks are permitted? I know some hotels offer a cocktail hour, but that's different.

“Booze,” arcade games, poker and movies—this sounds like a frat house. Anyway, some of us have more elegant gatherings. I bet some of your “displayed” items are in the shape of a Christmas tree or Easter Bunny butts. Live, Laugh, Love! GATHER.

The hosts own a few multimillion companies but sure, whatever makes you feel better about you

[Anonymous]

playing tit for tat like I paid for that, or bickering over the price of a bottle of wine or rationing food is what's super tackey. Why don't you put sticky notes on your food and beverages you want to "save." lol

[Anonymous]

cOcKtAiL HoUr StArTs aT 5:00

Chill out OP

[Anonymous]

Team OP. MIL is out of line.

It would be annoying having to hide the wine you want to serve with dinner in your own house so MIL doesn’t break it out mid afternoon.

Question OP - is mid afternoon wine some kind of tradition of theirs back home on holidays? I honestly don’t know anyone who does that.