Has anyone managed to convince their spouse to NOT spend Christmas with their family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My spouse insists on spending Christmas with their family. I should have nipped this in the bud early on in our relationship (I am not Christian, so spending Christmas with my family is not a priority), but now I'm kind of pissed about it - Christmas would be an ideal time to take a long vacation, to spend time together in our home, etc..., but now we've set a precedent and I can't convince my spouse otherwise. Any tips and good arguments against this? Kids are in elementary school. They like Christmas with their grandparents, but that's mostly because they get a lot of presents - I'd be willing to have a faux Christmas with them another weekend and my kids would be okay with that, too. This year, due to weather, we spent Christmas morning at home and the kids and I agreed that it was awesome. My DH was the only one who wished he'd had Christmas morning with his family. He SAYS this is pressure from his family to spend Christmas with them, but I don't know if that's actually true. Would LOVE to hear your tips on convincing him to compromise on this. He thinks he's already compromising because we only spend a few days with his family

You want to do the opposite of what your spouse and your kids want to do because....

me me me me.

Grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your DH actively wants to spend Christmas with them and you don’t celebrate Christmas, it is pretty mean-spirited of you to actively try to prevent it. After all, it is just another day to you. I mean, he said he wishes to see them on Christmas, and your kids don’t mind it. What is your problem?

She literally said in the OP what her problem is…. There’s nothing mean spirited about wanting to spend time with your immediate family or go on vacation. Yeesh people.

OP didn't say she wants to spend time with her own family, just that she wants to go on vacation instead. Yeeesh, pp.

No. She said she enjoyed Christmas at home with her kids. If she hadn’t said she wasn’t Christian/didn’t care about Christmas and just said she wanted to celebrate Christmas at home with her nuclear family, none of you would have a problem with it. Instead people are calling her all kinds of awful names for no reason.

But she doesn’t celebrate Christmas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My spouse insists on spending Christmas with their family. I should have nipped this in the bud early on in our relationship (I am not Christian, so spending Christmas with my family is not a priority), but now I'm kind of pissed about it - Christmas would be an ideal time to take a long vacation, to spend time together in our home, etc...This year, due to weather, we spent Christmas morning at home and the kids and I agreed that it was awesome. ...we only spend a few days with his family

The OP elementary school children don't want to see the GP. Any GP to GC gifts can de delivered to OP house and opened on arrival. If only one in the OP family interested in Christmas stuff is the DH, perhaps he solo flies or drives to distant non-local parents? OP and kids can travel and DH travel to meet up with them on the 26th? Maybe the $ spent by GP on gifts should now be cash or the ever popular and useful Amazon e gift card?

It is winter and weather happens plus travel is expensive since there can be full bookings. Bad weather in one location causes flight changes and cancellations in other locations. Travel and/or the DH going solo to his parents could also remove any decorating obligations OP has felt compelled to participate in because of the DH.

That’s not what OP said. OP said that although the kids enjoyed Christmas at home this year, 3/4 family members enjoy being with GPS on Christmas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your DH actively wants to spend Christmas with them and you don’t celebrate Christmas, it is pretty mean-spirited of you to actively try to prevent it. After all, it is just another day to you. I mean, he said he wishes to see them on Christmas, and your kids don’t mind it. What is your problem?

She literally said in the OP what her problem is…. There’s nothing mean spirited about wanting to spend time with your immediate family or go on vacation. Yeesh people.

OP didn't say she wants to spend time with her own family, just that she wants to go on vacation instead. Yeeesh, pp.

No. She said she enjoyed Christmas at home with her kids. If she hadn’t said she wasn’t Christian/didn’t care about Christmas and just said she wanted to celebrate Christmas at home with her nuclear family, none of you would have a problem with it. Instead people are calling her all kinds of awful names for no reason.

I think she enjoyed the not traveling to in-laws part of Christmas. Not sure OP, a nonChristian, was telling us she enjoyed Christmas.

So this part of her op: “we spent Christmas morning at home and the kids and I agreed that it was awesome.” is entirely negated by her not being Christian? Some of you are being way to nit picky and harsh here after the last what 2 months of endless DCUM posts about hating in laws at the holidays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your DH actively wants to spend Christmas with them and you don’t celebrate Christmas, it is pretty mean-spirited of you to actively try to prevent it. After all, it is just another day to you. I mean, he said he wishes to see them on Christmas, and your kids don’t mind it. What is your problem?

She literally said in the OP what her problem is…. There’s nothing mean spirited about wanting to spend time with your immediate family or go on vacation. Yeesh people.

OP didn't say she wants to spend time with her own family, just that she wants to go on vacation instead. Yeeesh, pp.

No. She said she enjoyed Christmas at home with her kids. If she hadn’t said she wasn’t Christian/didn’t care about Christmas and just said she wanted to celebrate Christmas at home with her nuclear family, none of you would have a problem with it. Instead people are calling her all kinds of awful names for no reason.

But she doesn’t celebrate Christmas.

Obviously, they do celebrate Christmas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your DH actively wants to spend Christmas with them and you don’t celebrate Christmas, it is pretty mean-spirited of you to actively try to prevent it. After all, it is just another day to you. I mean, he said he wishes to see them on Christmas, and your kids don’t mind it. What is your problem?

She literally said in the OP what her problem is…. There’s nothing mean spirited about wanting to spend time with your immediate family or go on vacation. Yeesh people.

OP didn't say she wants to spend time with her own family, just that she wants to go on vacation instead. Yeeesh, pp.

No. She said she enjoyed Christmas at home with her kids. If she hadn’t said she wasn’t Christian/didn’t care about Christmas and just said she wanted to celebrate Christmas at home with her nuclear family, none of you would have a problem with it. Instead people are calling her all kinds of awful names for no reason.

I think she enjoyed the not traveling to in-laws part of Christmas. Not sure OP, a nonChristian, was telling us she enjoyed Christmas.

So this part of her op: “we spent Christmas morning at home and the kids and I agreed that it was awesome.” is entirely negated by her not being Christian? Some of you are being way to nit picky and harsh here after the last what 2 months of endless DCUM posts about hating in laws at the holidays.

In the context of her not wanting to travel to the in-laws, yes, it is negated. She doesn’t want to travel, and guess what? She found not traveling awesome. This post isn’t about celebrating in her home. Her post is about vacation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That’s mean, OP. It’s Christmas. It’s meant to be spent with family.

And Christmas is actually a bad time to travel because it’s expensive and places tend to shut down for a couple days.

+1. Also, have some respect for other people's religions. Don't be so intolerant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your DH actively wants to spend Christmas with them and you don’t celebrate Christmas, it is pretty mean-spirited of you to actively try to prevent it. After all, it is just another day to you. I mean, he said he wishes to see them on Christmas, and your kids don’t mind it. What is your problem?

She literally said in the OP what her problem is…. There’s nothing mean spirited about wanting to spend time with your immediate family or go on vacation. Yeesh people.

OP didn't say she wants to spend time with her own family, just that she wants to go on vacation instead. Yeeesh, pp.

No. She said she enjoyed Christmas at home with her kids. If she hadn’t said she wasn’t Christian/didn’t care about Christmas and just said she wanted to celebrate Christmas at home with her nuclear family, none of you would have a problem with it. Instead people are calling her all kinds of awful names for no reason.

I think she enjoyed the not traveling to in-laws part of Christmas. Not sure OP, a nonChristian, was telling us she enjoyed Christmas.

So this part of her op: “we spent Christmas morning at home and the kids and I agreed that it was awesome.” is entirely negated by her not being Christian? Some of you are being way to nit picky and harsh here after the last what 2 months of endless DCUM posts about hating in laws at the holidays.

In the context of her not wanting to travel to the in-laws, yes, it is negated. She doesn’t want to travel, and guess what? She found not traveling awesome. This post isn’t about celebrating in her home. Her post is about vacation.

Goodness again with the reading comprehension issues. Her post included vacation AND spending time as a family at home as options for Christmas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s mean, OP. It’s Christmas. It’s meant to be spent with family.

And Christmas is actually a bad time to travel because it’s expensive and places tend to shut down for a couple days.

+1. Also, have some respect for other people's religions. Don't be so intolerant.

Likewise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My spouse insists on spending Christmas with their family. I should have nipped this in the bud early on in our relationship (I am not Christian, so spending Christmas with my family is not a priority), but now I'm kind of pissed about it - Christmas would be an ideal time to take a long vacation, to spend time together in our home, etc..., but now we've set a precedent and I can't convince my spouse otherwise. Any tips and good arguments against this? Kids are in elementary school. They like Christmas with their grandparents, but that's mostly because they get a lot of presents - I'd be willing to have a faux Christmas with them another weekend and my kids would be okay with that, too. This year, due to weather, we spent Christmas morning at home and the kids and I agreed that it was awesome. My DH was the only one who wished he'd had Christmas morning with his family. He SAYS this is pressure from his family to spend Christmas with them, but I don't know if that's actually true. Would LOVE to hear your tips on convincing him to compromise on this. He thinks he's already compromising because we only spend a few days with his family

So much hate and ignorance in just one post.

OP, do you love your husband? Do you love your kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your DH actively wants to spend Christmas with them and you don’t celebrate Christmas, it is pretty mean-spirited of you to actively try to prevent it. After all, it is just another day to you. I mean, he said he wishes to see them on Christmas, and your kids don’t mind it. What is your problem?

She literally said in the OP what her problem is…. There’s nothing mean spirited about wanting to spend time with your immediate family or go on vacation. Yeesh people.

OP didn't say she wants to spend time with her own family, just that she wants to go on vacation instead. Yeeesh, pp.

No. She said she enjoyed Christmas at home with her kids. If she hadn’t said she wasn’t Christian/didn’t care about Christmas and just said she wanted to celebrate Christmas at home with her nuclear family, none of you would have a problem with it. Instead people are calling her all kinds of awful names for no reason.

I think she enjoyed the not traveling to in-laws part of Christmas. Not sure OP, a nonChristian, was telling us she enjoyed Christmas.

So this part of her op: “we spent Christmas morning at home and the kids and I agreed that it was awesome.” is entirely negated by her not being Christian? Some of you are being way to nit picky and harsh here after the last what 2 months of endless DCUM posts about hating in laws at the holidays.

In the context of her not wanting to travel to the in-laws, yes, it is negated. She doesn’t want to travel, and guess what? She found not traveling awesome. This post isn’t about celebrating in her home. Her post is about vacation

Goodness again with the reading comprehension issues. Her post included vacation AND spending time as a family at home as options for Christmas.

She’s already said Christmas isn’t her priority. Her post is about it traveling. Not sure what you are missing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your DH actively wants to spend Christmas with them and you don’t celebrate Christmas, it is pretty mean-spirited of you to actively try to prevent it. After all, it is just another day to you. I mean, he said he wishes to see them on Christmas, and your kids don’t mind it. What is your problem?

She literally said in the OP what her problem is…. There’s nothing mean spirited about wanting to spend time with your immediate family or go on vacation. Yeesh people.

OP didn't say she wants to spend time with her own family, just that she wants to go on vacation instead. Yeeesh, pp.

No. She said she enjoyed Christmas at home with her kids. If she hadn’t said she wasn’t Christian/didn’t care about Christmas and just said she wanted to celebrate Christmas at home with her nuclear family, none of you would have a problem with it. Instead people are calling her all kinds of awful names for no reason.

I think she enjoyed the not traveling to in-laws part of Christmas. Not sure OP, a nonChristian, was telling us she enjoyed Christmas.

So this part of her op: “we spent Christmas morning at home and the kids and I agreed that it was awesome.” is entirely negated by her not being Christian? Some of you are being way to nit picky and harsh here after the last what 2 months of endless DCUM posts about hating in laws at the holidays.

In the context of her not wanting to travel to the in-laws, yes, it is negated. She doesn’t want to travel, and guess what? She found not traveling awesome. This post isn’t about celebrating in her home. Her post is about vacation

Goodness again with the reading comprehension issues. Her post included vacation AND spending time as a family at home as options for Christmas.

She’s already said Christmas isn’t her priority. Her post is about it traveling. Not sure what you are missing.

Read her OP again. You are the one missing things. Some of you should really look in the mirror with the vitriol you’re spewing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your DH actively wants to spend Christmas with them and you don’t celebrate Christmas, it is pretty mean-spirited of you to actively try to prevent it. After all, it is just another day to you. I mean, he said he wishes to see them on Christmas, and your kids don’t mind it. What is your problem?

She literally said in the OP what her problem is…. There’s nothing mean spirited about wanting to spend time with your immediate family or go on vacation. Yeesh people.

OP didn't say she wants to spend time with her own family, just that she wants to go on vacation instead. Yeeesh, pp.

No. She said she enjoyed Christmas at home with her kids. If she hadn’t said she wasn’t Christian/didn’t care about Christmas and just said she wanted to celebrate Christmas at home with her nuclear family, none of you would have a problem with it. Instead people are calling her all kinds of awful names for no reason.

I think she enjoyed the not traveling to in-laws part of Christmas. Not sure OP, a nonChristian, was telling us she enjoyed Christmas.

So this part of her op: “we spent Christmas morning at home and the kids and I agreed that it was awesome.” is entirely negated by her not being Christian? Some of you are being way to nit picky and harsh here after the last what 2 months of endless DCUM posts about hating in laws at the holidays.

In the context of her not wanting to travel to the in-laws, yes, it is negated. She doesn’t want to travel, and guess what? She found not traveling awesome. This post isn’t about celebrating in her home. Her post is about vacation

Goodness again with the reading comprehension issues. Her post included vacation AND spending time as a family at home as options for Christmas.

She’s already said Christmas isn’t her priority. Her post is about it traveling. Not sure what you are missing.

Read her OP again. You are the one missing things. Some of you should really look in the mirror with the vitriol you’re spewing.

Kindly, take a look at the title.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your DH actively wants to spend Christmas with them and you don’t celebrate Christmas, it is pretty mean-spirited of you to actively try to prevent it. After all, it is just another day to you. I mean, he said he wishes to see them on Christmas, and your kids don’t mind it. What is your problem?

She literally said in the OP what her problem is…. There’s nothing mean spirited about wanting to spend time with your immediate family or go on vacation. Yeesh people.

OP didn't say she wants to spend time with her own family, just that she wants to go on vacation instead. Yeeesh, pp.

No. She said she enjoyed Christmas at home with her kids. If she hadn’t said she wasn’t Christian/didn’t care about Christmas and just said she wanted to celebrate Christmas at home with her nuclear family, none of you would have a problem with it. Instead people are calling her all kinds of awful names for no reason.

But she doesn’t celebrate Christmas.

Right, but SHE doesn’t. The least she can do is stay out of their way and not try to thwart Christmas plans with family just because the holiday does not mean anything to her.

Obviously, they do celebrate Christmas.

[Anonymous]

Some years I need a break from the pressures and traditions of Christmas with my in-laws. The driving force for my mil is her memory of Christmas from when she was a child, but she now wants her non-Christian daughter-in-laws (not her own sons) to continue her childhood dream. My husband has no desire to take up the responsibility so we alternate years and do our own thing, which is relaxing and allows us to have memories of our own, in our home. For the people who say you’re not even Christian so what’s the big deal in just showing up for Christmas- it is exhausting to have to fit into someone else’s Christmas childhood fantasy-tradition.