Bless your beautiful soul. |
OP, take heed. This is another downside of being a woman who married a man who is financially successful: you learn how many people secretly wish destruction on your whole life. Envy truly is the root of evil. Before DCUM, I knew that existed somewhat, but I had no idea how pervasive the sentiment was. |
NP here, I’m curious what you mean that your husband has extremely high expectations and that you and your kids feel them? In what way- looks, being achievers academically or career for you, athletically? |
HUH??? I'm the one that made the above statement. Not sure how you interpreted as me wishing destruction on your whole life. Being cheated on when married a wealthy successful man is an unfortunate reality women dont want to discuss nor even acknowledge. You may not be your husband's only wife. Thats something a lot of women who marry wealthy men have at the back of their mind. Wealthy Successful men are not like regular men. Becoming wealthy takes a level of intelligence, strategy, shrewd, understanding the world in ways most don't and so much more i'm too tired to type out that the average man does not possess. Most women fantasize about marrying a wealthy man but the average woman does not have what it takes to be married to a man like that. I'm happy i got out of my little girl fantasy when i came to this realization at the age of 25. Another woman commented on her successful husband having high expectations of her. DUH! Marrying a wealthy man or wealthy women (lesbians for example) comes with a price. A price most people dont want to pay. |
All of the above, I'm sure. Im not the women whose married to the fund manager but i'm happy she has come out and admit this. Regular women need to know what women who marry wealthy people put up with. EVERYTHING in life comes with a price. The question is ... do you have what it takes??? |
This actually seems to be untrue of many men I know in biglaw and even finance, including in my own family. The wife runs the show even when the husband brings in the lionshare of the income. But I’m Jewish as is most of my circle so maybe that’s a cultural thing. The lawyers in particular seem to be quietC introverted intellectual types who wanted to use their brains to make money instead of being, say, a professor. Generally not assholes. Finance guys tend to be the flashier type, and I know some obnoxious husbands but for the most part very committed to their families. |
How on earth did you interpret my comment on wealthy men/husbands being assholes?? Nowhere did I imply their assholes. Just because someone cheats does not mean their an asshole. All I’m saying is when a woman marries a wealthy man she should not be shocked if her husband cheats on her. Emotionally or physically. And of course the wife runs the show— duh. Women who marry wealthy men have to run the show because their husbands working long hours and are always busy making the big bucks. You interpreted my comment completely wrong. You were spot on about them being intellectual. Wealthy men are wealthy because it requires a type of intellectual intelligence. Other then that, you interpreted my comment wrong. |
You can be committed to your family and still cheat. Your comment reflects you’re not that bright… or should I say you don’t strike me as a shrewd crafty woman. Naive af about men. Lol I pity women like you. |
|
I do think the PP makes a good point about how wealthy men often expect a certain type of wife. This is part of why I don't envy most women with wealthy husbands. I would not do well with a man who had expectations that I always look a certain way. And I'm naturally thin, even after kids, and fairly attractive -- I just don't like having to look done or feel like there is pressure on me to look a certain way FOR my husband. Many wealthy men expect their wives to be a visual compliment to them at events and work gatherings. I would not enjoy that pressure. I want the freedom to wear something offbeat or more comfortable as I choose. I wouldn't want the pressure to play the part of the good corporate/BigLaw wife. There might be rich guys who would be okay with that, but I didn't go hunting for one.
Also, many of my friends who are married to wealthy men... their houses are perfect. Their kids go to private and are expected to perform at a high level. A lot of pressure to get into a selective private HS and college. These guys often want bragging rights, whether it's a gorgeous house in the right neighborhood or their child's soccer team winning a championship or their kid getting into Stanford or whatever. I do not live my life that way. I'm an introvert with a strong independent streak. I love and support my husband but I also do my own thing. I want my kids to be happy and I don't even care if they go to college at all as long as they have a plan for themselves and are rational about their life choices. I went to law school but I didn't play that competitive game and opted out of the rat race for more independent, academic work (that is not remotely impressive in cocktail conversation). I kill all our houseplants and I started painting the living room 9 months ago and it's still not done. And my husband is fine with all of that, could not care less. Call it the soft bigotry of low expectations, but I like my middle class lifestyle with my middle class husband. We joke about winning the lottery but really we're pretty happy with our life as it is. |
This comment is so refreshing. Thank you for *GETTING IT*. The point is being married to a wealthy man is not the same as being a married to your regular everyday middle class man. Marrying a wealthy successful man comes with a price. A price most women don't think about. I also, appreciate you saying you like your middle class lifestyle with your middle class husband. Most woman want that tbh... While most women fantasize about marrying a wealthy man. I do think most woman prefer a middle class man and lifestyle. |
Get a job OP. Work in Big Law or IB. Then you’ll be too busy to feel jealous. |
That’s exactly what this is PP. Low expectations. I would hate this. |
Maybe I just grew up differently, but my biglaw father did not have unrealistic expectations. My parents both put academic pressure on us but other than that it wasn’t like either of them were demanding perfection, and our house was incredibly modest for what they could have afforded. my best friends dad growing up dad was an extremely successful Wall Street type, and her parents didn’t seem like this either. The pressure was all academic because wr had smart parents who expected the same of their kids particularly for all the opportunity we had. I wouldn’t tell yourself that you couldn’t handle being in an upper class marriage, because they are as diverse in dynamic as any other income level. |
|
Lol I assure you I’m fairly intelligent. Maybe you’re just a bitter, cynical mean spirited loser who feels bad about their life and needs to console themselves by telling yourself that there must be a catch to marrying someone wealthy or successful. Shrug. You do you. |