How to not be jealous of women who married rich?

[Anonymous]

I “married rich” (we don’t count as DCUM rich but DH does well as a big law partner) and I just don’t think my life is anything to envy.

1. My husbands job is my accomplishment so I don’t derive pride from it. I am proud of the things I do as a mom and how I’ve overcome a tough childhood and how I’ve taken care of myself despite having a terrible chronic illness. But my husbands job has nothing to do with me.

2. as I said above, I have issues that money can’t fix. I wouldn’t wish my illness on anybody except for maybe a true sociopath.

3. My husband is great but the way he is anxious about having enough money can be stressful for me. I wish he would get a different job because the poor guy is stressed a lot, but having a lower-paying job would stress him out even more.

Yes, it’s nice to not have to stress about orthodontia and be able to send the kids to the summer camps they want to go to. I won’t lie and say I don’t appreciate the money. But it’s not like I live this fairy tale existence.

[Anonymous]

Lots of estrangements in wealthy families. Rigid expectations and people who can't meet them can lead to a lot of misery and discord. Lots of depression among spouses of the wealthy. my dad built a lot of wealth and my mom is one of the most miserable people I know. She also wants to make sure she spends every bit she can and gives away the rest. It doesn't bring her joy though, but she can't stand the thought of anyone getting money because everything is about money to her.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like the women in all those anecdotes married horrible men. But the thing is both poor and rich guys can be horrible and abusive. Same as ugly guys cheat too. Just don’t marry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like the women in all those anecdotes married horrible men. But the thing is both poor and rich guys can be horrible and abusive. Same as ugly guys cheat too. Just don’t marry.

I would advise a woman without a sizable inheritance to get a profession, even if you think you will be a stay at home mom.
Once you have that and your own means to make a living you will have the freedom to love a poor man
You will have the freedom to choose. Never give up your freedom to choose

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be happy for your own advantages in life and the things you enjoy about your spouse. Sure, I wish my spouse earned more but he probably wishes I looked like a Victoria’s Secret model (I don’t.)

Also, my dad is a retired big law partner and the grueling number of hours he worked put an enormous strain on my parents marriage. Though we had a nice life and a loving home, it was a sad relationship dynamic to be around growing up, and my dad missed a lot of his kids milestones working at a job he loathed.

Haha, you don’t care if your spouse makes much because YOU come from a rich family. How can you miss that? I’ll bet you had DP help, fully funded education, and don’t have to worry about paying for your parents elder care?

DP but I am much more envious of people who come from wealthy families than I am of women who marry rich guys. Graduating from school without debt is such a gift. Plus wealthy families can also often help with down payments, or they pay for nice travel, or they'll pay for your kids childcare. Hell, I'm jealous of people who have parents who provide free childcare (and are young and interested in doing so).

I'd rather have a wealthy and supportive family than a high earning spouse. With a wealthy family, you have support and protection even if you never marry at all.

Plenty of abusive behavior in wealthy families too and lots of using money to try to control and create dependence. Also, with physical and sexual abuse CPS can turn a blind eye for fear of endless lawsuits. You'd be surprised how warped and disturbed wealthy families can be, Armmie Hammmers family is the extreme, but there are plenty of disturbing tales.

Abusive families come from all socioeconomic backgrounds. This whole narrative of don’t be jealous because their lives aren’t as great as you think is silly. Their relationships have the same amount of challenge and conflict as anyone else, but insecurity over expenses isn’t the cause of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be happy for your own advantages in life and the things you enjoy about your spouse. Sure, I wish my spouse earned more but he probably wishes I looked like a Victoria’s Secret model (I don’t.)

Also, my dad is a retired big law partner and the grueling number of hours he worked put an enormous strain on my parents marriage. Though we had a nice life and a loving home, it was a sad relationship dynamic to be around growing up, and my dad missed a lot of his kids milestones working at a job he loathed.

Haha, you don’t care if your spouse makes much because YOU come from a rich family. How can you miss that? I’ll bet you had DP help, fully funded education, and don’t have to worry about paying for your parents elder care?

DP but I am much more envious of people who come from wealthy families than I am of women who marry rich guys. Graduating from school without debt is such a gift. Plus wealthy families can also often help with down payments, or they pay for nice travel, or they'll pay for your kids childcare. Hell, I'm jealous of people who have parents who provide free childcare (and are young and interested in doing so).

I'd rather have a wealthy and supportive family than a high earning spouse. With a wealthy family, you have support and protection even if you never marry at all.

Plenty of abusive behavior in wealthy families too and lots of using money to try to control and create dependence. Also, with physical and sexual abuse CPS can turn a blind eye for fear of endless lawsuits. You'd be surprised how warped and disturbed wealthy families can be, Armmie Hammmers family is the extreme, but there are plenty of disturbing tales.

Abusive families come from all socioeconomic backgrounds. This whole narrative of don’t be jealous because their lives aren’t as great as you think is silly. Their relationships have the same amount of challenge and conflict as anyone else, but insecurity over expenses isn’t the cause of them.

I would not so blatantly say that
If you want to live your life being jealous, then by all means do so

I don't see much to envy in lives of others. I am not rich or wealthy and never will be

[Anonymous]

None of my friends married rich guys but many did marry guys who became rich over time, including me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:None of my friends married rich guys but many did marry guys who became rich over time, including me.

So youre married to a rich guy. Duh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:None of my friends married rich guys but many did marry guys who became rich over time, including me.

So youre married to a rich guy. Duh.

Sounds like the man became wealthy and successful because of the wife

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We all work hard but I notice that marrying the right guy really gives a woman a huge leg up. Most of us are working in jobs that pay us anywhere from 80k - 150k and then one of us marries a guy in Big Law or IB and her life is totally different.

Every time this happens, I feel a pang. Like, she jumped the line simply because a rich guy wanted to marry her?

How do I get over the envy and jealousy?

She has to sleep with that guy every night until one of them dies.
And pretend that his stories are interesting, his jokes funny.

How much would you sell your life for?