Friends family made cruel remarks about 4.5 yr old wearing pull-ups at night

[Anonymous]

lmao

I can see why your son is still in pull-ups if you made a thread about this.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry your son was made to feel uncomfortable. I agree the daughter’s comments were rude, whether cruel or thoughtless. I wish the incident hadn’t occurred, but you can take away from it an important lesson. While wearing pullups is nothing to be ashamed of, if is private. While it is normal that some will take longer to sleep through the night without issues, the majority have put those issues behind them and will not understand (or may have similar issues of their own that they’re sensitive about). Tactless as the daughter was, her remarks pale in comparison to the kind of cruelty his peers may dish out if they discover his issues. You need to prepare your son by putting his situation in perspective, planning ahead of time how to be discreet, and how he can respond if the situation comes up again.

I fully sympathize OP. I had a six-year old kindergartner who was still having an occasional daytime accident, which is a worse situation than your son’s pull-ups. We don’t ever want out kids to be hurt. However, rather than expecting the wotld to be kind and blaming them when they’re not, we have to teach our kids to see the world realistically- some will be kind, some will be cruel, most will be in the middle (I suspect the daughter in your story fell in the middle category), and how to successfully navigate that world.

I wish you and your son well and hope you don’t give up on your friends. I know I’ve occasionally made comments that I regret and am still kicking myself over, but with no malicious intent.

[Anonymous]

Oh wow. Sitting here laughing a bit. A lot of the posters here would probably be SHOCKED at the state of my house around bedtime.

If it's considered taboo for a 4 year old to be running around in just a pull-up before bed, then WOW am I in trouble.

I have 4 boys, ages 3 to 11, middle two are twins, and they all insist on pretty much wearing just their underwear in the evenings.

The three youngest still wear pull-ups or diapers at night, and yes--*gasp*--I realize this is scandalous! But yes, they do typically wear JUST a diaper around family and even friends.

If we're close enough friends to be staying the night with you, then we're close enough that I don't care if you see my kids in underwear/diapers etc.

If another kid gave any of my boys a hard time about wearing a pull-up for bedtime, I can almost guarantee they'd not care, at ALL, and brush it off like it was nothing.

You're overreacting OP, this isn't a big deal if your kid isn't bothered.

[Anonymous]

Doesn't matter how it goes on, it's a diaper. Does your child feel bad or is it just you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP -- pull-ups are diapers. Just like Depends are also diapers.

There's no shame in wearing either unless you make it a shame. If your child feels bad about what he heard, just explain that it's not a big deal, that bodies mature at different times, and he's got nothing to worry about.

+1. My niece wore pull-ups at night until she was 9 years old. She didn't worry about it because she knew it was genetic in her family.

Your family has a bed-wetting gene?

https://www.news-medical.net/news/20210119/Study-finds-genetic-variants-that-increase-the-risk-of-bedwetting.aspx

Researchers have long known that nighttime incontinence is a highly heritable condition. Children who wet the bed at night often have siblings or parents who either suffer from or have suffered from the same condition.

[Anonymous]

My son wet the bed until he was almost 7. If another child had said those things to us, no one would have taken offense. I would have taken this opportunity to educate them on how developmentally, it's still normal for some children, boys particularly, to not be control of their bladder until they're older.

I think you and your son are overly sensitive about this. I'm not even going to comment on the pull-up vs diaper - they have the same function, OP! No one cares!

So yes. Dial back the offense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If these comments were made by a child around the same age as your 4.5 year old, then it was only inadvertently rude because kids that age don’t really get that everyone doesn’t have the same experience. If the comments were made by an 8th grader, then yes, rude as hell to ask a little kid if he pees his pants. Did you stick up for him in the moment? Have a talk with him to reassure him that he’s not a baby wearing diapers?

Haven’t read the whole thread, but agree the comments are totally rude. As you get older you bear more responsibility for what you say. I’m not sure how you’d address it with the mom without making it awkward, but it was rude. Sorry that happened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Weird that PP’s are fixating on a preschooler wearing a pull-up around close friends. Ignore them PP.

A 12 or 13 confronting a 4 year old like that for wearing a diaper is rude and unkind. How strange. It’s hard to even imagine unless she’s autistic or intellectually disabled and thus genuinely confused/curious why a child who isn’t a baby would wear a diaper, and doesn’t understand why it’s impolite to point out.

Why? Elder siblings make fun of younger siblings all the time. Its probably a joke in her middle school to differentiate themselves from 'babies'. However OP expecting someone else's kid to not mention their child running around in a pull-up when they're probably not used to the sight is a bit much.

What! It’s a bit much to expect a teenager to have manners and not speak rudely about another person, let alone a child?

[Anonymous]

I kind of feel like ninety-nine percent of the people commenting here that the OP needs to chill out over this would absolutely be the ones to freak out if the situation was reversed, and this happened to their kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP -- pull-ups are diapers. Just like Depends are also diapers.

There's no shame in wearing either unless you make it a shame. If your child feels bad about what he heard, just explain that it's not a big deal, that bodies mature at different times, and he's got nothing to worry about.

+1. My niece wore pull-ups at night until she was 9 years old. She didn't worry about it because she knew it was genetic in her family.

Your family has a bed-wetting gene?

NP my brothers and my sons wet at night until around 9, one of them until puberty. Definitely runs in families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I kind of feel like ninety-nine percent of the people commenting here that the OP needs to chill out over this would absolutely be the ones to freak out if the situation was reversed, and this happened to their kid.

Sorry to disappoint, but truly, it’s not a big deal. Now you’re going to tell us we should have made it into a big deal. Still nope. We’re not raising snowflakes.

[Anonymous]

I am wondering if the OP of this thread is the "Vegetrian SIL upset by Bacon Lasagna" poster?

[Anonymous]

What a bunch of a-holes on this thread. Some kids can't make it through the night at that age. My DD wore a pull up/good nites at bed until she was almost 7 because she's a deep sleeper and was physically unable to hold her pee while sleeping. We tried everything and eventually she grew out of it. Her younger sibling was night trained a full year before she was able to do it.

ANYWAY. I would tell the mom that this happened. Say it's not a big deal, but you just wanted her to know because it upset your son and you hope that her daughter won't bring it up. again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Weird that PP’s are fixating on a preschooler wearing a pull-up around close friends. Ignore them PP.

A 12 or 13 confronting a 4 year old like that for wearing a diaper is rude and unkind. How strange. It’s hard to even imagine unless she’s autistic or intellectually disabled and thus genuinely confused/curious why a child who isn’t a baby would wear a diaper, and doesn’t understand why it’s impolite to point out.

Yes, this is really odd. My tween and teen wouldn't know enough about what 4 year olds wear to know this was unusual and most certainly would not care even if they did. To go so far as to mock the 4 yo is even less likely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh wow. Sitting here laughing a bit. A lot of the posters here would probably be SHOCKED at the state of my house around bedtime.

If it's considered taboo for a 4 year old to be running around in just a pull-up before bed, then WOW am I in trouble.

I have 4 boys, ages 3 to 11, middle two are twins, and they all insist on pretty much wearing just their underwear in the evenings.

The three youngest still wear pull-ups or diapers at night, and yes--*gasp*--I realize this is scandalous! But yes, they do typically wear JUST a diaper around family and even friends.

If we're close enough friends to be staying the night with you, then we're close enough that I don't care if you see my kids in underwear/diapers etc.

If another kid gave any of my boys a hard time about wearing a pull-up for bedtime, I can almost guarantee they'd not care, at ALL, and brush it off like it was nothing.

You're overreacting OP, this isn't a big deal if your kid isn't bothered.

One of the most sensible comments on this thread.