Friends family made cruel remarks about 4.5 yr old wearing pull-ups at night

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What exactly is the difference between pull ups and diapers?

The difference is a psychological one. Parents put diapers on their kids. But kids pull up their pull-ups themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What exactly is the difference between pull ups and diapers?

The difference is a psychological one. Parents put diapers on their kids. But kids pull up their pull-ups themselves.

So why don't we hear about "adult pull-ups?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Y'all are nuts. My kid was not fully potty-trained at almost-4. But it was summer and it was hot as hell and we wanted to take him to the splash park. We worried about accidents in that specific settings for obvious reasons, so we'd put him in a swim diaper at the splash park, just so we didn't have to spend the entire time we were there stressing out about it. It was obvious he was wearing a swim diaper (disposable because he didn't even fit the reusable kind at that age). I'm sure people judged because that's what people do, but no one person, child or adult, ever said a word and DS had a great time and finished potty training not long after. People were friendly, kids still played with him, etc. Kids that age really don't care, and they've generally seen it all because there is such a broad range of potty training times, from as young as 18 mo to as old as 4 or 5 in a small number of kids. They don't judge unless someone teaches them to. Don't teach your kids to judge something like that! You are teaching them a cruel behavior. And also one day your kid will be the one late to a milestone and you will be grateful for the grace of others.

So reading these replies about how it is cruel to let a kid this age run around his own damn house in a pull-up he wears to bed? What on earth? Like I said: y'all are nuts. MYOB and better hope others don't treat you as harsh as you treat them.

Why wouldn't you put bathing suit or shorts over the diaper? Thet would be the normal thing to do. No child weats just a diaper at our pool

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What exactly is the difference between pull ups and diapers?

The difference is a psychological one. Parents put diapers on their kids. But kids pull up their pull-ups themselves.

So why don't we hear about "adult pull-ups?"

Again, the difference is purely psychological. Adult diapers are called depends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Haven't read through all of this thread, but:

As a mother to a 7, almost 8 year old that still wears Goodnites at night, every night...would just like to give a big middle finger, to everyone on here that is saying that a 5 year old kid is "too old" to be wearing a diaper at night.

My DS is way older than the OP's, and would like nothing more than to be done with having accidents at night. A lot of incredibly judgemental, pointlessly cruel people on here.

OP, if it makes your LO feel any better, you can tell him that and almost 8 year old said that he's awesome, and don't worry about it, he wears pull-ups too.

Okay, understood. Would you have your 8 year old walk around in his goodnights in front of your friends?

Or would you have him wear pajama bottoms, shorts, something?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What exactly is the difference between pull ups and diapers?

The difference is a psychological one. Parents put diapers on their kids. But kids pull up their pull-ups themselves.

So why don't we hear about "adult pull-ups?"

Again, the difference is purely psychological. Adult diapers are called depends.

Right. "Depends" is the brand name, but note you didn't refer to them as "adult pull-ups" -- you used "adult diapers," which is what people use when they aren't using the brand name.

The psychological difference is important. If it matters a lot to someone to call them one thing rather than another, then by all means they should do that. And nobody should be shamed or mocked.

But that doesn't change what they are, and when a kid uses a word that is technically correct but might not be as sensitive as possible to prevent other people from having their feelings hurt, they very might not be deliberately cruel. They might just be seeing what they know are diapers, and calling them diapers.

They can be taught to use a different word out of politeness, but that doesn't make them mean. It just hasn't been explained yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What exactly is the difference between pull ups and diapers?

The difference is a psychological one. Parents put diapers on their kids. But kids pull up their pull-ups themselves.

So why don't we hear about "adult pull-ups?"

Again, the difference is purely psychological. Adult diapers are called depends.

Right. "Depends" is the brand name, but note you didn't refer to them as "adult pull-ups" -- you used "adult diapers," which is what people use when they aren't using the brand name.

The psychological difference is important. If it matters a lot to someone to call them one thing rather than another, then by all means they should do that. And nobody should be shamed or mocked.

But that doesn't change what they are, and when a kid uses a word that is technically correct but might not be as sensitive as possible to prevent other people from having their feelings hurt, they very might not be deliberately cruel. They might just be seeing what they know are diapers, and calling them diapers.

They can be taught to use a different word out of politeness, but that doesn't make them mean. It just hasn't been explained yet.

Actually, Pull-Ups is a brand name, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is your five year old in a diaper? A pull up is a diaper.

I am surprised there are so many ignorant people out there who don't realize that it's a hormonal change that happens in childhood that makes you produce less urine overnight (hence not peeing all night long like you pee all day long). You can't "train" your way into that development. It just happens. For many kids, at age 2 or 3. For some kids, not until age 9. Bedwetting is SO normal, especially in boys. And there is absolutely a genetic component. It's not a behavioral issue. It's like making fun of a kid for using an inhaler and asking why he can't just breathe normally without it like everyone else. I swear, some adults are worse than kids.

Is there a hormonal or genetic reason why he can’t wear pants or shorts?

It’s flat out weird to have kids walking around in their underwear (and especially their diapers!) in front of other people.

I think it's flat out weird that you think it's weird. I would never consider travelling with another family if they weren't ok with some preschooler nudity. Are you serious? Half the kids at the playground (in the city!) in the summer are running around in their underwear under the sprinklers! There are some serious prudes out there.

I’m not a prude. I’m also not the one starting this thread complaining about the fallout of my own failure to respect my son’s privacy. Listen you can try to blame every other kid you meet for being a kid and being curious when they see something outside of the norm. You can keep setting your son up to be embarrassed. You can insist that societal norms of wearing pants shouldn’t apply to kids but the only one who will suffer is your kid.

If you think pants are optional why don’t you go outside in your underwear? Or better yet, wear some depends. See how other people respond to that.

Wow, does anyone on this board actually have an infant/toddler/preschooler? The number of people who think it's scandalous for a kid to be seen in a pull-up at bedtime...you people are nuts

Sigh. Okay keep setting up your kid to be embarrassed and teased.

Note nobody has a problem with an infant in a diaper. A 4 year old is not an infant. No matter how much you want to pretend otherwise.

I'm so glad I have your permission to put my infant in a diaper! Hopefully you aren't scandalized if he wears a onesie over it with *gasp* no pants

I find that look somewhat trashy, as if you don’t have the time or money to put on pants, but you do you.

I think babies in onesies only adorable. It’s the one time on your life you don’t have to wear pants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do not think it is strange for a kid to run around in diapers. What is odd is the age of the child in diapers. Particularly for a middle schooler. Diapers are associated with babies so she was probably confused as to why an almost kindergartner was in diapers. And yes, pull-ups are diapers with a "nicer" name. A MS has likely never had to care for a kid in diapers, or doesn't remember the youngest siblings' potty habits, so what would you expect. This is far from cruel or malicious. I think OP is projecting her own insecurities in having her 5 yr old in diapers at night.

Yes, it is a tad old to be in night time diapers but I'm sure tons of parents in the US still have their K, 1st, 2nd graders in diapers. I mean, they make those pull ups for up to 50 lbs. Come on, parents!

The bold is exactly it
The 14 year old is not an adult.
She’s also a child.

OP is a piece of work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What exactly is the difference between pull ups and diapers?

The difference is a psychological one. Parents put diapers on their kids. But kids pull up their pull-ups themselves.

So why don't we hear about "adult pull-ups?"

Again, the difference is purely psychological. Adult diapers are called depends.

Right. "Depends" is the brand name, but note you didn't refer to them as "adult pull-ups" -- you used "adult diapers," which is what people use when they aren't using the brand name.

The psychological difference is important. If it matters a lot to someone to call them one thing rather than another, then by all means they should do that. And nobody should be shamed or mocked.

But that doesn't change what they are, and when a kid uses a word that is technically correct but might not be as sensitive as possible to prevent other people from having their feelings hurt, they very might not be deliberately cruel. They might just be seeing what they know are diapers, and calling them diapers.

They can be taught to use a different word out of politeness, but that doesn't make them mean. It just hasn't been explained yet.

Actually, Pull-Ups is a brand name, too.

So we can call them "diapers you can pull up yourself" and be done with it.

[Anonymous]

So what

[Anonymous]

A teenager was snarky to a little kid. Reassure your own kid and make it clear it’s not a big deal. If it happens again, YOU say something to the teenager directly. You can keep it pleasant and matter-of-fact, but you can also hint that older kids have a choice too lift up little kids and be a hero to them rather than knock them down.

[Anonymous]

Pullups are diapers.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s rude and coworker should’ve told her daughter that it was rude. I don’t think it’s my job or my kids’ job to police other kids wearing diapers or pull ups. You can never know what the family is handling or to what extent the kid is capable of being potty trained, especially with night training. It’s rude to comment on this or offer unsolicited advice.

[Anonymous]

Next time in group settings have him wear pajama pants over the pullups.