Friends family made cruel remarks about 4.5 yr old wearing pull-ups at night

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is your five year old in a diaper? A pull up is a diaper.

I am surprised there are so many ignorant people out there who don't realize that it's a hormonal change that happens in childhood that makes you produce less urine overnight (hence not peeing all night long like you pee all day long). You can't "train" your way into that development. It just happens. For many kids, at age 2 or 3. For some kids, not until age 9. Bedwetting is SO normal, especially in boys. And there is absolutely a genetic component. It's not a behavioral issue. It's like making fun of a kid for using an inhaler and asking why he can't just breathe normally without it like everyone else. I swear, some adults are worse than kids.

Is there a hormonal or genetic reason why he can’t wear pants or shorts?

It’s flat out weird to have kids walking around in their underwear (and especially their diapers!) in front of other people.

I think it's flat out weird that you think it's weird. I would never consider travelling with another family if they weren't ok with some preschooler nudity. Are you serious? Half the kids at the playground (in the city!) in the summer are running around in their underwear under the sprinklers! There are some serious prudes out there.

I’m not a prude. I’m also not the one starting this thread complaining about the fallout of my own failure to respect my son’s privacy. Listen you can try to blame every other kid you meet for being a kid and being curious when they see something outside of the norm. You can keep setting your son up to be embarrassed. You can insist that societal norms of wearing pants shouldn’t apply to kids but the only one who will suffer is your kid.

If you think pants are optional why don’t you go outside in your underwear? Or better yet, wear some depends. See how other people respond to that.

Wow, does anyone on this board actually have an infant/toddler/preschooler? The number of people who think it's scandalous for a kid to be seen in a pull-up at bedtime...you people are nuts

Sigh. Okay keep setting up your kid to be embarrassed and teased.

Note nobody has a problem with an infant in a diaper. A 4 year old is not an infant. No matter how much you want to pretend otherwise.

I'm so glad I have your permission to put my infant in a diaper! Hopefully you aren't scandalized if he wears a onesie over it with *gasp* no pants

I find that look somewhat trashy, as if you don’t have the time or money to put on pants, but you do you.

I think babies in onesies only adorable. It’s the one time on your life you don’t have to wear pants.

+1000. Now babies in onesies are trashy? get out of here seriously

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, unless members of this family continue to make shaming comments to your son's face, I'd let it go. It sounds like the other family's kids just aren't used to seeing kids in nighttime pull-ups, and the daughter didn't know any better. You also don't know if the mom made some comments to her daughter in private after hearing this -- that's what I would have done.

I came from a family where no one wore night-time pull-ups, so I never even knew it was a thing until I married my DH and realized it was a thing in his family. I called them diapers myself, initially. The bottom line is that if you love the family, you probably know that they are generally well-intentioned. Chalk it up to a learning experience for them, and just move on.

+1 I would not make an issue unless other comments continue.

Also pullups are just a type of diaper. You have to accept that.

[Anonymous]

Dear OP,

It doesn’t sound like the child was being mean. It could be shocking to some to see a big kid in pulls up. And just so you know Pull ups and diapers are the same thing.

[Anonymous]

Y'all this thread is 2 years old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So we have a family (one of my coworkers) that we're very close to, our kids are the same age just about...and we've gone through the pandemic operating as more of a single family-unit, supporting each other as needed, etc. We almost think of them as more of an extended family these days. The only thing we haven't done, until recently--is overnight stays at each others houses, overnight trips, etc. We recently went on a trip together and rented a cabin, the kids loved it.

DS has been potty trained for ages now, but still wears pull-ups at night. It's never been made a big deal at our home, so DS ended up running around the cabin in his pull-up a bit before bed.

Anyways, my friends' oldest DD said something to DS, along the lines of "aren't you too old to be wearing diapers?". She even called them diapers, not pull-ups, right to DS's face. Later on, she asked DS if he "pees his pants". Her mom didn't say a word on hearing her daughter make these comments.

DS is normally a very confident, happy kid, but was clearly very stunned and upset to be called out like this in a room around so many people that we've grown to trust over the past few years. I haven't said anything to her mom (my friend) about this directly just yet, but I'm wondering how everyone here would suggest dealing with this? I realize we probably shouldn't have let DS roam around in just a pull-up, but...I honestly didn't think it would be that big of a deal at the time, and especially didn't think such a mean-spirited comment would be made on it.

WWYD? We love this family, but kind of dazed that this happened.

If he still needs a pull up at his age then he is not toilet trained but you already know this and you also know, or should know, that there will be comments. Diapers or pullups, it's still the fact that's 4.5 year old is not toilet trained.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Y'all this thread is 2 years old.

The kid is almost 7 and probably still in pull-ups at night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s out of the “normal” range yo wear pull-ups at this age.

You should have told the mom and she could have prepped her D to not say anything.

That’s what parents did when we had sleep overs and the kids needed pull-ups

Is it? Mine is the same age and wears them and so do a bunch of his peers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What exactly is the difference between pull ups and diapers?

Pull-ups are a trademarked name and as far as I know, they are like swim diapers in that they don’t have the Velcro tabs. They are diapers. It’s like calling tissues “kleenex” or bandages “bandaids”. I think people think that calling them pull-ups is less babyish than calling them diapers, but they are absorbant wearable garments for incontinent people, aka, diapers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Y'all this thread is 2 years old.

I hope the kid is potty trained by now

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is your five year old in a diaper? A pull up is a diaper.

I am surprised there are so many ignorant people out there who don't realize that it's a hormonal change that happens in childhood that makes you produce less urine overnight (hence not peeing all night long like you pee all day long). You can't "train" your way into that development. It just happens. For many kids, at age 2 or 3. For some kids, not until age 9. Bedwetting is SO normal, especially in boys. And there is absolutely a genetic component. It's not a behavioral issue. It's like making fun of a kid for using an inhaler and asking why he can't just breathe normally without it like everyone else. I swear, some adults are worse than kids.

Agree.

[Anonymous]

Your kid is in a diaper. And also is not potty trained. Sounds like you don’t want to hear the truth.

[Anonymous]

To all the people insisting that a middle school girl should know that plenty of kids need nighttime diapers until the age of 10 or beyond - categorically no. Just as nighttime incontinence runs in some families, it doesn’t run in other families. I had never seen a non disabled kid in nighttime diapers past the age of 3 until I was an adult, despite having grown up with 22 cousins and a myriad of second cousins. Yes, the middle schooler could have stopped to ask her parent before commenting, but most middle schoolers speak without thinking.

[Anonymous]

The girl was a bully, she 13 so there will be a kid in her class that still has accidents at night. I stopped when I was 8. I remember my brothers had issues staying dry at night til they were 13 or so. Is common, my daughter is 6 and still wears pull-ups, she has accidents every night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To all the people insisting that a middle school girl should know that plenty of kids need nighttime diapers until the age of 10 or beyond - categorically no. Just as nighttime incontinence runs in some families, it doesn’t run in other families. I had never seen a non disabled kid in nighttime diapers past the age of 3 until I was an adult, despite having grown up with 22 cousins and a myriad of second cousins. Yes, the middle schooler could have stopped to ask her parent before commenting, but most middle schoolers speak without thinking.

Did you ever have sleepovers? It most likely, you didn't notice most kids will not be running around with just a pull-up. They will put it on just before bed and wear an overside t-shirt to make not noticeable. I remember my brother doing that. My daughter is 6, and they are only noticeable if you if it's quite or if you look down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dear OP,

It doesn’t sound like the child was being mean. It could be shocking to some to see a big kid in pulls up. And just so you know Pull ups and diapers are the same thing.

This is thread is so old OP is probably in diapers.