Friends family made cruel remarks about 4.5 yr old wearing pull-ups at night

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So we have a family (one of my coworkers) that we're very close to, our kids are the same age just about...and we've gone through the pandemic operating as more of a single family-unit, supporting each other as needed, etc. We almost think of them as more of an extended family these days. The only thing we haven't done, until recently--is overnight stays at each others houses, overnight trips, etc. We recently went on a trip together and rented a cabin, the kids loved it.

DS has been potty trained for ages now, but still wears pull-ups at night. It's never been made a big deal at our home, so DS ended up running around the cabin in his pull-up a bit before bed.

Anyways, my friends' oldest DD said something to DS, along the lines of "aren't you too old to be wearing diapers?". She even called them diapers, not pull-ups, right to DS's face. Later on, she asked DS if he "pees his pants". Her mom didn't say a word on hearing her daughter make these comments.

DS is normally a very confident, happy kid, but was clearly very stunned and upset to be called out like this in a room around so many people that we've grown to trust over the past few years. I haven't said anything to her mom (my friend) about this directly just yet, but I'm wondering how everyone here would suggest dealing with this? I realize we probably shouldn't have let DS roam around in just a pull-up, but...I honestly didn't think it would be that big of a deal at the time, and especially didn't think such a mean-spirited comment would be made on it.

WWYD? We love this family, but kind of dazed that this happened.

Every kid he knows will make fun of him wearing pull ups and they are diapers that can be pulled nip. This is nothing more than unbelievable lazy and incompetent parenting. Shame on you!

[Anonymous]

1. The child was rude
2. Put clothes on your kid
3. A 4 year old in pull ups at night is perfectly normal. One of mine was in pull ups at night until she was 6.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So we have a family (one of my coworkers) that we're very close to, our kids are the same age just about...and we've gone through the pandemic operating as more of a single family-unit, supporting each other as needed, etc. We almost think of them as more of an extended family these days. The only thing we haven't done, until recently--is overnight stays at each others houses, overnight trips, etc. We recently went on a trip together and rented a cabin, the kids loved it.

DS has been potty trained for ages now, but still wears pull-ups at night. It's never been made a big deal at our home, so DS ended up running around the cabin in his pull-up a bit before bed.

Anyways, my friends' oldest DD said something to DS, along the lines of "aren't you too old to be wearing diapers?". She even called them diapers, not pull-ups, right to DS's face. Later on, she asked DS if he "pees his pants". Her mom didn't say a word on hearing her daughter make these comments.

DS is normally a very confident, happy kid, but was clearly very stunned and upset to be called out like this in a room around so many people that we've grown to trust over the past few years. I haven't said anything to her mom (my friend) about this directly just yet, but I'm wondering how everyone here would suggest dealing with this? I realize we probably shouldn't have let DS roam around in just a pull-up, but...I honestly didn't think it would be that big of a deal at the time, and especially didn't think such a mean-spirited comment would be made on it.

WWYD? We love this family, but kind of dazed that this happened.

Every kid he knows will make fun of him wearing pull ups and they are diapers that can be pulled nip. This is nothing more than unbelievable lazy and incompetent parenting. Shame on you!

You are either a troll or a complete idiot (or perhaps both). Lots of kids are very heavy sleepers or do not have the hormones they need to hold their urine all night long and that is totally fine. My older child was potty trained at 3 but was (still is) a very deep sleeper and could not wake up to pee. We did everything - withheld fluids after dinner, did a "dream pee", etc., but it took her a few years before she could hold it all night long or wake herself up to pee. We talked to her doctor about who said that's very common.

So, really, PP, SUCK IT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So we have a family (one of my coworkers) that we're very close to, our kids are the same age just about...and we've gone through the pandemic operating as more of a single family-unit, supporting each other as needed, etc. We almost think of them as more of an extended family these days. The only thing we haven't done, until recently--is overnight stays at each others houses, overnight trips, etc. We recently went on a trip together and rented a cabin, the kids loved it.

DS has been potty trained for ages now, but still wears pull-ups at night. It's never been made a big deal at our home, so DS ended up running around the cabin in his pull-up a bit before bed.

Anyways, my friends' oldest DD said something to DS, along the lines of "aren't you too old to be wearing diapers?". She even called them diapers, not pull-ups, right to DS's face. Later on, she asked DS if he "pees his pants". Her mom didn't say a word on hearing her daughter make these comments.

DS is normally a very confident, happy kid, but was clearly very stunned and upset to be called out like this in a room around so many people that we've grown to trust over the past few years. I haven't said anything to her mom (my friend) about this directly just yet, but I'm wondering how everyone here would suggest dealing with this? I realize we probably shouldn't have let DS roam around in just a pull-up, but...I honestly didn't think it would be that big of a deal at the time, and especially didn't think such a mean-spirited comment would be made on it.

WWYD? We love this family, but kind of dazed that this happened.

Every kid he knows will make fun of him wearing pull ups and they are diapers that can be pulled nip. This is nothing more than unbelievable lazy and incompetent parenting. Shame on you!

You are either a troll or a complete idiot (or perhaps both). Lots of kids are very heavy sleepers or do not have the hormones they need to hold their urine all night long and that is totally fine. My older child was potty trained at 3 but was (still is) a very deep sleeper and could not wake up to pee. We did everything - withheld fluids after dinner, did a "dream pee", etc., but it took her a few years before she could hold it all night long or wake herself up to pee. We talked to her doctor about who said that's very common.

So, really, PP, SUCK IT.

Yeah…these posters are either years away from potty training or being deliberately cruel. (Probably the latter.)

Pull ups for nighttime until age 6ish are well within normal; our pediatrician laughed when we asked about night training a 3 year old. “I don’t start to worry until a kid is 7” was the response.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What exactly is the difference between pull ups and diapers?

We never used pull ups in my family at all, but my understanding is that pull ups are meant to give the child a sensation of being wet, to encourage potty training, while not being as absorbent as a traditional diaper.

No they are not. I don’t know who started that rumor but pull ups are just diapers marketed to parents who want to say that their child is in a pull up rather than a diaper. Genuinely.

[Anonymous]

Whatever you call them, night training is completely separate from day and it's normal for a kid to not have it down at 4. My 8yo is still in them and his pediatrician says it's normal. So everyone else can just F off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To all the people insisting that a middle school girl should know that plenty of kids need nighttime diapers until the age of 10 or beyond - categorically no. Just as nighttime incontinence runs in some families, it doesn’t run in other families. I had never seen a non disabled kid in nighttime diapers past the age of 3 until I was an adult, despite having grown up with 22 cousins and a myriad of second cousins. Yes, the middle schooler could have stopped to ask her parent before commenting, but most middle schoolers speak without thinking.

Did you ever have sleepovers? It most likely, you didn't notice most kids will not be running around with just a pull-up. They will put it on just before bed and wear an overside t-shirt to make not noticeable. I remember my brother doing that. My daughter is 6, and they are only noticeable if you if it's quite or if you look down.

I did attend a few sleepovers and had a few at my house starting around age 8/9, and I can’t remember noticing any kids in nighttime diapers. Age six was considered too young for sleepovers in my family, so perhaps that is yet another reason why I never saw any friends in diapers. Also, I’m female, and nocturnal enuresis is much more common in boys than girls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whatever you call them, night training is completely separate from day and it's normal for a kid to not have it down at 4. My 8yo is still in them and his pediatrician says it's normal. So everyone else can just F off.

+1

[Anonymous]

Your kid should not be in Pull Ups that old. You are missing (/have already missed) your window of time where they should learn to hold it at night or get up to go if they need to before morning. You can't just let your kid not learn this. It's really bad for them on a muscular level, and it ruins the brain-body connection associated with this skill. My sister let her kids be in Pull Ups at night til they were like 7. I don't get it. I feel bad for all these kids.

This little girl did you a favor, which was shaming your son in an effective way to hopefully prompt him to want to learn. You have done him no favors. If it were my kid, my very first thought would have been my own shame as a mother for failing my child this way and causing him embarrassment, and a personal vow to teach him ASAP to get him out of Pull Ups. It's interesting that your first pass is to snark on the older child, as if it's her fault.

Weaning off of Pull Ups at night is hard. Potty training is hard. My three year old had many accidents at night, and it sucked. But now he knows to potty before bed and never has accidents. No one likes it, no one said it was easy.

But you have to do it, you're a mother.

[Anonymous]

OP, my heart goes out to you!!! This is so hard.

1. It's not ok for kids to be mean to your kid
2. Every kid develops differently, have compassion on your child. Speak with your pediatrician. Give your kid some grace and troubleshoot together on priorities.

Best of Luck to you!!!