Is it okay to be worried why our son still doesn't have a girlfriend at college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh my god, this poor kid. If he knew his mom started this thread.

+1...but I suspect troll

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:*Slides “So Your Son is Gay” pamphlet across desk to OP*

Don’t rush to judgment, he could also be an incel

[Anonymous]

And if the son in question did happen to have gotten married without you knowing to a local gal, possibly with a few kids of her own from a previous marriage, he may have been working long, long hours, picking up extra shifts in a business or even factory in addition to keeping up with his studies, which is not easy or comforting. All of this could result in him seeming silent or even evasive when in fact he is just getting the job done.

[Anonymous]

He is probably a smart guy and has figured out the dating isn't worth it given the entitlement of the women out there these days. He is better off avoiding them and working on himself and accomplishing his own goals. College age women these days are all on seeking arrangmenets and onlyfans looking for sugar daddies... better for him to avoid that hellscape.

[Anonymous]

with a mother like you its no wonder why he doesn't date or doesn't tell you about it.

[Anonymous]

My parents knew nothing about my dating life until I met my husband when I was 23.

That didn't mean I didn't have one. I just didn't tell them.

[Anonymous]

Wow, butt out. I don't think it's a big deal, plenty of totally happy normal adults I know weren't dating one person seriously at age 21.

[Anonymous]

My brother did not have a girlfriend, until he met his now wife in the later college years. He married young and has been happily married to her for 15 years now. I wouldn't worry at all.

[Anonymous]

Does he like Bette Midler? Broadway show tunes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:late bloomer like my DH. it's OK. He was picky and disinterested. And into sports obsessions

I'm glad it worked out for your presumably 40 or 50-something husband. However, in 2021 becoming a barstool sports manchild incel who gambles his paycheck on iPhone sports betting apps and ignores women so he can obsessively watch sports all weekend is really not "OK". Young adult men refusing to grow up and act their age is an epidemic, which dovetails on why so many women are out-earning men and why so many women in their 20s and 30s are unmarried and childless.

You have serious issues. A 21 year old hasn't told mom about anyone he's dating and all of the sudden that means he's an incel? WTF is wrong with you?

OP - he probably has dated, but not had a serious girlfriend he wanted to tell you about, and that's okay. I didn't have my first serious relationship until my mid-20s. I certainly dated a lot of men before then, but nothing serious enough to tell my parents about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is abnormal to go through four years of university without at least one steady boyfriend or girlfriend. A young man at an Ivy should have no shortage of eager suitors.

You are full of crap.

You believe more than 50% of university students go through four years of college with no boyfriend or girlfriend? You’d be wrong. You think a first boyfriend or girlfriend at age 23 is normal? It is not.

OMG did you even go to college?

[Anonymous]

If a young adult does not have one boyfriend or girlfriend during four years of college, presumable they did not have one in high school either. That is beyond late bloomer -- it is weird and abnormal. Spare me the hookup culture nonsense. We had hookup culture in college in the early 90s, too, but most of us had boyfriends by the end of sophomore year and nearly all of us by junior or senior year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My brother did not have a girlfriend, until he met his now wife in the later college years. He married young and has been happily married to her for 15 years now. I wouldn't worry at all.

Fascinating. Do you consider your brother successful or high status? How'd he meet his wife?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My brother did not have a girlfriend, until he met his now wife in the later college years. He married young and has been happily married to her for 15 years now. I wouldn't worry at all.

Fascinating. Do you consider your brother successful or high status? How'd he meet his wife?

I think there must be a loyalty gene in my family. My brother has always had a very small circle of people who he is very loyal to.. he’s very introverted. I would consider him successful in the sense that he lives in a very expensive city, does what he loves, and doesn’t have financial issues. My grandfathers, father and uncles also married young and all worship their wives (or did as some have passed away). She went to a nearby university and they met through friends.

[Anonymous]

Three of my kids are married, each one to the first guy they brought home to meet me. Relax, OP.