Is it okay to be worried why our son still doesn't have a girlfriend at college?

[Anonymous]

I was a virgin till I was 21 OP. Unlike others here I think you should gently encourage him to try the waters, you don’t want this guy sowing wild oats during a marriage or marrying the first girl he lays.

[Anonymous]

Waiting to date is almost always a good thing. Does he have friends? Is he happy? Those are much more important than a romance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was a virgin till I was 21 OP. Unlike others here I think you should gently encourage him to try the waters, you don’t want this guy sowing wild oats during a marriage or marrying the first girl he lays.

I'm sure what you needed was your mommy telling you to go put the p in the v. He is an adult and mom's time for unsolicited sex advice is WAY PAST.

[Anonymous]

My parents were nosy and overbearing about my love life as a teen/college student, so I didn't introduce them to a single boyfriend until my mid-20s when I was moving in with someone. There were relationships before that my parents had no idea about.

Based on your tone, I suspect that's what is happening here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:late bloomer like my DH. it's OK. He was picky and disinterested. And into sports obsessions

I'm glad it worked out for your presumably 40 or 50-something husband. However, in 2021 becoming a barstool sports manchild incel who gambles his paycheck on iPhone sports betting apps and ignores women so he can obsessively watch sports all weekend is really not "OK". Young adult men refusing to grow up and act their age is an epidemic, which dovetails on why so many women are out-earning men and why so many women in their 20s and 30s are unmarried and childless.

[Anonymous]

He could be asexual or gray — meaning some, but low, interest. There is a lot more acceptance on college campuses now of the “Ace” community.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents were nosy and overbearing about my love life as a teen/college student, so I didn't introduce them to a single boyfriend until my mid-20s when I was moving in with someone. There were relationships before that my parents had no idea about.

Based on your tone, I suspect that's what is happening here.

Yup.

So many red flags in your post OP. Not good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our nearly 21 year old son attends an Ivy League college. He seems social, has a good amount of guy friends. Most of them have girlfriends. And most of his high school classmates also have significant others. Our son takes female dates to some college events, which he shares on social media, but he hasn't had a girlfriend so far at college. I see his peers flying to and from each others' homes on social media. But every college break we ask if he'd like money or a flight to go visit any friends (i.e. a girlfriend's hometown) and he has said no every time. And he has never asked to bring a girl home. I'm sure the first comment will be he could be gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I don't think that's it. Or maybe he's a secret Lothario. No, that's not the case. My worry is he's immature and looks it. I think he comes across as much younger than his age but I don't know how to explain this to him. For example, he's really into that Barstool sports obsession nonsense. He also has my husband's baby face, so he still looks like a high school boy.

Why are you watching your kid & your kids' friends social media accounts? This is weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG. BUTT OUT. Your kid probably doesn't want to tell you if he even had a girlfriend.

From your post - you are anxious, overly involved, gossipy, judgmental, paranoid and shallow.

No wonder he doesn't share.

I would have said it nicer, but in general, I agree with this.

+2

[Anonymous]

I'm sure he wants to tell his parents about all the girls he's sleeping with. Come on. Seriously?

[Anonymous]

I can’t imagine the Ivy girls are great looking. Leave him
Alone.

[Anonymous]

For real, leave him alone! What a busybody.

[Anonymous]

Op - you do not know all activities of your son

And you shouldn't

True, no steady girlfriend. The rest you do not know

[Anonymous]

Porn, video game, and sports gambling addictions have socially stunted a lot of young men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was a virgin till I was 21 OP. Unlike others here I think you should gently encourage him to try the waters, you don’t want this guy sowing wild oats during a marriage or marrying the first girl he lays.

CRINGE. No young adult wants to hear that from their parent.