Spouse will not respect my need for sleep

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you going to sleep early to avoid her?

how old are your kids? do they really need help getting ready for school?

do you always miss the kids bedtime?

how long have you been doing this? did you tell her the same when your kids were ready little ?

have you considered changing your behavior and stop being so rigid? go to bed a half hour later for example?

Why can’t the wife change her behavior and get up earlier if it’s really about “spending more time together,” instead of being a passive aggressive, childish twit?

Maybe she is tired from dealing with the kids all evening ?

Then she should put the kids down and go to bed earlier, not demand OP stay up to entertain her like a child.

DP. This sounds absolutely fair, if OP takes care of all the work getting kids up and out the door in the mornings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you going to sleep early to avoid her?

how old are your kids? do they really need help getting ready for school?

do you always miss the kids bedtime?

how long have you been doing this? did you tell her the same when your kids were ready little ?

have you considered changing your behavior and stop being so rigid? go to bed a half hour later for example?

Why can’t the wife change her behavior and get up earlier if it’s really about “spending more time together,” instead of being a passive aggressive, childish twit?

Because she is probably cleaning dishes and packing lunches before coming up at 1030. Going to bed at 930 likely means you miss all that.

[Anonymous]

If there's something about the current arrangement OP's wife doesn't like why isn't she saying something about it? OP, have you asked her why she continues to be so inconsiderate?

[Anonymous]

You need 89 hours of sleep every night? You sound like a lazy bum!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you going to sleep early to avoid her?

how old are your kids? do they really need help getting ready for school?

do you always miss the kids bedtime?

how long have you been doing this? did you tell her the same when your kids were ready little ?

have you considered changing your behavior and stop being so rigid? go to bed a half hour later for example?

Why can’t the wife change her behavior and get up earlier if it’s really about “spending more time together,” instead of being a passive aggressive, childish twit?

Because she is probably cleaning dishes and packing lunches before coming up at 1030. Going to bed at 930 likely means you miss all that.

Stop your projecting and stick to the facts of the thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. These responses are so interesting. So many people recommending OP compromise by going to bed later, asking if he (I'm assuming) really needs 9 hours of sleep, etc. At the end of the day he's voiced his concerns to his wife and instead of her speaking up she's being a passive aggressive jerk. This could very well be a deal-breaker for me.

Seriously, I know several people that go to bed at 9:30 and are up by 5:30/6. I don’t find 9:30 to be an especially early bedtime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She is upset he is going to bed at 9:30pm instead of investing time as a couple, and this is a passive aggressive way to deal.

You go to sleep at 9:30pm, sleep 8 hrs and get up at 5:30AM? You need to be at work at 8am, and DW actually takes the kids to school. So why not sleep until 7am, spend 1.5 hrs aligning with your DW schedule and then get to work by 8 am? Why are you waking sooo early — do your kids wake up that early?

I also think that's the case too. What she is doing is rude and I would sleep in a separate bedroom but you are sealing your date to be divorced. 930 pm is a really early bedtime for an adult.

[Anonymous]

Date = fate

[Anonymous]

NP. 9:30 is my adult bed time because I like to get up at 5:30 to exercise and get to work for 7.I need more sleep than spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am astounded at anyone who would f*ck with someone else sleep. Utterly astounded.

Signed, DW who needs her sleep and always has and because of that had parents who NEVER had to worry about any sort of curfew

People are made differently.

Then he should be be married to another person who needs so much sleep. 930 is a really early bedtime for an adult. Info now wonder if she is stuck cleaning the house and doing kids activities because he is in bed? What will you do when your kids are tweens?

[Anonymous]

Sleep is very important to me as well. I need 7-8 hrs of interrrupted deep sleep to function properly at my job. I'm a woman and I find it very inconsiderate of your spouse to disrupt your sleep. I would sleep in a guest room, period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you going to sleep early to avoid her?

how old are your kids? do they really need help getting ready for school?

do you always miss the kids bedtime?

how long have you been doing this? did you tell her the same when your kids were ready little ?

have you considered changing your behavior and stop being so rigid? go to bed a half hour later for example?

Why can’t the wife change her behavior and get up earlier if it’s really about “spending more time together,” instead of being a passive aggressive, childish twit?

Because she is probably cleaning dishes and packing lunches before coming up at 1030. Going to bed at 930 likely means you miss all that.

So clean dishes and pack lunches when she gets up earlier in the morning. Excuses, excuses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you going to sleep early to avoid her?

how old are your kids? do they really need help getting ready for school?

do you always miss the kids bedtime?

how long have you been doing this? did you tell her the same when your kids were ready little ?

have you considered changing your behavior and stop being so rigid? go to bed a half hour later for example?

Why can’t the wife change her behavior and get up earlier if it’s really about “spending more time together,” instead of being a passive aggressive, childish twit?

Maybe she is tired from dealing with the kids all evening ?

OMG. If she is tired, SHE SHOULD GO TO SLEEP EARLIER.

[Anonymous]

Team OP. I’m also someone that needs a lot of sleep. Most days I am in bed at 8pm and spend an hour winding down. I wake up at 6 or 7. My husband generally is good about either shifting his schedule to be in bed with me or he will come in quietly and let me sleep. There are times he forgets but I remind him and he is generally good about adjusting his behaviors. This adjustment wasn’t easy… at first there were quite a few arguments, but we respect each other and try our best. It doesn’t sound like your wife is trying which is just so odd. I would give her a book to read about the importance of sleep. And sleep in a separate room. She won’t understand how important it is until she herself gets more sleep and experiences how much better she can feel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you going to sleep early to avoid her?

how old are your kids? do they really need help getting ready for school?

do you always miss the kids bedtime?

how long have you been doing this? did you tell her the same when your kids were ready little ?

have you considered changing your behavior and stop being so rigid? go to bed a half hour later for example?

Why can’t the wife change her behavior and get up earlier if it’s really about “spending more time together,” instead of being a passive aggressive, childish twit?

Maybe she is tired from dealing with the kids all evening ?

OMG. If she is tired, SHE SHOULD GO TO SLEEP EARLIER.

NP. HOW CAN SHE IF THE ONLY OTHER ADULT IN THE HOUSEHOLD IS GETTING HIS BEAUTY SLEEP?