Spouse will not respect my need for sleep

[Anonymous]

Start waking her up at 6:30 every morning and see how she likes it. Otherwise, move to the guest room.

[Anonymous]

i, the later stayer upper, get all my getting ready for bed done before he goes to sleep. then i watch tv on the couch and fall asleep. then i move to the bed when i am done tossing and turning.

[Anonymous]

Op, I'm like your wife, stay up later, sleep later. Dh crashes early , sleeps 10-6, but does breakfast for kids. I sleep midnight to 7. But I don't make noise after 10. I hang out in a different room and don't use my phone in bed, etc

Your wife is beIng inconsiderate. I think you should start banging around at 6 am for the next week.
brushv eeth, shower, opt on light, etc.
yes it's immature but you've tried to talk with spouse.

For all the posters projecting their own issues, just stop. Op has discussed this with spouse. They've had opportunities to voice issues with workload it whatnot. That's not the issue here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you going to sleep early to avoid her?

how old are your kids? do they really need help getting ready for school?

do you always miss the kids bedtime?

how long have you been doing this? did you tell her the same when your kids were ready little ?

have you considered changing your behavior and stop being so rigid? go to bed a half hour later for example?

Why can’t the wife change her behavior and get up earlier if it’s really about “spending more time together,” instead of being a passive aggressive, childish twit?

Maybe she is tired from dealing with the kids all evening ?

OMG. If she is tired, SHE SHOULD GO TO SLEEP EARLIER.

NP. HOW CAN SHE IF THE ONLY OTHER ADULT IN THE HOUSEHOLD IS GETTING HIS BEAUTY SLEEP?

THE BED FITS TWO PEOPLE.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’re wife is probably aggravated by you because she’s taking care of your kids all day and night while you sleep and only work part time.

I can’t only imagine what a nightmare you were when your kids were babies and she was up all night with them so you could get your precious sleep.

Unless you have some sort of chronic illness, no grown man needs 10 hours of sleep at night.

Do your part. Why don’t you let her sleep in?

She's not a man, it's nine hours, not 10, and she does the bulk of the childcare and cooking.

Next uninformed judgment?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you doing housework and/or getting the kids off to school in the morning, so that she can sleep in?

I get them ready and fed. She takes them to school. I have to be at work at 8am. She has to be at work around 9am (her arrival times is more flexible) and their school is located next to her workplace.

But I’m very involved in childcare, probably more so than my wife just because I work less hours.

If you are doing the morning tasks with the kids (other than actual transportation), then I think what you ask for is perfectly reasonable. That would be true regardless of sex or gender.

[Anonymous]

Dude…man up

[Anonymous]

Maybe she wants more sex

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If there's something about the current arrangement OP's wife doesn't like why isn't she saying something about it? OP, have you asked her why she continues to be so inconsiderate?

I don’t use words like inconsiderate with her but I’ve expressed how much it frustrates me. She just seems to dismiss my concerns, which is unlike her in regards to everything else aside from sleep. I do think it annoys her I go to sleep early on weekdays. But on the flip side the nights I push myself and stay up later my work performance suffers and I end up being a major grouch and she’ll make comments about me needing more sleep. I do not know why this has become such a major issue.

what do you mean by “my work performance suffers”? Does it really or does it “suffer” based on some metric you decided ? Are you following one of those productivity gurus by chance? Bc this sounds like the same kind of lines they use. I don’t think it’s wrong but I do think not all advice can be applied equally. I also wonder bc you won’t tell your DW that she is being inconsiderate. Is that bc she might say the same to you?

Maybe your home life and relationship are suffering? Does that matter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Definitely sleep in a separate bedroom. Let her sulk. Who cares. If you can’t get enough sleep, and she knows it she is just being a jerk.

This. For sure.

Perhaps give her a heads up, that you see no other option, to see if she changes her behavior.

But you have a right to the amount of sleep you want, as long as you are pulling your weight.

Is she self-centered in other ways?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dude…man up

? Since when is it "male" to expect a significant other to care about something other than their needs.

Can you leave the toxic masculinity back where it belongs? (In the past).

[Anonymous]

She should get ready for bed while you're still awake.

[Anonymous]

Do any of the kids show signs of ADD/ADHD? If you get at least one kid diagnosed then DW will be more open to being evaluated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She should get ready for bed while you're still awake.

This. You can also bang around as loud as possible early in the am like my dh does when I am too noisy. I take the hint and make sure I get ready for bed while he is still awake, lol.

[Anonymous]

Why do you become an adult and then have to share a room again? I moved out. Need the space, can't stand DH's snoring and TV watching. Life is much better.