I think my husband is secretly applying for jobs outside of DC

[Anonymous]

He's in the last year of his phd and I've been catching him look at assistant professor positions in the middle of no where. Think Ohio , Alabama , Georgia. We have talked about this so many times that it's exhausting. I won't have job opportunities in a small college town and I know I would be miserable. He seems to think if they offer him enough $$$ I will be willing to move. Job prospects for him ( statistician) are projected to be very good in this area. We have a 6 month old. I LOVE love love his daycare provider . She speaks to our baby in dh's home language and I am really happy with her. I also love my job here as well! My husband isn't from the US originally. He hasn't been to these states and I have a feeling he would be happier here. It's very important that my son grows up in a diverse environment . He's mixed ( Indian / white ). I'm not sure what I am asking here. I'm just so frustrated!

[Anonymous]

It's scary to be finishing a degree and know that the next step is to find a job. It's a great unknown. He's probably hedging his bets because no matter what you say having a job SOMEWHERE is better than having no job here.

[Anonymous]

Does he *want* to be a statistician, or does he want to be a tenure-track professor? If he wants to be a professor and he ends up taking a job as a statistician, he will be just as miserable in his job as you would be living in Alabama.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, you need to let him do it and encourage it, especially a new Ph.D.

[Anonymous]

Tenure-track positions are increasingly rare and attract hundreds of applicants. Chances are that he won't be selected anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does he *want* to be a statistician, or does he want to be a tenure-track professor? If he wants to be a professor and he ends up taking a job as a statistician, he will be just as miserable in his job as you would be living in Alabama.

He seems flexible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, you need to let him do it and encourage it, especially a new Ph.D.

And how about my job ?

[Anonymous]

You don't have to move OP. He can't make you.

[Anonymous]

Let him look. Like others have said, he's probably nervous and doesn't want to forego opportunities. IF and that's a big IF, some oppty arises that he is more concrete and he wants to pursue it, go out on a trip with him. Sadly, once he SEES their reality (nothing but white faces; people staring at a "mixed race" couple and their baby) he's more likely to listen to your diversity arguments with an open mind.

[Anonymous]

You sound spoiled and naive if you think this isn't the path to a job after a PH.D. You go were the openings are. I know someone doing an assistant professor job in Australia after doing a post doc in Ga. Jobs in academia are unicorns and you have to chase after them. It usually involves moving far down the ladder from the tier you get your degree. If you aren't available to move then you have to get a job in the private sector. If you can find a job for your husband here maybe you can stay, but I think you need to get on board with looking for jobs in academia with him. You want him to work all those years just for you to throw a hissy fit now?

[Anonymous]

I agree about the academic job market. If he wants tenure track, he will be moving.

Also you are being as narrow-minded as you consider the people in those other places to be. I have lived in several small college towns and if the schools have any science/tech pull they will be very diverse. I have met people from all over the world in towns that you so decry.

A friend of mine lives in Bloomington and they love it. Low CofL, no commute and a great international community. Their super gifted kids are doing amazing and they live in a cute craftsman bungalow. (FWIW they are from diverse ethnic backgrounds as well.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound spoiled and naive if you think this isn't the path to a job after a PH.D. You go were the openings are. I know someone doing an assistant professor job in Australia after doing a post doc in Ga. Jobs in academia are unicorns and you have to chase after them. It usually involves moving far down the ladder from the tier you get your degree. If you aren't available to move then you have to get a job in the private sector. If you can find a job for your husband here maybe you can stay, but I think you need to get on board with looking for jobs in academia with him. You want him to work all those years just for you to throw a hissy fit now?[/quote

I'm spoiled because I want to stay here and be employed ? How about all the years I studied and worked for my career ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree about the academic job market. If he wants tenure track, he will be moving.

Also you are being as narrow-minded as you consider the people in those other places to be. I have lived in several small college towns and if the schools have any science/tech pull they will be very diverse. I have met people from all over the world in towns that you so decry.

A friend of mine lives in Bloomington and they love it. Low CofL, no commute and a great international community. Their super gifted kids are doing amazing and they live in a cute craftsman bungalow. (FWIW they are from diverse ethnic backgrounds as well.)

It's not about the people . I grew up in Bloomington myself!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound spoiled and naive if you think this isn't the path to a job after a PH.D. You go were the openings are. I know someone doing an assistant professor job in Australia after doing a post doc in Ga. Jobs in academia are unicorns and you have to chase after them. It usually involves moving far down the ladder from the tier you get your degree. If you aren't available to move then you have to get a job in the private sector. If you can find a job for your husband here maybe you can stay, but I think you need to get on board with looking for jobs in academia with him. You want him to work all those years just for you to throw a hissy fit now?[/quote

I'm spoiled because I want to stay here and be employed ? How about all the years I studied and worked for my career ?

And this is what marriage is about.... COMPROMISE and COMMUNICATION. Since you have seen him start to look outside of DC, I would suggest bringing up the topic to him so you both can discuss options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound spoiled and naive if you think this isn't the path to a job after a PH.D. You go were the openings are. I know someone doing an assistant professor job in Australia after doing a post doc in Ga. Jobs in academia are unicorns and you have to chase after them. It usually involves moving far down the ladder from the tier you get your degree. If you aren't available to move then you have to get a job in the private sector. If you can find a job for your husband here maybe you can stay, but I think you need to get on board with looking for jobs in academia with him. You want him to work all those years just for you to throw a hissy fit now?[/quote

I'm spoiled because I want to stay here and be employed ? How about all the years I studied and worked for my career ?

And this is what marriage is about.... COMPROMISE and COMMUNICATION. Since you have seen him start to look outside of DC, I would suggest bringing up the topic to him so you both can discuss options.

I could see him pulling a fast one on me and accepting a job without talking to me about it first. He's done similar stuff in the past.