Applying to mainstream private schools: When/how should I tell the admission about DC's autism?

[Anonymous]

If your ASD DC is in a mainstream private:
- When / how did you tell the school about DC's diagnose? Before or after you submit the application?
- What made you decide that it was the best fit for your DC?
- How has the school been providing a social support for your DC? I found that learning specialists are usually for academic support only.

My DC will be applying for a first grade admission.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your ASD DC is in a mainstream private:
- When / how did you tell the school about DC's diagnose? Before or after you submit the application?
- What made you decide that it was the best fit for your DC?
- How has the school been providing a social support for your DC? I found that learning specialists are usually for academic support only.

My DC will be applying for a first grade admission.

Your first priority should be ensuring that the school can provide the services that your child needs. If they can't then you will want to work with them to coordinate the services that you provide out of pocket. So short answer is ASAP so you can see how willing to make accommodations they are. They are not legally obligated to do so as a public school would be.

[Anonymous]

OP - what exactly do you mean by social support? Do you want someone to be assigned to shadow or facilitate social interactions for your child? A weekly social skills group? Or something altogether different?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your ASD DC is in a mainstream private:
- When / how did you tell the school about DC's diagnose? Before or after you submit the application?
- What made you decide that it was the best fit for your DC?
- How has the school been providing a social support for your DC? I found that learning specialists are usually for academic support only.

My DC will be applying for a first grade admission.

Your first priority should be ensuring that the school can provide the services that your child needs. If they can't then you will want to work with them to coordinate the services that you provide out of pocket. So short answer is ASAP so you can see how willing to make accommodations they are. They are not legally obligated to do so as a public school would be.

Yes, to the first, but I don't think the school will need or want to help you coordinate services that you're seeking privately.

OP, what do you mean by "social support?"

Many mainstream privates will list on their website if they follow a social skills curriculum, have OT or ST services. If your kid needs someone to shadow them, that's pretty extreme in terms of support. If they need to participate in a extracurricular social skills group or need redirection from the teacher for rigidity that's in a completely different realm. "Social support" unto itself is too vague.

[Anonymous]

Since you want to make sure your child is in the learning environment best suited to his /her needs, you should be straight forward and tell them right up front. The last thing you want is to waste valuable time learning your child needs to be elsewhere. Assuming of course, that the school somehow misses the diagnosis during the admission process, which is unlikely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Since you want to make sure your child is in the learning environment best suited to his /her needs, you should be straight forward and tell them right up front. The last thing you want is to waste valuable time learning your child needs to be elsewhere. Assuming of course, that the school somehow misses the diagnosis during the admission process, which is unlikely.

Agree. You need to be upfront about the diagnosis and tell the school when you apply. All schools have a section where they ask you if there is anything you need to tell the school about your child and certainly having an ASD diagnosis is not something you should hide.

Our kid with ASD was accepted for preschool at a mainstream private before we knew he was on the spectrum, he had just turned 4, but there is no way of squeaking under the radar at 5. We chose a language immersion charter over the private school where he later got a diagnosis and an IEP - thank our lucky stars bc we most likely could not have stayed at the private school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Since you want to make sure your child is in the learning environment best suited to his /her needs, you should be straight forward and tell them right up front. The last thing you want is to waste valuable time learning your child needs to be elsewhere. Assuming of course, that the school somehow misses the diagnosis during the admission process, which is unlikely.

+1000. It isn't like college or grad school, where your main goal is to get accepted to the very "best" school possible. In the younger years, the goal is for your child to be in an environment that will support him and help him develop to his greatest potential. You need to be able to partner with the school to do this (i.e., be honest and upfront) and they need to be willing to provide whatever your child needs.

[Anonymous]

I agree that the best thing to do is put your cards on the table. You want a school that will work for your child. Do not be surprised if some admissions offices are not encouraging. Some are not a good fit for a kid with autism.

[Anonymous]

They asked us up front if our child had ever been evaluated by a psychologist or neuropsych. If the answer was yes, we had to submit the reports with our application materials. The rest of his application process was normal - interview, placement test, shadow day. The only other difference was that I had to sit for a separate interview with the dean to talk about his issues and how they might impact his behavior and academic performance, as well as whether we would be on the same page about discipline, etc. (mild aspie kid)

He got in and received financial aid and has thrived there ever since. That was in 3rd grade and he's in 6th now.

[Anonymous]

OP, good luck. We did not find the mainstream privates we talked to be very enthusiastic about our HFA child.

[Anonymous]

Non-therapeutic independent schools in Washington do not offer any autism services, interventions, specialists or specific therapeutic "supports."

[Anonymous]

You aren't going to get any social supports. In fact, red flags will probably go up for them if you ask about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They asked us up front if our child had ever been evaluated by a psychologist or neuropsych. If the answer was yes, we had to submit the reports with our application materials. The rest of his application process was normal - interview, placement test, shadow day. The only other difference was that I had to sit for a separate interview with the dean to talk about his issues and how they might impact his behavior and academic performance, as well as whether we would be on the same page about discipline, etc. (mild aspie kid)

He got in and received financial aid and has thrived there ever since. That was in 3rd grade and he's in 6th now.

What school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your ASD DC is in a mainstream private:
- When / how did you tell the school about DC's diagnose? Before or after you submit the application?
- What made you decide that it was the best fit for your DC?
- How has the school been providing a social support for your DC? I found that learning specialists are usually for academic support only.

My DC will be applying for a first grade admission.

I'm in the minority but I would say it depends on whether you think he needs any support during the school day. If yes, agree with PPs that you should make sure it's a good fit for your child. If not, I wouldn't want the schools to come in with a bias. It's rare but know a few mainstreamed kids with ASD diagnoses who do fine in school without supports/accommodations. Hard to tell what OP's child is like from the short description.

[Anonymous]

OP here. What I meant by "social support" is any of the following:
- Recognizing that even though my DC looks content playing alone, DC needs to learn to play with other kids.
- Understanding that recess (and other non-structured periods) are the golden opportunity for my DC is learn social skills and willing to help DC to connect with other kids, even just by simple gesture "Let's see what (Friend A) is playing." or said to (Friend A),"(DC) might be interested in what you're doing."
In short, the teacher should TRY to help facilitate social interaction as much as he/she would help other kids academically in the classroom.
- This might be a a stretch for most schools and will make them anxious ... consider parents bringing in an outside therapist during recess (push-in, not pull out).

I really try to be honest about my DC's diagnosis and needs, if there's an opportunity to talk to the admission privately during school visits/tours, but it always felt that I dropped a bomb and created a tension/awkwardness once the word "autism" comes out.