husband wants to keep baby and I don't

[Anonymous]

Every child should have at least one sibling. Being an only-child is lonely. The daughter will thank you later in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every child should have at least one sibling. Being an only-child is lonely. The daughter will thank you later in life.

Stop.

The is not about siblings. OP already expressed her opinion on that subject. She has the absolute right to choose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am very much pro choice but, honestly, this is not a valid reason for termination.

NP. Not wanting to carry a baby, birth it, and spend 18 years raising it IS a valid reason for termination.

+100 and OP not the first to make that decision.

+1

[MayaJ]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Quietly abort. Tell DH you had a miscarriage.

He won’t fall for that. No one would.

OP is around 38, so the chance of miscarriage or a chromosomally abnormal baby are not insignificant. Almost everyone I know has had at least one miscarriage.

[Anonymous]

MayaJ wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Quietly abort. Tell DH you had a miscarriage.

He won’t fall for that. No one would.

OP is around 38, so the chance of miscarriage or a chromosomally abnormal baby are not insignificant. Almost everyone I know has had at least one miscarriage.

Or 5.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am very much pro choice but, honestly, this is not a valid reason for termination.

NP. Not wanting to carry a baby, birth it, and spend 18 years raising it IS a valid reason for termination.

+100 and OP not the first to make that decision.

It is the woman’s right to choose to abort. Which doesn’t mean that her spouse and others may legitimately find that decision to be morally reprehensible when her stated issue is financial for her daughter who has no particular need for any inheritance. Yes, she has the right to abort. Just as her husband has the right to leave her for that decision.

[Anonymous]

Gosh OP, this is so hard. I personally believe you have the right to choose as it's your body. You also have the right to choose whether you want to be a parent, again, for the rest of your life. The flip side is that you are married and your spouse is in the terrible position of not having a choice in your decision. I think, at the end of the day, you have to choose what is right for you AND be willing to accept the consequences if you choose to terminate (i.e., divorce). I have to think that if it was a strong marriage, termination would not at all be grounds for divorce, which is another reason why I think that if this would be enough for him to take that action, you shouldn't bring another child into this relationship.

[Anonymous]

Regardless of what you do with this pregnancy, it sounds like your marriage is not too steady. I'm saying this because your DH went right to a threat to divorce you. That's not a healthy response. I would get to couples therapy ASAP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have an 11 year old dd and I just found out I am pregnant. I don't want this child and my husband wants it. I have been so careful with my birth control regiment. Our dd is set for life and if we have another one it means that she will get half of what she has now and her inheritance will be divided by two. I just can't. We have discussed it for three days now and he won't budge. If I terminate he threatened divorce. I cannot bring a child into this world that I know I won't love. When we got married we both didn't want any children, then he changed his mind and I gave in. I only agreed because he promised we would be one and done.

You’re mad because DD might have to get a job some day?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow I would divorce you so fast your head would spin. Heartless.

I would too. It is absolutely OP’s choice, but that doesn’t not mean her decision is free of consequences. Likely very damaging consequences. And your daughter will know, if not now then someday, why her dad left you.

THIS. I agree it's 100% her choice. But, I have to say, I would have never forgiven my mother if she had aborted my brother that was born 11 years after me. I know it was a possibility, because I found a heartfelt letter my dad wrote to her begging to keep HIS child. She has no regrets. My brother is amazing and will be the one with the money taking care of them in their senior years. I am a teacher, and while I think I am very successful, the salary would beg to differ.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow I would divorce you so fast your head would spin. Heartless.

I would too. It is absolutely OP’s choice, but that doesn’t not mean her decision is free of consequences. Likely very damaging consequences. And your daughter will know, if not now then someday, why her dad left you.

THIS. I agree it's 100% her choice. But, I have to say, I would have never forgiven my mother if she had aborted my brother that was born 11 years after me. I know it was a possibility, because I found a heartfelt letter my dad wrote to her begging to keep HIS child. She has no regrets. My brother is amazing and will be the one with the money taking care of them in their senior years. I am a teacher, and while I think I am very successful, the salary would beg to differ.

You have no idea whether that is true.

Also, your amazing brother might not need to fund their retirement needs, had they not had to spend money on his needs over the years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow I would divorce you so fast your head would spin. Heartless.

I would too. It is absolutely OP’s choice, but that doesn’t not mean her decision is free of consequences. Likely very damaging consequences. And your daughter will know, if not now then someday, why her dad left you.

THIS. I agree it's 100% her choice. But, I have to say, I would have never forgiven my mother if she had aborted my brother that was born 11 years after me. I know it was a possibility, because I found a heartfelt letter my dad wrote to her begging to keep HIS child. She has no regrets. My brother is amazing and will be the one with the money taking care of them in their senior years. I am a teacher, and while I think I am very successful, the salary would beg to differ.

Your father has every right to have feelings about it but you really don't. It's awfully presumptuous of you to claim any right to forgive or not forgive your mother. She doesn't owe you a sibling. It's an adult decision, children don't get to vote. Your brother is amazing but you bore no cost of his birth or his life so shut up with the stupid forgiveness talk. Grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow I would divorce you so fast your head would spin. Heartless.

I would too. It is absolutely OP’s choice, but that doesn’t not mean her decision is free of consequences. Likely very damaging consequences. And your daughter will know, if not now then someday, why her dad left you.

THIS. I agree it's 100% her choice. But, I have to say, I would have never forgiven my mother if she had aborted my brother that was born 11 years after me. I know it was a possibility, because I found a heartfelt letter my dad wrote to her begging to keep HIS child. She has no regrets. My brother is amazing and will be the one with the money taking care of them in their senior years. I am a teacher, and while I think I am very successful, the salary would beg to differ.

I'm sure that's what she's told you kids.

[Anonymous]

This should be a joint decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am very much pro choice but, honestly, this is not a valid reason for termination.

NP. Not wanting to carry a baby, birth it, and spend 18 years raising it IS a valid reason for termination.

+100 and OP not the first to make that decision.

It is the woman’s right to choose to abort. Which doesn’t mean that her spouse and others may legitimately find that decision to be morally reprehensible when her stated issue is financial for her daughter who has no particular need for any inheritance. Yes, she has the right to abort. Just as her husband has the right to leave her for that decision.

+1. As is often said about another right, you have freedom of speech, but not freedom from the consequences of your speech.