husband wants to keep baby and I don't

[Anonymous]

We have an 11 year old dd and I just found out I am pregnant. I don't want this child and my husband wants it. I have been so careful with my birth control regiment. Our dd is set for life and if we have another one it means that she will get half of what she has now and her inheritance will be divided by two. I just can't. We have discussed it for three days now and he won't budge. If I terminate he threatened divorce. I cannot bring a child into this world that I know I won't love. When we got married we both didn't want any children, then he changed his mind and I gave in. I only agreed because he promised we would be one and done.

[Anonymous]

There’s no middle ground, I’m afraid. One or potentially all of you is going to be unhappy no matter how your proceed. Contact a divorce lawyer and a family therapist today. You’re going to need both. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

You want to terminate because your DD won’t get as much of an inheritance if you have the baby? No wonder your husband is threatening divorce. You guys need to talk to a therapist. It seems odd to me that an inheritance, many decades from now, is the first reason you cite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You want to terminate because your DD won’t get as much of an inheritance if you have the baby? No wonder your husband is threatening divorce. You guys need to talk to a therapist. It seems odd to me that an inheritance, many decades from now, is the first reason you cite.

I’m sure there’s more to it than just an inheritance. I don’t think this marriage will end well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There’s no middle ground, I’m afraid. One or potentially all of you is going to be unhappy no matter how your proceed. Contact a divorce lawyer and a family therapist today. You’re going to need both. Good luck!

This. This is your body so ultimately you get to decide to have the baby or not.

[Anonymous]

I should hope your DD will be a competent enough adult that she doesn’t need to be set for life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You want to terminate because your DD won’t get as much of an inheritance if you have the baby? No wonder your husband is threatening divorce. You guys need to talk to a therapist. It seems odd to me that an inheritance, many decades from now, is the first reason you cite.

I’d rather have siblings than a big inheritance. My own kids are over a decade apart and my older one was thrilled to get a sibling despite understanding the financial impact.

Everyone I know who was one and done got surgically sterilized after the one. Either the H got the snip or the wife got her tubes tied. In a couple cases, they both did it.

OP is going to do what she wants. It just comes with a cost.

[Anonymous]

It’s your body.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You want to terminate because your DD won’t get as much of an inheritance if you have the baby? No wonder your husband is threatening divorce. You guys need to talk to a therapist. It seems odd to me that an inheritance, many decades from now, is the first reason you cite.

I’d rather have siblings than a big inheritance. My own kids are over a decade apart and my older one was thrilled to get a sibling despite understanding the financial impact.

Everyone I know who was one and done got surgically sterilized after the one. Either the H got the snip or the wife got her tubes tied. In a couple cases, they both did it.

OP is going to do what she wants. It just comes with a cost.

+1. OP, I'm sure this comes as a huge shock. But please consider that you need to make this decision in conjunction with your DH; this is not something that you can unilaterally decide, as the consequences will have a huge impact on your DD as well.

Also, please do not assert now that you would not love this baby. You may feel that way in the heat of the surprise, but nature has a way of giving us time for that love to grow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s your body.

And her husband's baby and her DD's sibling.

[Anonymous]

It’s your body, do what you want. That’s not a right to give away. For any reason.

But here are some other thoughts...

Inheritances are never guaranteed. You could get a horrible chronic disease like cancer and blow through everything you have just to stay alive.

Do you love your daughter? Do you enjoy spending time with her and taking care of her? Or do you shove most of on your husband?

Are you both ready to parent a child who could possibly have birth defects? That’s a question everyone should ask themselves before getting pregnant at any age. But I’m saying it now too in case you are older and the risks go up.

If you divorce, is your husband ready to be a full time dad to two kids who are far apart on age?

If you have an abortion and divorce, will your husband be the full time parent?

[Anonymous]

OP I bet your child will love the baby. But having been in a similar situation, where my mom didn't want to have me, I suggest you go to therapy if you do decide to.keep the child.

If you only wanted one and no.more, why didn't you have your tubes tied when you had your first, instead of messing around with birth control? Something isn't adding up in this story.

Another option would be to have the baby, get tubes tied, get a divorce and give dad full custody of both children and you have visitation rights. That way you are done, and he gets to have the kids he wanted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s your body.

And her husband's baby and her DD's sibling.

Not enough reason to make her do something with her body that she doesn’t want to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You want to terminate because your DD won’t get as much of an inheritance if you have the baby? No wonder your husband is threatening divorce. You guys need to talk to a therapist. It seems odd to me that an inheritance, many decades from now, is the first reason you cite.

I’d rather have siblings than a big inheritance. My own kids are over a decade apart and my older one was thrilled to get a sibling despite understanding the financial impact.

Everyone I know who was one and done got surgically sterilized after the one. Either the H got the snip or the wife got her tubes tied. In a couple cases, they both did it.

OP is going to do what she wants. It just comes with a cost.

+1. OP, I'm sure this comes as a huge shock. But please consider that you need to make this decision in conjunction with your DH; this is not something that you can unilaterally decide, as the consequences will have a huge impact on your DD as well.

Also, please do not assert now that you would not love this baby. You may feel that way in the heat of the surprise, but nature has a way of giving us time for that love to grow.

Actually it is. Only a woman can choose to terminate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s your body.

And her husband's baby and her DD's sibling.

Neither allows them to decide to go through with the pregnancy. This is solely OP’s decision.