husband wants to keep baby and I don't

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I bet your child will love the baby. But having been in a similar situation, where my mom didn't want to have me, I suggest you go to therapy if you do decide to.keep the child.

If you only wanted one and no.more, why didn't you have your tubes tied when you had your first, instead of messing around with birth control? Something isn't adding up in this story.

Another option would be to have the baby, get tubes tied, get a divorce and give dad full custody of both children and you have visitation rights. That way you are done, and he gets to have the kids he wanted.

I know so many women where doctors flat out refused to tie their tubes because they may change their minds. That may not have been an option. Although I will say that someone who hates the idea of another baby sure didn’t pay attention to birth control as much as she claims.

[Anonymous]

If it’s about the inheritance, just leave everything to your DD. There’s no law sayin you have to split everything equally.

[Anonymous]

Wow I would divorce you so fast your head would spin. Heartless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow I would divorce you so fast your head would spin. Heartless.

I would too. It is absolutely OP’s choice, but that doesn’t not mean her decision is free of consequences. Likely very damaging consequences. And your daughter will know, if not now then someday, why her dad left you.

[Anonymous]

OP already has one kid and knows what that means (yeah, maybe she loves her existing one but doesn’t want to put her body through the trauma, go through the child-rearing days, etc.). Make an appointment at planned parenthood stat. You would probably be better off if your DH divorces you than living a life you do not want to live.

[Anonymous]

I was easily able to get my tubes tied in my early 30s when I was done having children. Ladies - be responsible and make smart decisions so you don’t end up like OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s your body.

And her husband's baby and her DD's sibling.

You think her 13 yo kid has a say in this woman’s bodily choices? Wow, next thing you know her kid will be voting in 2020 for her.

[Anonymous]

Ok, you can still leave everything in your will to your older child and leave nothing for the younger

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry OP. I got PG unexpectedly after having kids/feeling our family was complete- and did have an abortion. I had DHs support though. So- no judgment at all for considering abortion.

I don’t think the inheritance issue is a valid reason, and is part of why some are criticizing you.

How is your marriage otherwise? Day to day logistics? Is DH the point “parent”? Enough $$ to hire things out, quality nanny etc etc?

If DH was willing to be the hands on parent day to day, $ was good, and I was happy in my marriage otherwise- I’d probably have the DB.

If I was unhappy or shaky in my marriage in the first place, or DH was “all talk no action” (leaving the bulk of parenting to me)- I’d terminate.

I’d call and make an appt for an abortion now- I was very surprised at how long it took to get in (and can always be cancelled)

If I agreed to continue the pregnancy it would be contingent on a clean CVS result (I am assuming you are older)- which I would schedule at first opportunity.

Just what my thought process would be. It would really hinge on my feelings about my marriage. Either way- good luck- it will be ok!!

And you know it is DCUM and there are lots of judgy bitches on here- don’t take it personally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I bet your child will love the baby. But having been in a similar situation, where my mom didn't want to have me, I suggest you go to therapy if you do decide to.keep the child.

If you only wanted one and no.more, why didn't you have your tubes tied when you had your first, instead of messing around with birth control? Something isn't adding up in this story.

Another option would be to have the baby, get tubes tied, get a divorce and give dad full custody of both children and you have visitation rights. That way you are done, and he gets to have the kids he wanted.

I asked to get my tubes tied after the birth of dd and the doctors wouldn't do it incase my husband wants more kids. We were both sitting there and said we were done and the doctor kept saying what if we change our minds. at the end we just decided to be very careful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I bet your child will love the baby. But having been in a similar situation, where my mom didn't want to have me, I suggest you go to therapy if you do decide to.keep the child.

If you only wanted one and no.more, why didn't you have your tubes tied when you had your first, instead of messing around with birth control? Something isn't adding up in this story.

Another option would be to have the baby, get tubes tied, get a divorce and give dad full custody of both children and you have visitation rights. That way you are done, and he gets to have the kids he wanted.

I asked to get my tubes tied after the birth of dd and the doctors wouldn't do it incase my husband wants more kids. We were both sitting there and said we were done and the doctor kept saying what if we change our minds. at the end we just decided to be very careful.

This is highly unusual. Are you very young?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I bet your child will love the baby. But having been in a similar situation, where my mom didn't want to have me, I suggest you go to therapy if you do decide to.keep the child.

If you only wanted one and no.more, why didn't you have your tubes tied when you had your first, instead of messing around with birth control? Something isn't adding up in this story.

Another option would be to have the baby, get tubes tied, get a divorce and give dad full custody of both children and you have visitation rights. That way you are done, and he gets to have the kids he wanted.

I asked to get my tubes tied after the birth of dd and the doctors wouldn't do it incase my husband wants more kids. We were both sitting there and said we were done and the doctor kept saying what if we change our minds. at the end we just decided to be very careful.

Hard to believe. I had mine done after DC#2 at a Catholic hospital and no one asked for DH’s permission.

[Anonymous]

Your husband is very selfish indeed for moving the goalposts.

You have every right to abort.

One option is to give up the baby for adoption, but I understand you might not want to carry a baby to term in those conditions.

[Anonymous]

Your reason sound beyond stupid to me, but I am not you. It would be best if you didn't have this baby as you do not sound as a caring person at all. The closed minded set that you will not love this baby is absurd. The idea that you will be taking money from your dd is absurd. Everything you wrote is absurd, apart from the fact that you don't want the baby. That is reason enough. This will lead to a divorce, but hey, women should not have babies just to stay married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Your husband is very selfish indeed for moving the goalposts.

You have every right to abort.

One option is to give up the baby for adoption, but I understand you might not want to carry a baby to term in those conditions.

He didn’t move the goal posts. The pregnancy was an accident that they BOTH took part in as neither pursued a surgical solution. It’s not like OP said “I will abort all future babies” and DH agreed in advance.